(no subject)
I feel like I thoroughly confused myself over the course of the past 3 weeks. As we all know, I started to see Jessica again. I haven't seen her in years, and now, we've seen each other 4 times in the past 3 weeks. A couple of the times, I just drove down cause I wanted to....2 times, they were planned....its as if we never stopped seeing each other in the first place...and the connection that we have is amazing. We just click...:)...she's my best friend EVER...the only problem is...is that we have feelings for each other...which have been there for years....but she has a boyfriend. Now you're all thinking...."mike, why does that happen to you all the time?" I'm thinking to myself...."why does this happen to me all the time?" The thing is..is that its different this time. I've said so many times before that I'll wait and see how things go....and we ALL know that I never stick around...I fish the open waters and try things out, then end up getting into something bad, and go back to that person...I'm not going to sit here and fill your heads with the "its different this time" or "i'm going to wait forever for her" BS that you've seen so many times...and all the other stuff I've written about loving someone for years, and comparing her to other people ....cause all i do is compare people to each other...you date one person, you compare them. you know what? I already know the feelings that I have for her. We're more than friends...but there's limitations....its no longer obsession...or an unlofty goal that I can't have..its within arms length...I know its something I can have....we've already talked about things....i just have to wait....which is something historically i've never been able to do...but I've done it with her for almost 5 years now..can i hang on a few months? We'll see, but my cards are on the table...she knows what I want....i just have to grow up, be patient and wait...
I've grown up a lot really in the past few months...contrary to common belief....but I think I can do it...
I've grown up a lot really in the past few months...contrary to common belief....but I think I can do it...