But I don't care for myself...
How easy is regression?
How easy is it to recognise a pattern?
Some things never change.
5,6 years later elements of my self destructive behaviour still remain.
I may not follow through
but
the thought remains...
How can I be 22 and still be behaving as I was when I was 14?
Is this an indication of something more sinister perhaps?
Or am I being as much of a hypochondriach and self obsessed person as I was back then?
I can't even construct a fluent sentence.
I'm supposed to be a fucking social worker for god's sake and I can't get my OWN shit together.
How does one overcome this?
I read in one of my old journals 'resolve not resort'
but resorting is so much easier, quick fix.
I've never resolved anything come to think of it
I've never even 'overcome' anything.
I've just moved on.
Consequently, I'd never progressed at dealing with my own emotions and distress beyond the capacity of a 14yr old.
Oh how the mighty fall.
How easy is it to recognise a pattern?
Some things never change.
5,6 years later elements of my self destructive behaviour still remain.
I may not follow through
but
the thought remains...
How can I be 22 and still be behaving as I was when I was 14?
Is this an indication of something more sinister perhaps?
Or am I being as much of a hypochondriach and self obsessed person as I was back then?
I can't even construct a fluent sentence.
I'm supposed to be a fucking social worker for god's sake and I can't get my OWN shit together.
How does one overcome this?
I read in one of my old journals 'resolve not resort'
but resorting is so much easier, quick fix.
I've never resolved anything come to think of it
I've never even 'overcome' anything.
I've just moved on.
Consequently, I'd never progressed at dealing with my own emotions and distress beyond the capacity of a 14yr old.
Oh how the mighty fall.