(no subject)

[xsuperstar]

I figured if i hide it on the outside long enough,
it will eventually go away on the inside.
But it's eating my alive. Inside out. 
I wish, i wish i could just erase it all. 
Every moment. Every tear. Every laugh. 
Every fight. Every smile. Every kiss.
But, its not as easy as it seems. 
Step by step and day by day it will..
it will begin to rot away. 
Going further and further into my mind. 
Until one day, it will only be something
that comes to me with the glance of a picture.
Until one day, it will be a long lost happiness
that only makes me laugh at the thought of it.
Until one day, it will only be something 
that makes me remember my past and how niave i was. 
But until that day, it will be a daily thought. 
A daily thought that will only make me question myself.
A daily thought that will make me stop and remember. 
A daily thought that will turn my happiness into sadness.
And once it is no longer a daily thought, i will be happy again. 
Happy that i won't have to suffer.
Happy that i won't regret my decisions.
Happy that i won't feel so alone.
Happy that i won't be tortured.
Happy that i will be whole again.