It's only in your head you feel left out, or looked down on...
Today was alright I guess. I was really tired and stressed today. It's starting to worry me when I'm so tired like I was today, because I can't focus. I had a left over protein bar that I was going to eat in mod 4/5 because I needed the energy, even if its 210 calories. It was smooshed and I didn't want it. So I ate one just now, although I don't know what good energy is going to give me now. I plan on telling my mom I had a really big lunch. It's time to get down to damn business.
I'm 106 pounds. God I want to be back down to 102 again. I'm jealous of everyone losing weight, and Adam rubs it in my face every freakin' day. We honestly talk about how much we weigh at every lunch period. It's gone from "Tina, you're really tiny" to "HA! I'm SKINNIER than you!" I wanna show all those fuckers. I wanna show them all who REALLY is skinnier than them. It's gonna be me. Give me 3 weeks. I'm pretty sure my dream of being 100 by homecoming is over, unless I can lose 6 pounds in 5 days. I'll lose weight before then though, even if it's not 100. I just gotta fight it, and tell my mom I had too much food to eat today.
Green tea is honestly my savior. It makes you feel so full, which is good. Not a bad kind of full, a satisfied full. A full where you know you haven't eaten anything, but you're full anyway. That's control.
I have to be perfect.
Everything else is going fairly well, though. Me and Jason are doing just fine.
To anyone who's reading this, I really have to apologize. I've been a bitch lately, particularly in the past 2 weeks or so. I'm not going to say it's not my fault, because I've gotta own up to it. It HAS been my fault. I'm really stressed out, and tired, and I know I shouldn't take it out on anyone, but I'm really trying hard. Fortunately, I've had a few select people who have been really tolerant of me and my bitchiness and I love you guys for it...you know who you are ;) I'm trying hard to balance everything and still act like I used to. I hate not being happy like I used to, and I'm really sorry to anyone who's felt my wrath in the past few weeks. I'm hoping it'll all blow over eventually. Homecoming week isn't making it any better.
-Tina
*How wonderful life is now you're in the world...*
I'm 106 pounds. God I want to be back down to 102 again. I'm jealous of everyone losing weight, and Adam rubs it in my face every freakin' day. We honestly talk about how much we weigh at every lunch period. It's gone from "Tina, you're really tiny" to "HA! I'm SKINNIER than you!" I wanna show all those fuckers. I wanna show them all who REALLY is skinnier than them. It's gonna be me. Give me 3 weeks. I'm pretty sure my dream of being 100 by homecoming is over, unless I can lose 6 pounds in 5 days. I'll lose weight before then though, even if it's not 100. I just gotta fight it, and tell my mom I had too much food to eat today.
Green tea is honestly my savior. It makes you feel so full, which is good. Not a bad kind of full, a satisfied full. A full where you know you haven't eaten anything, but you're full anyway. That's control.
I have to be perfect.
Everything else is going fairly well, though. Me and Jason are doing just fine.
To anyone who's reading this, I really have to apologize. I've been a bitch lately, particularly in the past 2 weeks or so. I'm not going to say it's not my fault, because I've gotta own up to it. It HAS been my fault. I'm really stressed out, and tired, and I know I shouldn't take it out on anyone, but I'm really trying hard. Fortunately, I've had a few select people who have been really tolerant of me and my bitchiness and I love you guys for it...you know who you are ;) I'm trying hard to balance everything and still act like I used to. I hate not being happy like I used to, and I'm really sorry to anyone who's felt my wrath in the past few weeks. I'm hoping it'll all blow over eventually. Homecoming week isn't making it any better.
-Tina
*How wonderful life is now you're in the world...*