(no subject)
i really don't know what it is. i mean. in the beginning it's all good and happy and "lustful"(?)wow. that sounding dirty. but you know what i mean. anyways. now it's like. we're friends with benefits. i mean. it's ok if he'd at least acknowledge me. ya know? but noo. it's like. just ignore lindsay. and yes. i get jealous when i look at doug/missy, linda/case, and lauryn/chris because i know me and him can't be like that. it just won't happen. he's not going to change. i mean. he rarely holds my hand. and the only time he'd act like he cares is when we're at a party so he can get some. and i mean. i'm not in this relationship for that. i'm in it because i love him. yes i said love. (what does that mean at our age actually?). but yeah. i dunno. i tried to talk to him today about it and i still don't think he got it. i just... i dunno. if he thinks we're just friends with benefits, i don't want to waste my time loving someone who doesn't love me back. i just can't do it. so if that's what he thinks. then we should just end this now (for me at least). cuz i'm not going to put up with this any longer. it's just not gonna happen because i'll explode. and it's not gonna be pretty. comment <-that's the little button at the bottom of this entry that says: beautifly in love
..:Lindz:..
..:Lindz:..