One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)
Title: One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)
Author: xstockpiledmmrs
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie ; Ryan Ross/Gabe Saporta ; Ryan Ross/Keltie Colleen
POV: Third, Ryan-centric
Words: ~10,000
Disclaimer: Not true, and will never be true. The title and the lyrics belong to the song One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later), by Bob Dylan
Summary: But, sooner or later, one of us must know. You just did what you’re supposed to do. Sooner or later, one of us must know, that I really did try to get close to you.
Author's Notes: Uhm. This just kind of… happened over a course of 3 or 4 days? I just was really intent on making this perfect and nice, and… well, I doubt it is. But I hope you like it. <33
“Good night, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.” Ryan smiled as he looked up, watching his boss walk out of his office.
“Don’t stay up here too late, all right?”
Ryan nodded, his gaze following the shorter, younger male all the way down the hall, then into the elevators. When the doors shut with a ping, he let out the breath he had been holding without realizing it. He turned his eyes to the bright screen of his computer, letting out a soft sigh.
Two years, eight months, three weeks, five days, six hours, twenty-nine minutes, and 51 seconds had been how long Ryan had been working as a secretary for Urie Industries.
Two years, eight months, three weeks, five days, five hours, forty-two minutes and nineteen seconds had been how long Ryan had been in love with his boss, Brendon Urie.
It was a cruel, cruel world.
--
”Good morning, Ryan.”
“Good morning, Mr. Urie. You have a meeting with Jonathon Walker today at three, and a lunch date with Pete Wentz.” Ryan stood up, handing a folder full of papers and such to his boss, who smiled at him.
“Thank you, Ryan. You didn’t stay here too late, did you?”
“Of course not, Mr. Urie. Only ‘til eleven thirty this time.” Ryan licked his lips, fidgeting slightly. “Just like you said.”
“Good. I can’t have you falling asleep on the job, can I?” Mr. Urie laughed, causing Ryan to smile as he opened the door to his office and stepping in. It was always tough not to smile when Mr. Urie laughed, or just smiled, because the feeling of happiness was just so contagious. As much as he tried not to, Ryan loved it.
Ryan moved away from his desk, out towards the elevator. As soon as Mr. Urie had come in for the morning, he went out to the Starbucks across the street and got him his morning coffees. Honestly, it didn’t bother him; he was fully willing to do anything for Mr. Urie. It was his job, anyway.
He hurried past the busy street and into the just as busy coffee shop, waiting in line. Ryan secretly wished that he could just order the coffee from the office building, seeing as it was a lot easier, but Mr. Urie had to have his Starbucks. Nothing else.
“Here you are, Mr. Urie,” Ryan set the plastic carton holding the four coffees on the desk in his boss’ office, glancing up at him.
“Thank you, Ryan,” he said, all ready grabbing for one of the cups. His finger’s brushed Ryan’s as the male was pulling away, and Ryan’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Mr. Urie took no notice. “Could you please call Travis McCoy for me and cancel that meeting we were going to have next Tuesday? I have somewhere else to be.”
“Leaving for the holidays?” Ryan asked, clasping his hands in front of him.
“Nope. It’s my nephew’s birthday party. I think my sister would just about die if I didn’t make it.” Mr. Urie chuckled. “You wouldn’t happen to no what to get a four year old boy, would you?”
Ryan bit his lip, shrugging. “Uhm… He might like cars or dinosaurs… or something?”
“Good idea. Thank you, Ryan.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Urie.” Ryan backed out of the room, shutting the door as he left.
That was a typical morning.
--
“Good afternoon, Mr. Urie.” Ryan stepped into the office, casting a glance at the male sitting across from Mr. Urie, looking over his appearance.
“What can I do for you, Ryan?”
“It’s lunchtime, Mr. Urie. What would you and Mr. Wentz like to order for lunch?” Ryan asked, setting the tip of his pen to the pad of paper he was holding.
“Oh… Pete, what are in the mood for?” Mr. Urie looked over at Mr. Wentz, raising his eyebrows.
Mr. Wentz grinned, eyeing Ryan. “Is your secretary on the menu?”
Ryan flushed, casting his gaze down, listening to Mr. Urie chuckle. “Sorry, Pete, Ryan’s not on it. But, you know, there is a Cesar salad on the menu, which probably isn’t as tasty, but still good enough.”
“Well, if that’s the best you’ve got, than sure.”
“I’ll just have what I usually get, Ryan. Thank you.”
Ryan nodded his head, scribbling their orders down and leaving the room, not once looking back up. Even when he returned with the two lunches, he didn’t make eye contact with either of the men, too embarrassed to do much else.
--
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.”
“Good night. And Ryan?”
“Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Please, call me Brendon.”
“If you wish, Mr. Urie.”
“Ryan.”
He looked up and away from his computer screen, chewing on his lip. “Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“I really wish you would call me Brendon.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Urie-Brendon.”
Mr. Urie smiled at him, sitting on the edge of Ryan’s desk and watching him. Ryan was all ready turned back to his computer, tapping away at the keys. “You know, Ryan, I don’t know anything about you, besides your age and last name.”
“There’s not much else to know, sir.”
“Tell me something interesting about you.”
Ryan slowly moved his gaze to Mr.- Brendon. “Uhm… I have two dogs?”
“Really? What are their names?” Brendon asked, reaching a hand out to press a button on Ryan’s monitor, turning off the screen.
“Hobo and Shotgun,” Ryan replied, nodding his head slightly.
Brendon chuckled. “Those are really unique names.”
“I guess you could say that.” Ryan shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Anything else?”
“Oh, uhm… I like music?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“I mean… I like to play music,” Ryan corrected, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so? What instrument do you play?”
“Nothing special.”
“Well, tell me anyway.”
Ryan shrugged. “Guitar, keyboard, piano, organ, accordion, banjo, and a few other things.”
“Wow. The banjo?”
Ryan nodded his head timidly. “Y-yeah. I don’t really know why. I just… did.”
“No, no. That’s cool. I mean, all of those instruments? That’s a lot. Which one’s your favorite?”
“Guitar.”
“What kind do you have?”
“Uhm… I’m not sure. I have three of them, I know that. Two are electric, and one’s acoustic.”
Brendon nodded. “Are you in a band?”
“No.”
Ryan watched as Brendon started to stand up. “Ryan, why don’t you leave the office early for once? I’m sure you must be tired.”
“I have work to do though, sir.”
“That’s all right, I don’t mind.” Brendon walked behind Ryan’s desk, pushing Ryan’s chair away so he could have access to the keyboard of the computer. “Just let me shut down your computer for you.”
“Sir, I have a document on there that-“
“Don’t worry, it’s saved.” Brendon stood up after he had turned off Ryan’s computer, grinning down at the male still in the chair. “Now, come on. I just happen to know that you walk here, so I’ll give you a ride home.”
“You don’t have-“
“But I want to.”
Ryan sighed and nodded, standing up and pushing his chair into the desk. He collected some of his things and shoved them into a bag that he carried around, looking up at Brendon before he shut off his desk light. “Okay… I’m ready.”
“Good, let’s go.”
The two walked out of the office building together, jaywalked across the street to Brendon’s fancy car, and settled themselves in the seats. Ryan was practically against the door in the passenger side, trying to keep his distance from Brendon. He wanted, -oh did he want it- to be close to Brendon, but he just couldn’t. The man was married.
Oh right.
Did Ryan ever fail to think about how Brendon was married to a blonde girl, who was absolutely perfect? At least, he thought, they don’t have any kids.
“Ryan?”
He turned his head away from the window, looking at Brendon. “Yes, sir?”
“What street do you live on?”
“Oh… 37th. Number 40,” Ryan replied, moving his gaze back to watching houses and lights pass by.
The rest of the car ride went on in silence, besides their breathing, and Ryan felt uncomfortable throughout the whole thing. When they reached his house, or more like townhouse, Ryan quickly opened the door, stepping out. He started to say ‘thank you’, until Brendon was also getting out of the car.
Blinking, Ryan walked around the car and across the street to the steps of his house. He walked up the few steps carefully, noting that they were still icy and slippery. At his doormat, he could hear Brendon struggling on the steps behind him, and he turned, looking at him.
“Just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”
“Thank you,” Ryan replied, pushing his key into the lock, turning it. “That’s really kind of you.”
Brendon shrugged with a lazy smile, watching Ryan. Ryan himself watched as Brendon’s gaze traveled up to the overhang that covered the doorway. “You hang up mistletoe?”
“Just to get into the spirit,” Ryan replied, opening his door and starting to step in. Brendon’s hand grabbed his arm, however, stopping him.
“Don’t you know the story of mistletoe?”
Ryan shook his head, turning to look at Brendon. “Not really.”
“Whenever two people are underneath it, they kiss.”
“O-oh. I didn’t know.”
“That’s okay.”
His body started to shake as Brendon leaned in towards him, eyes staring into his. Slowly, softly, their lips met in a kiss. Ryan’s knees were about to give in, and thankfully, Brendon wrapped an arm around Ryan’s waist, keeping him steady. The kiss wasn’t forced, or rough. It was sweet and simple, and it was just about killing Ryan on the inside.
After almost a minute, Brendon pulled away slightly, smiling against Ryan’s lips. “Good night, Ryan.”
“G-good night, Mr. U-Urie,” Ryan stuttered out, watching as Brendon moved away and started down his steps. He was long gone in a few moments, but Ryan stood there for almost five minutes, simply staring at the spot where Brendon had been standing.
“Oh my fucking God,” he mumbled, going through the door and shutting it behind him.
--
Brendon came out of the elevators, walking towards Ryan with a smile on his face.
“Good morning, Mr. Urie.”
“Ryan, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Brendon?”
“At least a hundred more, Mr. Urie.”
Ryan watched Brendon chuckle and move into his office, thought not before sending him a barely noticeable wink. He could’ve just about melted right then and there, but he managed to keep his composure. He swiveled back around to face his computer, swallowing hard. After last night, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around his boss now.
“Ryan?”
He turned his head when he heard Brendon’s voice coming from the room behind him, and he stood up quickly. Ryan grabbed the notepad, just in case, and scurried into the office.
“Shut the door please, Ryan.”
Nodding, Ryan shut the door, chewing on his lip.
“I need some Christmas shopping done, so I was wondering if you could go ahead and do that for me?”
“Of course.”
“Good, good. So, here’s a list of the thing’s to buy, and of course you know the credit card to use.”
“Of course,” Ryan replied, moving forward to grab the slip of paper.
“Oh, and add one thing to the list, will you?”
Ryan nodded, looking up at Brendon. “My sister has a nephew, and he wants to play the guitar. Would you go down to the music store and buy the guitar you think is nicest? Don’t worry about the price. I’d do anything for that guy.”
“Of course, Mr. Urie.”
“Thank you, Ryan.”
He turned to leave the office when he heard his name called again. “Yes, Mr. Urie?”
Ryan watched as Brendon stood up, walking around his desk and sitting on the edge of it. “Sit down, Ryan,” Brendon said, pointing to one of the chairs in front of him. He nodded and did so, blinking up at his boss.
“You know… about last night…” Brendon sighed, tapping his fingers against the wood of his desk. “That shouldn’t have happened. I hope you know that.”
Ryan nodded his head slowly, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. “Of course.”
“I’m sorry for instigating that. It was obviously wrong, and I shouldn’t have led you on or anything, because I certainly don’t have those kinds of feelings for you.”
“Oh… you… you never did.”
“Good. Now that that’s settled, you may go.”
He stood up, biting his quivering lip and almost running out of the office. He dropped his notepad and the list onto his desk, grabbing the edge of it. Ryan sniffled, blinking back the tears in his eyes. He quickly grabbed a tissue out of the tissue box, dabbing underneath his eyes. He didn’t have the time to run off to the bathroom and cry like he wanted to, and oh, did he want to.
Ryan let out a quiet sob, quickly slamming a hand over his mouth. He just couldn’t let Brendon hear that he was crying. After all, it wasn’t like he should have any feelings for him anymore, anyway. There was no point in it.
“Ryan?”
Oh, great.
He quickly fanned at his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down. He walked back into Brendon’s office, a hand behind his back with his index and middle fingers crossed in hopes that his eyes weren’t red. “Y-yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Can you get me a bagel?”
“Of course, Mr. Urie.”
“Thank you, Ryan.”
“Anything for you, Mr. Urie.”
--
“Good night, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.”
“You’re leaving early.”
Ryan turned his head, looking at Brendon as he was pulling his coat on. “It’s Christmas Eve, Mr. Urie. I’m going to go visit my family for Christmas.”
“Aren’t you even going to say Merry Christmas?”
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Urie.”
“Merry Christmas, Ryan.”
Ryan forced a smile at the male before turning and grabbing a file off of his desk. “By the way, here are my resignation papers.”
“You’re what?”
“I got a job in New Jersey. I’m moving.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“I’m not happy here.” Ryan simply shrugged, sending another small smile at Brendon. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Urie. It was a pleasure working for you.” He wrapped a scarf around his neck and grabbed a box full of all of his stuff, starting towards the elevator.
“Ryan, are you quitting because of me?”
Ryan turned inside of the elevator, facing Brendon. Just as the doors were shutting, and Brendon was about to be blocked out of his life forever, he nodded.
--
Spencer looked up to see Ryan, waving slightly with the spoon from his cereal, “Hey, Ry.”
“Good morning, Spencer.” Ryan smiled at his friend, sitting across the table from him. “Thank you so much for letting me stay here with you and Jon until I get up on my feet.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem. You know we’d do anything for you.”
Ryan nodded, stealing Spencer’s coffee cup and taking a quick sip. “I’m really starting to like New Jersey. New York wasn’t as nice and quaint.”
“Probably because you couldn’t steal my coffee when you were in New York,” Spencer retorted playfully, grabbing his cup back. “Why’d you come here again, anyway?”
“Oh, you know… I wasn’t making as much as I wanted to.”
“Greedy.”
“Am not!”
“You were making over $80,000 working for that company! And you were just a secretary,” Spencer said, flicking Ryan’s head. “You can’t get any better than that.”
Ryan shrugged, licking his lips. “I have my reasons.”
“In love with your boss?”
“How’d you know?” Ryan asked, his jaw dropping.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Ryan, we’ve been friends forever. Remember how we both wanted to lose our virginity, but we didn’t want to lose it to someone who didn’t care about us, so we just did each other?”
Ryan nodded his head slowly.
“It’s like that… we have a bond now.”
“I think you’re on crack.” Ryan laughed, head shaking. “Seriously. You are. We so do not have a bond.”
“We so do. Don’t deny it.”
--
“Uhm… Ryan? There’s someone here to see you.”
Yawning, Ryan sat up in the guest bed he was in, rubbing at his eyes. “Who’d be here to see me?”
Jon shrugged, pulling back the sheets on the bed. “Who cares? He looks pretty sexy. And he has an Armani suit. So, let’s get you all prettied up. You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Jon. Thanks a lot.” Ryan rolled his eyes and slipped out of the bed, letting Jon pick out his clothes.
“Go brush your teeth and your hair real quick. And put on some eyeliner.”
“I am not putting on eyeliner.”
“But he’s sexy.”
“Jon-“
“Do it!”
“Jon-”
Ryan let out a yell as Jon tackled him to the bed, all ready holding a stick of eyeliner. He pushed Jon away, shaking his head. “I am not wearing eyeliner, okay?”
“But it’s a sexy guy for you!”
He shook his head, pulling on his clothes. Ryan simply left the room and walked down the stairs, brushing a hand through his hair. He stopped when he was halfway down the stairs, seeing Brendon standing there, looking impatient.
“Hey, Ryan.”
“Uhm… Hi Mr. Urie.” He made his way down the last few steps, biting nervously on his lower lip.
“Ryan, I’m not your boss anymore. I was hoping that at least now you could call me Brendon.”
Ryan nodded his head slowly. “Oh, okay. What, not to seem rude or anything, but… What are you doing here?”
“Well, you left without any warning, really, so I never got to throw you a going away party!” Brendon said, smiling warmly at Ryan. “I figured I might as well make it up to you right now.”
“Uhm… I don’t know…”
“C’mon, please?”
“Yeah, Ry, please?”
Ryan turned, looking up at Spencer and Jon, who were both hanging over the railing of the second floor, staring down at the doorway. “You guys just want me out of here so you have the house to yourselves.”
“What can I say? Spencer’s a fox… Well, he’s more like a lion in bed, but you can join us and see how it’s-“
“I’ll go,” Ryan said quickly, turning back to face Brendon. “Just… let me finish getting ready and everything.”
“Oh, no problem,” Brendon replied, nodding his head.
Ryan nodded as well, turning and hurrying up the stairs. Before he went into the guest bedroom, he made sure to whack both Spencer and Jon across the back of the head. Jon thought this was an invitation to help him get ready, so he left Spencer to follow Ryan into the bedroom.
“All right. Those clothes will definitely not do. And your hair! It’s-“
“You’re starting to act like Spencer.”
“Ryan, I’ve been acting like Spencer for three years. Get over it. Now, about that eyeliner.”
Ryan rolled his eyes and grabbed the clothes Jon gave him, stomping into the bathroom. He changed quickly, brushed his hair, and then his teeth. Honestly, he wasn’t looking for a chance to impress Brendon anymore. He knew that it would be pointless to try anyways, considering there was still the fact that Brendon had a wife, and he didn’t have any feelings for him.
“I guess you look pretty enough,” Jon commented as Ryan walked out, moving forward to fix the collar on his shirt.
“Jon, I really don’t care. I’m just getting out of this house so you and Spin can fuck.”
“Thank you. But you know, we were doing it while you were anyway.”
He shook his head, walking away from Jon. “That’s just gross,” he called before moving down the stairs. Brendon was still waiting there, rocking back and forth on his feet.
“Ready to go?”
“I guess so,” Ryan replied with a shrug, exiting the house and shutting the door behind him. Together, he and Brendon walked down the steps towards the street. He looked up, looking for Brendon’s car. “Are we walking?”
“Nah. Whenever I go out of state, I use my limo.”
Ryan’s eyes widened slightly, and he moved his eyes down the street to eye the black limousine. “A limo?”
“Yeah. Only the best for the best, right?”
“Uhm… yeah.”
Ryan watched as a man opened the back door of the limousine for them and Brendon let Ryan slip in first. Ryan was in awe as he stared around the inside of the limo, fingers brushing across the leather of the seats.
“Do you like it?”
Ryan nodded his head, turning to look at Brendon. “Y-yeah. Where are we going?”
Brendon shrugged. “Where do you want to go?”
“A lake… There’s a lake near here. Off of the highway,” Ryan said quickly, nodding his head. “There’s ducks there. I feed bread to them.”
Brendon chuckled and moved across the limo towards the front, pressing a button. A window in between the back area and the driver’s area went down. “That lake we passed. Go there?”
Soon, Brendon was sitting back beside him, grabbing a bottle of champagne from the mini bar area. “Want some?”
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t drink.”
“Champagne?”
“Any alcohol.”
“Oh, all right.”
Ryan found himself interested with all of the buttons, starting to press each one. Somewhere behind him, he could hear Brendon laughing softly at him, but he didn’t seem to mind. He pushed one of the buttons watching as the sunroof opened. His jaw dropped, and he moved forward. Slowly, Ryan raised a hand up through the hole in the roof, feeling the rush of air push his hand back against one of the edges.
“I can have Mark slow down, if you want. You can stick your head out,” Brendon said, and Ryan jumped. He hadn’t noticed Brendon move from his spot to be near him, his breath ghosting against the skin of his cheek.
“Oh… okay.”
Brendon smiled, brushing past Ryan to go towards the front again. “We’re just about at the lake anyway, so it’s all right to go ahead and get on up there.”
Ryan nodded and pulled himself up cautiously, a smile forming on his lips as the wind whipped through his hair. They weren’t on the highway anymore, but on a gravely road leading down to the lake he had mentioned. He stayed up there the rest of the drive, simply leaning against the roof and watching the scenery pass by.
“You going to come down anytime soon?” Brendon asked, and Ryan looked down, nodding his head as they came to a stop. He dropped down, brushing his now tangled hair out of his face. “Good, now come on.”
They slipped out of the limousine, and Ryan wished that he had some bread with him at the moment. There were dozens of ducks along the bank, and he grinned. He could feel Brendon watching him as he walked down towards the water, the ducks staying where they were. He slipped off his shoes and socks, starting to roll up his jeans.
“What are you doing?”
Ryan turned, looking at Brendon. “Uhm… trying to catch a duck?”
“Why?”
“It’s fun. Want to try?” He watched as Brendon looked down at his Armani suit, shrugging.
“Well…”
“Okay. You don’t have to.” Ryan smiled at him slightly before he started to wade into the water, moving quietly towards the ducks.
“You’re going to get wet.”
“That’s okay.”
“You’re crazy.”
“That’s okay.” Ryan dove for a duck, watching as it flew away and he fell into the water. Surfacing, he laughed, shaking damp hair out of his face.
“Okay. I take that back. You’re insane.”
Ryan shrugged, standing up and looking around. “I scared all of the ducks away.”
“Obviously.”
He nodded his head and moved back towards the bank, starting to tug off his shirt.
“Now what are you doing?”
“Swimming.”
“Why?”
“I like swimming,” Ryan replied, pulling his pants off and throwing them, as well as his as shirt onto the bank. “You don’t have to do that either. It’s just fun.”
“It’s cold.”
“You get used to it.” Ryan grinned and turned back to wade into the water, diving underneath it. When he came back up for air, he saw Brendon mumbling to himself and touching a toe into the water, shivering in his boxers and undershirt. “Don’t test the water. Just come on in.”
Brendon shook his head, stepping back. Ryan sighed and swam back to the bank. He took Brendon’s hand, leading the male into the water quickly. He could tell Brendon was about to hurry back to shore, so Ryan grabbed him by his shoulders, pushing down on them so he went under the water.
“H-hey! That’s not f-funny!” Brendon sputtered once he resurfaced, splashing water at the laughing Ryan.
“But it was fun.”
“No it wasn’t! Now, let’s get out of here.”
“I thought this was my party.”
Brendon huffed, splashing more water. “I’m cold.”
“Maybe if you actually swam around you’d warm up some.”
“Fine.”
--
“I hope you don’t catch a cold or anything. You were in that water forever.”
Ryan shrugged, smiling at Brendon as he prepared to go into Spencer and Jon’s house. “I just hope you don’t get one. I don’t think you’re used to cold water.”
Brendon shrugged as well, watching Ryan step into the house. “I miss having you at the office, Ryan. My new secretary… well, let’s just say she’s not pleasant.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m really happy here. I can’t go back to New York,” Ryan replied, watching Brendon carefully.
“That’s okay… I understand. I’ll call you later, though?”
Ryan was about to shut the door when he stopped. “Uhm… what?”
“I’ll call you later?”
“What?”
“Do you not have a phone? I said I’ll call you later. Is that all right?”
Ryan furrowed his eyebrows together. “Uhm… why do you want to call me?”
“Just because you’re not my client anymore, doesn’t mean we’re going to stop contact each other.”
“Oh… okay.”
“Can I have your phone number?”
Ryan bit his lip, nodding. “Well… I’m using my friend’s number… I don’t have a cell phone.”
“That’s okay,” Brendon said with a grin, pulling a cell phone out of his pocket.
Ryan told him the number, licking his lips. “So… uhm… Night, then.”
“Good night.”
--
“Good morning, Ryan.”
“Uhm…what?” Ryan leaned against the doorframe, watching the male who stood outside of the door.
“I said good morning.”
“Good morning?”
“Want to go to the city? New York city?”
Ryan blinked, shaking his head. “New York? I have to work today.”
“Can’t you call in sick?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry for waking you up then. Bye.”
He watched Brendon walk towards his limo, yawning. Once the car was gone, he shut the door, turning to go back up the stairs. When Ryan was woken up at 3:24 in the morning, there was no way he was going to stay up.
--
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye, Brendon.” Ryan hung up the phone after a rather lengthy conversation with Brendon, falling back on his mattress. Phone calls with Brendon were becoming more and more frequent, happening every night instead of the once a week thing they had been doing. They talked about anything and everything, nothing ever too private. The most private thing Ryan had told Brendon was who he lost his virginity to, which he really didn’t think was that private.
Everyone in his school had known it, anyway.
“RYAN! THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!”
Ryan groaned, lazily pulling himself up from the bed. He left the room, stomping down the stairs. “Spencer, I was just about to go to-Oh, hi Brendon.”
Brendon waved at him merrily from the doorway. “I know I said good night and all, but I figured we could… go out for dinner?”
“Uhm… now?”
“Now.”
“He’d love to!”
“Spencer-“
“Just let me go get him all dressed. He’ll be down in twenty.”
Ryan elbowed Spencer in the ribs as he was pushed up the stairs, rambling on and on about how he had work tomorrow and how he was tired.
“C’mon, man!” Spencer said once they were in the room now called Ryan’s, starting to shift through his clothes. “This is your former boss, the one you’ve been in love with forever! And he’s practically taking you out on a date.”
“He’s married.”
“Doesn’t seem like he cares.”
Ryan sighed, throwing on the suit Spencer had given to him. “Spencer, I gave up on him when I quit. I’m never going to get together with him. He told me himself. He doesn’t have feelings for me.”
“Who cares? You’re going to go out, have a nice time, and maybe get laid.”
“Spencer!”
“What? You need it!”
Ryan groaned, letting Spencer push him around for the next ten minutes, fixing his hair and things like that.
“Now, go get him, tiger!”
“You’re really, really lame.”
“Tell it to someone who cares.”
He sighed, trudging down the stairs, biting his lip. Brendon grinned up at him, holding the door open so Ryan could step out. “You look great”
“Thanks… uhm… you too.”
--
“Mmm. Good morning, Ryan.”
Ryan jumped, looking around wildly. Sitting up, he was surprised to find himself inside a fancy hotel suite. He turned his head towards Brendon, seeing the male sitting up as well, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s shoulder. His bare shoulder. Looking down, Ryan saw that both of them were naked, and he quickly pulled the sheet up over his lap.
“Last night was fun,” Brendon mumbled against his skin, his mouth moving up to suck on Ryan’s Adam’s apple. “How about we try for round four?”
“Round four?”
“Yeah. Three rounds last night, ‘member?”
Ryan froze, the details from last night flooding into his mind. “Oh, God. Oh, God, God, God.”
“I thought you were Atheist?” Brendon said, starting to nibble on Ryan’s earlobe.
“No… I mean… yes! But… you’re married.”
“So?”
Ryan shivered as Brendon ran a hand down his chest, slowly starting to push him back down. “No, this is wrong.”
“Didn’t seem so wrong last night.”
He pushed Brendon away, scrambling out of the bed and searching for his boxers. He quickly pulled them on, his body shaking. “You’re just using me. You don’t care about me. All I am is a stupid fuck.”
“Oh, come on, Ryan. You’re not stupid You’re sexy.”
Ryan felt the tears running down his cheeks, biting his quivering lip as he started to pull his clothes on. “I… I can’t believe you. I thought I meant something to you.”
“Ryan, don’t be like that. You should’ve known that this wasn’t anything serious,” Brendon stood, starting to walk towards Ryan.
“Don’t… Just don’t ever call me again. I… go find someone else to fuck. I don’t want to have anything to do with you,” Ryan didn’t look at Brendon as he ran out of the suite, hurrying out of the hotel. He didn’t know how he was going to get home, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted to get away from here.
--
“Hey, sexy.”
“Uhm, hey… what’s your name again?”
“Gabe.”
“Right. Gabe.”
“You don’t remember last night at all, do you?”
“…No.”
“That’s okay.”
Ryan felt a pair of unfamiliar lips pressing against his, but he let them. “How much did I drink last night?”
“No clue.”
“Okay.”
Ryan scrambled out of the bed, rushing for what he was sure was the bathroom. He lifted up the lid of the toilet, emptying out his stomach into the bowl. He repeated the process a few more times before he was able to stand up, washing his mouth out with water from the sink. Ryan sighed, moving back into the bedroom.
“First time drinker?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Okay.”
--
“G’Afternoon, Ry.”
“Good afternoon, Spencer, Jon.” Ryan passed the living room and went right on upstairs, watching as Hobo and Shotgun followed him. This was the fourteenth time in three weeks he’d spent the night at Gabe’s, the male immediately becoming his new friend with benefits.
Actually, all they did was drink, do lines of coke, and fuck. He knew how it started, of course. He’d gone straight to a bar after leaving the hotel and Brendon, and gotten completely hammered. There, he’d met Gabe and went back to his apartment. Ever since, Ryan had been going back, glad to have forgotten all about Brendon.
He sat himself down on his bed, wiping at his nose. It still itched from the lines of cocaine he’d done with Gabe, and he shuddered slightly. Ryan jumped when the phone on his bedside table rang, and he hastily reached for it, trying to avoid hitting Shotgun, who was in his lap, and Hobo, who was lying on one of his arms.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
Ryan’s eyes were the size of saucers when he recognized the voice. “Bye.”
“No, Ryan, don’t hang up!”
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“But I do.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care about you, and I don’t care about me.”
“Ryan, I’m on my way from the city.”
“Too bad. ‘Cause I’m not gonna be here.”
“Where are you going to be then?”
“The place where you aren’t.”
“Wait. What?”
“Bye.”
He hit the off button and flung the phone to the side. Shotgun and Hobo scattered as he stood up suddenly, a frown on his face. Ryan pulled a coat onto his shoulders and went back down the stairs.
“I’m going to Gabe’s,” he said to Spencer and Jon, glancing at the couple making out heavily on the couch.
“Mhm.”
Ryan rolled his eyes and walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. He shoved his hands into his pockets, opening the door to the crap-ass car he’d bought after moving to New Jersey. He drove away from the house, speeding towards Gabe’s 100 bucks a month apartment.
“Hey, Ry. Back so soon?”
“Have any more coke left?”
“Duh. Are you just letting me fuck you to get drugs?”
“Want money?”
“Nah, you’re good enough.” Gabe grinned, grabbing Ryan by the back of his neck and connecting their lips. “I was just about to do some lines anyway.”
“Drug addict,” Ryan mumbled, his knees digging into the rough carpet as he leaned over the table, staring at the white, powdery lines in front of him.
Gabe snorted, collapsing onto the carpet next to him. “You call me a drug addict?” he asked as Ryan started to inhale the lines through his nostril.
Ryan shrugged, shaking his head and letting his eyes fall shut, enjoying the tingling in his nose. “Oh just shut up and fuck me, Gabriel.”
“Sorry, I’m too tired.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, attaching his lips to Gabe’s neck as the male snorted up three lines. Eventually, their clothes came off, and Gabe fucked Ryan into the dirty, grimy carpet.
It was hours later when they had finally come down from their high, bodies entangled together on the floor.
“Hey, Gabe?”
“What?”
“Where you from again?”
“Uruguay.”
“Sweet. Say something in Spanish, or whatever you speak.”
“Uhm… Pienso que para arriba nos cogen bastante.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I think we’re pretty fucked up.”
Ryan laughed, nodding his head. “You are so right, Gabe Saporta. And sexy.”
“Thank you, I know.”
--
“Hey, Ryan!”
“Oh my fucking God. Are you my fucking stalker or something?” Ryan pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, turning away from his car that he had been about to get into.
“No…” Brendon said, and Ryan could tell he was watching the gray, wispy smoke flowing from the end of his cancer stick, swirling around in circles into the air before vanishing.
“Whatever. I have to go to work,” Ryan replied, taking one last drag from the tobacco before throwing it onto the ground, using the tip of his shoe to put it out.
“You smoke?”
“Yeah, and I drink, and I fuck, and I do drugs. Got a problem with it?”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed, watching Brendon take a step closer to him in his Armani suit, fumbling with his tie. “What happened to you, Ryan?”
“You did, Brendon Urie. You happened.” Ryan climbed into his car, slamming the door shut. He pulled away from the house, leaving Brendon standing on the concrete driveway, staring longingly after him.
--
“Good night, Gabe.” Ryan kissed Gabe’s cheek, waving at the male before walking away from the apartment. It had been five months since he’d been going to Gabe’s, practically dating the male. It had been five months since he started doing cocaine and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol.
If Ryan didn’t know any better, he would think that he was pretty damn fucked up.
When he stepped into the house, he was surprised to see Spencer and Jon sitting on the bottom steps of the stairs, staring at the door.
“Uhm… hey?”
“Ryan,” Jon started, standing up and walking towards Ryan as he shut the door. “You have a problem.”
Ryan snorted, trying to walk up the stairs. Spencer stopped him, blocking the way.
“I’m worried about you. We’re worried about you.”
“Whatever. I’m going to bed.”
Spencer shook his head. “Shouldn’t you have been in bed oh… eight hours ago? It’s seven in the morning, Ryan.”
“Really? I thought it was only one.”
“You’re fucked up. Look at you! You’re so obviously doing drugs,” Jon said, standing behind Ryan so that he couldn’t run away from them. “I’m surprised you’re still going to work.”
“I’m not on drugs, you idiots. I’m simply hanging out with a friend.”
“You mean your fuck buddy?”
“Exactly, now let me get some sleep!”
Spencer sighed. “If you’re going to keep taking drugs and coming home at ridiculous times, then you either have to move out, or go to rehab.”
“Why the hell would I want to go to rehab?”
“To get better!” Jon piped in. “We’ve all ready signed you up, and when you were drunk, we got you to sign your signature on the consent form. You’re all packed and everything.”
“I can’t fucking believe you guys.”
“Ryan, if you don’t go, you’re not staying here, and you don’t have enough money to rent an apartment.”
“I’ll live with Gabe.”
“No, way, you’ll die there.”
Ryan tried to push his way past the barrier that was Spencer’s arms, but was grabbed by his shoulders by Jon.
“Exactly. Now come on, you’re going to the rehab center today.”
“Today?”
“Today.”
--
“Can I go now?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks.”
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson and will stay away from cocaine, right?”
“Of course.” Ryan smiled at the clerk behind the desk, grabbing his bag and starting to walk out of the building. Jon and Spencer were supposed to be waiting with the car for him, but he couldn’t see any running cars in site.
He sighed, shaking his head as he sat on the curb. Maybe they’d given up on him eight months ago when he was checked into rehab. Actually, that couldn’t be true. After all, every chance there was to visit, they’d come to see him. And they promised him that they would come pick him up. Since they were first friends, Spencer had never broken a promise to him, and Ryan believed it was that way to this day.
“Hi, Ryan.”
His head snapped up, staring at his former boss. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in Jersey for some business, and your friends got busy. Literally. So they asked me to come pick you up.”
“I don’t believe this,” Ryan mumbled, playing with a pebble in the crack of the sidewalk.
“Well you better,” Brendon replied, sitting beside him on the concrete, even in his trademark Armani suit. “Ryan… what happened to the Ryan I knew?”
Ryan shook his head, standing up. He started to walk away, bag in tow before he stopped. He turned, looking back at Brendon.
“You killed him.”
--
“Good morning, Spencer,” Ryan said with a smile, sitting down on the couch next to Spencer.
“Gabe called.”
“Did he?”
“Yeah.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That maybe you two shouldn’t see each other for a while.”
Ryan nodded his head, resting it on Spencer’s shoulder. “Oh, okay.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“You know what, Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve missed you. This you.”
“I’ve missed me too.”
--
“Good afternoon, Mr. Ross.”
“Good afternoon.”
“If you would just wait right over there, Mr. Urie will be finished with his meeting in a few minutes.”
Ryan nodded, thanking the secretary that sat at his old desk. He moved over to a sitting area off to the side, his leg bouncing up and down nervously. A hand moved up, fixing the tie he’d put around his neck. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was doing back here. He only knew that Spencer and Jon had somehow managed to talk him into trying to get a new job.
Of course, this was the only job they wanted Ryan to work on getting.
“Mr. Ross, you may go in now.”
Ryan looked up and nodded, quickly standing up. However, he hesitated in front of the office door, chewing nervously on his lip. Slowly, he opened the door, stepping in.
“Ryan?”
He looked up at Brendon, nodding. “Yeah…”
“Uhm., what are you doing here?”
Ryan shrugged his shoulders, moving forward and sitting in the chair in front of Brendon’s desk. “I came to ask for a job. Any job.”
“What?”
“A job… I need a job.”
“Oh. What kind of job?”
“Whatever you have for me.”
“Secretary?”
“Sure.”
“It’s settled then. Come in next Monday at the usual time. I’m sure you know the drill.”
Ryan stood up, nodding. “Thank you, Mr. Urie,” he mumbled, shaking hands with Brendon.
“You’re welcome… Mr. Ross.”
--
“Hello, Ryan. Good morning.”
“Good morning, Mr. Urie,” Ryan replied, looking up at Brendon. “Here’s your coffee.”
“Thank you,” Brendon said, taking the cup Ryan passed to him. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s nice to be back.”
“Good.”
Ryan watched his boss walk into his office, letting out a sigh. He turned to his computer, getting ready to start working once more when he heard Brendon call out his name. He stood up, walking into the room right behind him.
“Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Shut the door, please. Then, come here.”
He nodded his head and shut the door, moving forward so he was standing in front of Brendon’s desk.
“No, I mean here.”
Ryan furrowed his eyebrows but walked around the desk, finding himself right beside Brendon’s chair.
“Sit.”
“Uhm-“ He looked down, seeing Brendon patting his lap.
“Sit, please.”
Ryan slowly nodded, carefully seating himself on the edge of Brendon’s legs. He could hear Brendon chuckle, wrap his arms around his waist and pull him up.
“You know… ever since you’ve started working here, and I mean started, I’ve wanted to fuck you in my office,” Brendon whispered into his ear, licking the shell of it. Ryan shuddered, letting his eyes fall shut. “What do you say about that?”
He bit the inside of his cheeks, swallowing hard. After that whole incident with him so long ago, he’d sworn he wouldn’t do anything like this. Especially with him. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
Ryan found himself practically thrown onto the desk, everything on it having been thrown off rather violently.
“You know I don’t like the word no,” Brendon hissed, flipping Ryan over onto his stomach. “Now… what do you have to say about that?”
“I meant… yes.”
Brendon laughed, sitting back down and pulling Ryan back into his lap. “Good. Let’s get naked.”
Ryan shuddered as Brendon attached their lips, his hands starting to fumble with Ryan’s belt. Thankfully, fortunately, the phone outside of the door started to ring, and Ryan stumbled out of Brendon’s lap.
“Just ignore it,” Brendon said with a groan, watching Ryan leave the room.
Ryan didn’t go back into the office for the rest of the day.
--
“Here’s your lunch, Mr. Urie,” Ryan mumbled, setting the Styrofoam box in front of Brendon, keeping his eyes down.
“Thank you, Ryan. Can you close the door and stay in here for a moment? I need to-uh-speak with you.”
Ryan frowned slightly, all ready starting to back out of the office. “Sorry, sir. I’m on my lunch break right now.”
--
Ryan was fired the next day.
--
( Part II
Author: xstockpiledmmrs
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie ; Ryan Ross/Gabe Saporta ; Ryan Ross/Keltie Colleen
POV: Third, Ryan-centric
Words: ~10,000
Disclaimer: Not true, and will never be true. The title and the lyrics belong to the song One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later), by Bob Dylan
Summary: But, sooner or later, one of us must know. You just did what you’re supposed to do. Sooner or later, one of us must know, that I really did try to get close to you.
Author's Notes: Uhm. This just kind of… happened over a course of 3 or 4 days? I just was really intent on making this perfect and nice, and… well, I doubt it is. But I hope you like it. <33
“Good night, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.” Ryan smiled as he looked up, watching his boss walk out of his office.
“Don’t stay up here too late, all right?”
Ryan nodded, his gaze following the shorter, younger male all the way down the hall, then into the elevators. When the doors shut with a ping, he let out the breath he had been holding without realizing it. He turned his eyes to the bright screen of his computer, letting out a soft sigh.
Two years, eight months, three weeks, five days, six hours, twenty-nine minutes, and 51 seconds had been how long Ryan had been working as a secretary for Urie Industries.
Two years, eight months, three weeks, five days, five hours, forty-two minutes and nineteen seconds had been how long Ryan had been in love with his boss, Brendon Urie.
It was a cruel, cruel world.
--
”Good morning, Ryan.”
“Good morning, Mr. Urie. You have a meeting with Jonathon Walker today at three, and a lunch date with Pete Wentz.” Ryan stood up, handing a folder full of papers and such to his boss, who smiled at him.
“Thank you, Ryan. You didn’t stay here too late, did you?”
“Of course not, Mr. Urie. Only ‘til eleven thirty this time.” Ryan licked his lips, fidgeting slightly. “Just like you said.”
“Good. I can’t have you falling asleep on the job, can I?” Mr. Urie laughed, causing Ryan to smile as he opened the door to his office and stepping in. It was always tough not to smile when Mr. Urie laughed, or just smiled, because the feeling of happiness was just so contagious. As much as he tried not to, Ryan loved it.
Ryan moved away from his desk, out towards the elevator. As soon as Mr. Urie had come in for the morning, he went out to the Starbucks across the street and got him his morning coffees. Honestly, it didn’t bother him; he was fully willing to do anything for Mr. Urie. It was his job, anyway.
He hurried past the busy street and into the just as busy coffee shop, waiting in line. Ryan secretly wished that he could just order the coffee from the office building, seeing as it was a lot easier, but Mr. Urie had to have his Starbucks. Nothing else.
“Here you are, Mr. Urie,” Ryan set the plastic carton holding the four coffees on the desk in his boss’ office, glancing up at him.
“Thank you, Ryan,” he said, all ready grabbing for one of the cups. His finger’s brushed Ryan’s as the male was pulling away, and Ryan’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Mr. Urie took no notice. “Could you please call Travis McCoy for me and cancel that meeting we were going to have next Tuesday? I have somewhere else to be.”
“Leaving for the holidays?” Ryan asked, clasping his hands in front of him.
“Nope. It’s my nephew’s birthday party. I think my sister would just about die if I didn’t make it.” Mr. Urie chuckled. “You wouldn’t happen to no what to get a four year old boy, would you?”
Ryan bit his lip, shrugging. “Uhm… He might like cars or dinosaurs… or something?”
“Good idea. Thank you, Ryan.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Urie.” Ryan backed out of the room, shutting the door as he left.
That was a typical morning.
--
“Good afternoon, Mr. Urie.” Ryan stepped into the office, casting a glance at the male sitting across from Mr. Urie, looking over his appearance.
“What can I do for you, Ryan?”
“It’s lunchtime, Mr. Urie. What would you and Mr. Wentz like to order for lunch?” Ryan asked, setting the tip of his pen to the pad of paper he was holding.
“Oh… Pete, what are in the mood for?” Mr. Urie looked over at Mr. Wentz, raising his eyebrows.
Mr. Wentz grinned, eyeing Ryan. “Is your secretary on the menu?”
Ryan flushed, casting his gaze down, listening to Mr. Urie chuckle. “Sorry, Pete, Ryan’s not on it. But, you know, there is a Cesar salad on the menu, which probably isn’t as tasty, but still good enough.”
“Well, if that’s the best you’ve got, than sure.”
“I’ll just have what I usually get, Ryan. Thank you.”
Ryan nodded his head, scribbling their orders down and leaving the room, not once looking back up. Even when he returned with the two lunches, he didn’t make eye contact with either of the men, too embarrassed to do much else.
--
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.”
“Good night. And Ryan?”
“Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Please, call me Brendon.”
“If you wish, Mr. Urie.”
“Ryan.”
He looked up and away from his computer screen, chewing on his lip. “Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“I really wish you would call me Brendon.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Urie-Brendon.”
Mr. Urie smiled at him, sitting on the edge of Ryan’s desk and watching him. Ryan was all ready turned back to his computer, tapping away at the keys. “You know, Ryan, I don’t know anything about you, besides your age and last name.”
“There’s not much else to know, sir.”
“Tell me something interesting about you.”
Ryan slowly moved his gaze to Mr.- Brendon. “Uhm… I have two dogs?”
“Really? What are their names?” Brendon asked, reaching a hand out to press a button on Ryan’s monitor, turning off the screen.
“Hobo and Shotgun,” Ryan replied, nodding his head slightly.
Brendon chuckled. “Those are really unique names.”
“I guess you could say that.” Ryan shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Anything else?”
“Oh, uhm… I like music?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“I mean… I like to play music,” Ryan corrected, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so? What instrument do you play?”
“Nothing special.”
“Well, tell me anyway.”
Ryan shrugged. “Guitar, keyboard, piano, organ, accordion, banjo, and a few other things.”
“Wow. The banjo?”
Ryan nodded his head timidly. “Y-yeah. I don’t really know why. I just… did.”
“No, no. That’s cool. I mean, all of those instruments? That’s a lot. Which one’s your favorite?”
“Guitar.”
“What kind do you have?”
“Uhm… I’m not sure. I have three of them, I know that. Two are electric, and one’s acoustic.”
Brendon nodded. “Are you in a band?”
“No.”
Ryan watched as Brendon started to stand up. “Ryan, why don’t you leave the office early for once? I’m sure you must be tired.”
“I have work to do though, sir.”
“That’s all right, I don’t mind.” Brendon walked behind Ryan’s desk, pushing Ryan’s chair away so he could have access to the keyboard of the computer. “Just let me shut down your computer for you.”
“Sir, I have a document on there that-“
“Don’t worry, it’s saved.” Brendon stood up after he had turned off Ryan’s computer, grinning down at the male still in the chair. “Now, come on. I just happen to know that you walk here, so I’ll give you a ride home.”
“You don’t have-“
“But I want to.”
Ryan sighed and nodded, standing up and pushing his chair into the desk. He collected some of his things and shoved them into a bag that he carried around, looking up at Brendon before he shut off his desk light. “Okay… I’m ready.”
“Good, let’s go.”
The two walked out of the office building together, jaywalked across the street to Brendon’s fancy car, and settled themselves in the seats. Ryan was practically against the door in the passenger side, trying to keep his distance from Brendon. He wanted, -oh did he want it- to be close to Brendon, but he just couldn’t. The man was married.
Oh right.
Did Ryan ever fail to think about how Brendon was married to a blonde girl, who was absolutely perfect? At least, he thought, they don’t have any kids.
“Ryan?”
He turned his head away from the window, looking at Brendon. “Yes, sir?”
“What street do you live on?”
“Oh… 37th. Number 40,” Ryan replied, moving his gaze back to watching houses and lights pass by.
The rest of the car ride went on in silence, besides their breathing, and Ryan felt uncomfortable throughout the whole thing. When they reached his house, or more like townhouse, Ryan quickly opened the door, stepping out. He started to say ‘thank you’, until Brendon was also getting out of the car.
Blinking, Ryan walked around the car and across the street to the steps of his house. He walked up the few steps carefully, noting that they were still icy and slippery. At his doormat, he could hear Brendon struggling on the steps behind him, and he turned, looking at him.
“Just wanted to make sure you got home safely.”
“Thank you,” Ryan replied, pushing his key into the lock, turning it. “That’s really kind of you.”
Brendon shrugged with a lazy smile, watching Ryan. Ryan himself watched as Brendon’s gaze traveled up to the overhang that covered the doorway. “You hang up mistletoe?”
“Just to get into the spirit,” Ryan replied, opening his door and starting to step in. Brendon’s hand grabbed his arm, however, stopping him.
“Don’t you know the story of mistletoe?”
Ryan shook his head, turning to look at Brendon. “Not really.”
“Whenever two people are underneath it, they kiss.”
“O-oh. I didn’t know.”
“That’s okay.”
His body started to shake as Brendon leaned in towards him, eyes staring into his. Slowly, softly, their lips met in a kiss. Ryan’s knees were about to give in, and thankfully, Brendon wrapped an arm around Ryan’s waist, keeping him steady. The kiss wasn’t forced, or rough. It was sweet and simple, and it was just about killing Ryan on the inside.
After almost a minute, Brendon pulled away slightly, smiling against Ryan’s lips. “Good night, Ryan.”
“G-good night, Mr. U-Urie,” Ryan stuttered out, watching as Brendon moved away and started down his steps. He was long gone in a few moments, but Ryan stood there for almost five minutes, simply staring at the spot where Brendon had been standing.
“Oh my fucking God,” he mumbled, going through the door and shutting it behind him.
--
Brendon came out of the elevators, walking towards Ryan with a smile on his face.
“Good morning, Mr. Urie.”
“Ryan, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Brendon?”
“At least a hundred more, Mr. Urie.”
Ryan watched Brendon chuckle and move into his office, thought not before sending him a barely noticeable wink. He could’ve just about melted right then and there, but he managed to keep his composure. He swiveled back around to face his computer, swallowing hard. After last night, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act around his boss now.
“Ryan?”
He turned his head when he heard Brendon’s voice coming from the room behind him, and he stood up quickly. Ryan grabbed the notepad, just in case, and scurried into the office.
“Shut the door please, Ryan.”
Nodding, Ryan shut the door, chewing on his lip.
“I need some Christmas shopping done, so I was wondering if you could go ahead and do that for me?”
“Of course.”
“Good, good. So, here’s a list of the thing’s to buy, and of course you know the credit card to use.”
“Of course,” Ryan replied, moving forward to grab the slip of paper.
“Oh, and add one thing to the list, will you?”
Ryan nodded, looking up at Brendon. “My sister has a nephew, and he wants to play the guitar. Would you go down to the music store and buy the guitar you think is nicest? Don’t worry about the price. I’d do anything for that guy.”
“Of course, Mr. Urie.”
“Thank you, Ryan.”
He turned to leave the office when he heard his name called again. “Yes, Mr. Urie?”
Ryan watched as Brendon stood up, walking around his desk and sitting on the edge of it. “Sit down, Ryan,” Brendon said, pointing to one of the chairs in front of him. He nodded and did so, blinking up at his boss.
“You know… about last night…” Brendon sighed, tapping his fingers against the wood of his desk. “That shouldn’t have happened. I hope you know that.”
Ryan nodded his head slowly, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. “Of course.”
“I’m sorry for instigating that. It was obviously wrong, and I shouldn’t have led you on or anything, because I certainly don’t have those kinds of feelings for you.”
“Oh… you… you never did.”
“Good. Now that that’s settled, you may go.”
He stood up, biting his quivering lip and almost running out of the office. He dropped his notepad and the list onto his desk, grabbing the edge of it. Ryan sniffled, blinking back the tears in his eyes. He quickly grabbed a tissue out of the tissue box, dabbing underneath his eyes. He didn’t have the time to run off to the bathroom and cry like he wanted to, and oh, did he want to.
Ryan let out a quiet sob, quickly slamming a hand over his mouth. He just couldn’t let Brendon hear that he was crying. After all, it wasn’t like he should have any feelings for him anymore, anyway. There was no point in it.
“Ryan?”
Oh, great.
He quickly fanned at his face with his hands, trying to calm himself down. He walked back into Brendon’s office, a hand behind his back with his index and middle fingers crossed in hopes that his eyes weren’t red. “Y-yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Can you get me a bagel?”
“Of course, Mr. Urie.”
“Thank you, Ryan.”
“Anything for you, Mr. Urie.”
--
“Good night, Ryan.”
“Good night, Mr. Urie.”
“You’re leaving early.”
Ryan turned his head, looking at Brendon as he was pulling his coat on. “It’s Christmas Eve, Mr. Urie. I’m going to go visit my family for Christmas.”
“Aren’t you even going to say Merry Christmas?”
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Urie.”
“Merry Christmas, Ryan.”
Ryan forced a smile at the male before turning and grabbing a file off of his desk. “By the way, here are my resignation papers.”
“You’re what?”
“I got a job in New Jersey. I’m moving.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“I’m not happy here.” Ryan simply shrugged, sending another small smile at Brendon. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Urie. It was a pleasure working for you.” He wrapped a scarf around his neck and grabbed a box full of all of his stuff, starting towards the elevator.
“Ryan, are you quitting because of me?”
Ryan turned inside of the elevator, facing Brendon. Just as the doors were shutting, and Brendon was about to be blocked out of his life forever, he nodded.
--
Spencer looked up to see Ryan, waving slightly with the spoon from his cereal, “Hey, Ry.”
“Good morning, Spencer.” Ryan smiled at his friend, sitting across the table from him. “Thank you so much for letting me stay here with you and Jon until I get up on my feet.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem. You know we’d do anything for you.”
Ryan nodded, stealing Spencer’s coffee cup and taking a quick sip. “I’m really starting to like New Jersey. New York wasn’t as nice and quaint.”
“Probably because you couldn’t steal my coffee when you were in New York,” Spencer retorted playfully, grabbing his cup back. “Why’d you come here again, anyway?”
“Oh, you know… I wasn’t making as much as I wanted to.”
“Greedy.”
“Am not!”
“You were making over $80,000 working for that company! And you were just a secretary,” Spencer said, flicking Ryan’s head. “You can’t get any better than that.”
Ryan shrugged, licking his lips. “I have my reasons.”
“In love with your boss?”
“How’d you know?” Ryan asked, his jaw dropping.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Ryan, we’ve been friends forever. Remember how we both wanted to lose our virginity, but we didn’t want to lose it to someone who didn’t care about us, so we just did each other?”
Ryan nodded his head slowly.
“It’s like that… we have a bond now.”
“I think you’re on crack.” Ryan laughed, head shaking. “Seriously. You are. We so do not have a bond.”
“We so do. Don’t deny it.”
--
“Uhm… Ryan? There’s someone here to see you.”
Yawning, Ryan sat up in the guest bed he was in, rubbing at his eyes. “Who’d be here to see me?”
Jon shrugged, pulling back the sheets on the bed. “Who cares? He looks pretty sexy. And he has an Armani suit. So, let’s get you all prettied up. You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Jon. Thanks a lot.” Ryan rolled his eyes and slipped out of the bed, letting Jon pick out his clothes.
“Go brush your teeth and your hair real quick. And put on some eyeliner.”
“I am not putting on eyeliner.”
“But he’s sexy.”
“Jon-“
“Do it!”
“Jon-”
Ryan let out a yell as Jon tackled him to the bed, all ready holding a stick of eyeliner. He pushed Jon away, shaking his head. “I am not wearing eyeliner, okay?”
“But it’s a sexy guy for you!”
He shook his head, pulling on his clothes. Ryan simply left the room and walked down the stairs, brushing a hand through his hair. He stopped when he was halfway down the stairs, seeing Brendon standing there, looking impatient.
“Hey, Ryan.”
“Uhm… Hi Mr. Urie.” He made his way down the last few steps, biting nervously on his lower lip.
“Ryan, I’m not your boss anymore. I was hoping that at least now you could call me Brendon.”
Ryan nodded his head slowly. “Oh, okay. What, not to seem rude or anything, but… What are you doing here?”
“Well, you left without any warning, really, so I never got to throw you a going away party!” Brendon said, smiling warmly at Ryan. “I figured I might as well make it up to you right now.”
“Uhm… I don’t know…”
“C’mon, please?”
“Yeah, Ry, please?”
Ryan turned, looking up at Spencer and Jon, who were both hanging over the railing of the second floor, staring down at the doorway. “You guys just want me out of here so you have the house to yourselves.”
“What can I say? Spencer’s a fox… Well, he’s more like a lion in bed, but you can join us and see how it’s-“
“I’ll go,” Ryan said quickly, turning back to face Brendon. “Just… let me finish getting ready and everything.”
“Oh, no problem,” Brendon replied, nodding his head.
Ryan nodded as well, turning and hurrying up the stairs. Before he went into the guest bedroom, he made sure to whack both Spencer and Jon across the back of the head. Jon thought this was an invitation to help him get ready, so he left Spencer to follow Ryan into the bedroom.
“All right. Those clothes will definitely not do. And your hair! It’s-“
“You’re starting to act like Spencer.”
“Ryan, I’ve been acting like Spencer for three years. Get over it. Now, about that eyeliner.”
Ryan rolled his eyes and grabbed the clothes Jon gave him, stomping into the bathroom. He changed quickly, brushed his hair, and then his teeth. Honestly, he wasn’t looking for a chance to impress Brendon anymore. He knew that it would be pointless to try anyways, considering there was still the fact that Brendon had a wife, and he didn’t have any feelings for him.
“I guess you look pretty enough,” Jon commented as Ryan walked out, moving forward to fix the collar on his shirt.
“Jon, I really don’t care. I’m just getting out of this house so you and Spin can fuck.”
“Thank you. But you know, we were doing it while you were anyway.”
He shook his head, walking away from Jon. “That’s just gross,” he called before moving down the stairs. Brendon was still waiting there, rocking back and forth on his feet.
“Ready to go?”
“I guess so,” Ryan replied with a shrug, exiting the house and shutting the door behind him. Together, he and Brendon walked down the steps towards the street. He looked up, looking for Brendon’s car. “Are we walking?”
“Nah. Whenever I go out of state, I use my limo.”
Ryan’s eyes widened slightly, and he moved his eyes down the street to eye the black limousine. “A limo?”
“Yeah. Only the best for the best, right?”
“Uhm… yeah.”
Ryan watched as a man opened the back door of the limousine for them and Brendon let Ryan slip in first. Ryan was in awe as he stared around the inside of the limo, fingers brushing across the leather of the seats.
“Do you like it?”
Ryan nodded his head, turning to look at Brendon. “Y-yeah. Where are we going?”
Brendon shrugged. “Where do you want to go?”
“A lake… There’s a lake near here. Off of the highway,” Ryan said quickly, nodding his head. “There’s ducks there. I feed bread to them.”
Brendon chuckled and moved across the limo towards the front, pressing a button. A window in between the back area and the driver’s area went down. “That lake we passed. Go there?”
Soon, Brendon was sitting back beside him, grabbing a bottle of champagne from the mini bar area. “Want some?”
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t drink.”
“Champagne?”
“Any alcohol.”
“Oh, all right.”
Ryan found himself interested with all of the buttons, starting to press each one. Somewhere behind him, he could hear Brendon laughing softly at him, but he didn’t seem to mind. He pushed one of the buttons watching as the sunroof opened. His jaw dropped, and he moved forward. Slowly, Ryan raised a hand up through the hole in the roof, feeling the rush of air push his hand back against one of the edges.
“I can have Mark slow down, if you want. You can stick your head out,” Brendon said, and Ryan jumped. He hadn’t noticed Brendon move from his spot to be near him, his breath ghosting against the skin of his cheek.
“Oh… okay.”
Brendon smiled, brushing past Ryan to go towards the front again. “We’re just about at the lake anyway, so it’s all right to go ahead and get on up there.”
Ryan nodded and pulled himself up cautiously, a smile forming on his lips as the wind whipped through his hair. They weren’t on the highway anymore, but on a gravely road leading down to the lake he had mentioned. He stayed up there the rest of the drive, simply leaning against the roof and watching the scenery pass by.
“You going to come down anytime soon?” Brendon asked, and Ryan looked down, nodding his head as they came to a stop. He dropped down, brushing his now tangled hair out of his face. “Good, now come on.”
They slipped out of the limousine, and Ryan wished that he had some bread with him at the moment. There were dozens of ducks along the bank, and he grinned. He could feel Brendon watching him as he walked down towards the water, the ducks staying where they were. He slipped off his shoes and socks, starting to roll up his jeans.
“What are you doing?”
Ryan turned, looking at Brendon. “Uhm… trying to catch a duck?”
“Why?”
“It’s fun. Want to try?” He watched as Brendon looked down at his Armani suit, shrugging.
“Well…”
“Okay. You don’t have to.” Ryan smiled at him slightly before he started to wade into the water, moving quietly towards the ducks.
“You’re going to get wet.”
“That’s okay.”
“You’re crazy.”
“That’s okay.” Ryan dove for a duck, watching as it flew away and he fell into the water. Surfacing, he laughed, shaking damp hair out of his face.
“Okay. I take that back. You’re insane.”
Ryan shrugged, standing up and looking around. “I scared all of the ducks away.”
“Obviously.”
He nodded his head and moved back towards the bank, starting to tug off his shirt.
“Now what are you doing?”
“Swimming.”
“Why?”
“I like swimming,” Ryan replied, pulling his pants off and throwing them, as well as his as shirt onto the bank. “You don’t have to do that either. It’s just fun.”
“It’s cold.”
“You get used to it.” Ryan grinned and turned back to wade into the water, diving underneath it. When he came back up for air, he saw Brendon mumbling to himself and touching a toe into the water, shivering in his boxers and undershirt. “Don’t test the water. Just come on in.”
Brendon shook his head, stepping back. Ryan sighed and swam back to the bank. He took Brendon’s hand, leading the male into the water quickly. He could tell Brendon was about to hurry back to shore, so Ryan grabbed him by his shoulders, pushing down on them so he went under the water.
“H-hey! That’s not f-funny!” Brendon sputtered once he resurfaced, splashing water at the laughing Ryan.
“But it was fun.”
“No it wasn’t! Now, let’s get out of here.”
“I thought this was my party.”
Brendon huffed, splashing more water. “I’m cold.”
“Maybe if you actually swam around you’d warm up some.”
“Fine.”
--
“I hope you don’t catch a cold or anything. You were in that water forever.”
Ryan shrugged, smiling at Brendon as he prepared to go into Spencer and Jon’s house. “I just hope you don’t get one. I don’t think you’re used to cold water.”
Brendon shrugged as well, watching Ryan step into the house. “I miss having you at the office, Ryan. My new secretary… well, let’s just say she’s not pleasant.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m really happy here. I can’t go back to New York,” Ryan replied, watching Brendon carefully.
“That’s okay… I understand. I’ll call you later, though?”
Ryan was about to shut the door when he stopped. “Uhm… what?”
“I’ll call you later?”
“What?”
“Do you not have a phone? I said I’ll call you later. Is that all right?”
Ryan furrowed his eyebrows together. “Uhm… why do you want to call me?”
“Just because you’re not my client anymore, doesn’t mean we’re going to stop contact each other.”
“Oh… okay.”
“Can I have your phone number?”
Ryan bit his lip, nodding. “Well… I’m using my friend’s number… I don’t have a cell phone.”
“That’s okay,” Brendon said with a grin, pulling a cell phone out of his pocket.
Ryan told him the number, licking his lips. “So… uhm… Night, then.”
“Good night.”
--
“Good morning, Ryan.”
“Uhm…what?” Ryan leaned against the doorframe, watching the male who stood outside of the door.
“I said good morning.”
“Good morning?”
“Want to go to the city? New York city?”
Ryan blinked, shaking his head. “New York? I have to work today.”
“Can’t you call in sick?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry for waking you up then. Bye.”
He watched Brendon walk towards his limo, yawning. Once the car was gone, he shut the door, turning to go back up the stairs. When Ryan was woken up at 3:24 in the morning, there was no way he was going to stay up.
--
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye, Brendon.” Ryan hung up the phone after a rather lengthy conversation with Brendon, falling back on his mattress. Phone calls with Brendon were becoming more and more frequent, happening every night instead of the once a week thing they had been doing. They talked about anything and everything, nothing ever too private. The most private thing Ryan had told Brendon was who he lost his virginity to, which he really didn’t think was that private.
Everyone in his school had known it, anyway.
“RYAN! THERE’S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!”
Ryan groaned, lazily pulling himself up from the bed. He left the room, stomping down the stairs. “Spencer, I was just about to go to-Oh, hi Brendon.”
Brendon waved at him merrily from the doorway. “I know I said good night and all, but I figured we could… go out for dinner?”
“Uhm… now?”
“Now.”
“He’d love to!”
“Spencer-“
“Just let me go get him all dressed. He’ll be down in twenty.”
Ryan elbowed Spencer in the ribs as he was pushed up the stairs, rambling on and on about how he had work tomorrow and how he was tired.
“C’mon, man!” Spencer said once they were in the room now called Ryan’s, starting to shift through his clothes. “This is your former boss, the one you’ve been in love with forever! And he’s practically taking you out on a date.”
“He’s married.”
“Doesn’t seem like he cares.”
Ryan sighed, throwing on the suit Spencer had given to him. “Spencer, I gave up on him when I quit. I’m never going to get together with him. He told me himself. He doesn’t have feelings for me.”
“Who cares? You’re going to go out, have a nice time, and maybe get laid.”
“Spencer!”
“What? You need it!”
Ryan groaned, letting Spencer push him around for the next ten minutes, fixing his hair and things like that.
“Now, go get him, tiger!”
“You’re really, really lame.”
“Tell it to someone who cares.”
He sighed, trudging down the stairs, biting his lip. Brendon grinned up at him, holding the door open so Ryan could step out. “You look great”
“Thanks… uhm… you too.”
--
“Mmm. Good morning, Ryan.”
Ryan jumped, looking around wildly. Sitting up, he was surprised to find himself inside a fancy hotel suite. He turned his head towards Brendon, seeing the male sitting up as well, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s shoulder. His bare shoulder. Looking down, Ryan saw that both of them were naked, and he quickly pulled the sheet up over his lap.
“Last night was fun,” Brendon mumbled against his skin, his mouth moving up to suck on Ryan’s Adam’s apple. “How about we try for round four?”
“Round four?”
“Yeah. Three rounds last night, ‘member?”
Ryan froze, the details from last night flooding into his mind. “Oh, God. Oh, God, God, God.”
“I thought you were Atheist?” Brendon said, starting to nibble on Ryan’s earlobe.
“No… I mean… yes! But… you’re married.”
“So?”
Ryan shivered as Brendon ran a hand down his chest, slowly starting to push him back down. “No, this is wrong.”
“Didn’t seem so wrong last night.”
He pushed Brendon away, scrambling out of the bed and searching for his boxers. He quickly pulled them on, his body shaking. “You’re just using me. You don’t care about me. All I am is a stupid fuck.”
“Oh, come on, Ryan. You’re not stupid You’re sexy.”
Ryan felt the tears running down his cheeks, biting his quivering lip as he started to pull his clothes on. “I… I can’t believe you. I thought I meant something to you.”
“Ryan, don’t be like that. You should’ve known that this wasn’t anything serious,” Brendon stood, starting to walk towards Ryan.
“Don’t… Just don’t ever call me again. I… go find someone else to fuck. I don’t want to have anything to do with you,” Ryan didn’t look at Brendon as he ran out of the suite, hurrying out of the hotel. He didn’t know how he was going to get home, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted to get away from here.
--
“Hey, sexy.”
“Uhm, hey… what’s your name again?”
“Gabe.”
“Right. Gabe.”
“You don’t remember last night at all, do you?”
“…No.”
“That’s okay.”
Ryan felt a pair of unfamiliar lips pressing against his, but he let them. “How much did I drink last night?”
“No clue.”
“Okay.”
Ryan scrambled out of the bed, rushing for what he was sure was the bathroom. He lifted up the lid of the toilet, emptying out his stomach into the bowl. He repeated the process a few more times before he was able to stand up, washing his mouth out with water from the sink. Ryan sighed, moving back into the bedroom.
“First time drinker?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Okay.”
--
“G’Afternoon, Ry.”
“Good afternoon, Spencer, Jon.” Ryan passed the living room and went right on upstairs, watching as Hobo and Shotgun followed him. This was the fourteenth time in three weeks he’d spent the night at Gabe’s, the male immediately becoming his new friend with benefits.
Actually, all they did was drink, do lines of coke, and fuck. He knew how it started, of course. He’d gone straight to a bar after leaving the hotel and Brendon, and gotten completely hammered. There, he’d met Gabe and went back to his apartment. Ever since, Ryan had been going back, glad to have forgotten all about Brendon.
He sat himself down on his bed, wiping at his nose. It still itched from the lines of cocaine he’d done with Gabe, and he shuddered slightly. Ryan jumped when the phone on his bedside table rang, and he hastily reached for it, trying to avoid hitting Shotgun, who was in his lap, and Hobo, who was lying on one of his arms.
“Hello?”
“Hi.”
Ryan’s eyes were the size of saucers when he recognized the voice. “Bye.”
“No, Ryan, don’t hang up!”
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“But I do.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care about you, and I don’t care about me.”
“Ryan, I’m on my way from the city.”
“Too bad. ‘Cause I’m not gonna be here.”
“Where are you going to be then?”
“The place where you aren’t.”
“Wait. What?”
“Bye.”
He hit the off button and flung the phone to the side. Shotgun and Hobo scattered as he stood up suddenly, a frown on his face. Ryan pulled a coat onto his shoulders and went back down the stairs.
“I’m going to Gabe’s,” he said to Spencer and Jon, glancing at the couple making out heavily on the couch.
“Mhm.”
Ryan rolled his eyes and walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. He shoved his hands into his pockets, opening the door to the crap-ass car he’d bought after moving to New Jersey. He drove away from the house, speeding towards Gabe’s 100 bucks a month apartment.
“Hey, Ry. Back so soon?”
“Have any more coke left?”
“Duh. Are you just letting me fuck you to get drugs?”
“Want money?”
“Nah, you’re good enough.” Gabe grinned, grabbing Ryan by the back of his neck and connecting their lips. “I was just about to do some lines anyway.”
“Drug addict,” Ryan mumbled, his knees digging into the rough carpet as he leaned over the table, staring at the white, powdery lines in front of him.
Gabe snorted, collapsing onto the carpet next to him. “You call me a drug addict?” he asked as Ryan started to inhale the lines through his nostril.
Ryan shrugged, shaking his head and letting his eyes fall shut, enjoying the tingling in his nose. “Oh just shut up and fuck me, Gabriel.”
“Sorry, I’m too tired.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, attaching his lips to Gabe’s neck as the male snorted up three lines. Eventually, their clothes came off, and Gabe fucked Ryan into the dirty, grimy carpet.
It was hours later when they had finally come down from their high, bodies entangled together on the floor.
“Hey, Gabe?”
“What?”
“Where you from again?”
“Uruguay.”
“Sweet. Say something in Spanish, or whatever you speak.”
“Uhm… Pienso que para arriba nos cogen bastante.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I think we’re pretty fucked up.”
Ryan laughed, nodding his head. “You are so right, Gabe Saporta. And sexy.”
“Thank you, I know.”
--
“Hey, Ryan!”
“Oh my fucking God. Are you my fucking stalker or something?” Ryan pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, turning away from his car that he had been about to get into.
“No…” Brendon said, and Ryan could tell he was watching the gray, wispy smoke flowing from the end of his cancer stick, swirling around in circles into the air before vanishing.
“Whatever. I have to go to work,” Ryan replied, taking one last drag from the tobacco before throwing it onto the ground, using the tip of his shoe to put it out.
“You smoke?”
“Yeah, and I drink, and I fuck, and I do drugs. Got a problem with it?”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed, watching Brendon take a step closer to him in his Armani suit, fumbling with his tie. “What happened to you, Ryan?”
“You did, Brendon Urie. You happened.” Ryan climbed into his car, slamming the door shut. He pulled away from the house, leaving Brendon standing on the concrete driveway, staring longingly after him.
--
“Good night, Gabe.” Ryan kissed Gabe’s cheek, waving at the male before walking away from the apartment. It had been five months since he’d been going to Gabe’s, practically dating the male. It had been five months since he started doing cocaine and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol.
If Ryan didn’t know any better, he would think that he was pretty damn fucked up.
When he stepped into the house, he was surprised to see Spencer and Jon sitting on the bottom steps of the stairs, staring at the door.
“Uhm… hey?”
“Ryan,” Jon started, standing up and walking towards Ryan as he shut the door. “You have a problem.”
Ryan snorted, trying to walk up the stairs. Spencer stopped him, blocking the way.
“I’m worried about you. We’re worried about you.”
“Whatever. I’m going to bed.”
Spencer shook his head. “Shouldn’t you have been in bed oh… eight hours ago? It’s seven in the morning, Ryan.”
“Really? I thought it was only one.”
“You’re fucked up. Look at you! You’re so obviously doing drugs,” Jon said, standing behind Ryan so that he couldn’t run away from them. “I’m surprised you’re still going to work.”
“I’m not on drugs, you idiots. I’m simply hanging out with a friend.”
“You mean your fuck buddy?”
“Exactly, now let me get some sleep!”
Spencer sighed. “If you’re going to keep taking drugs and coming home at ridiculous times, then you either have to move out, or go to rehab.”
“Why the hell would I want to go to rehab?”
“To get better!” Jon piped in. “We’ve all ready signed you up, and when you were drunk, we got you to sign your signature on the consent form. You’re all packed and everything.”
“I can’t fucking believe you guys.”
“Ryan, if you don’t go, you’re not staying here, and you don’t have enough money to rent an apartment.”
“I’ll live with Gabe.”
“No, way, you’ll die there.”
Ryan tried to push his way past the barrier that was Spencer’s arms, but was grabbed by his shoulders by Jon.
“Exactly. Now come on, you’re going to the rehab center today.”
“Today?”
“Today.”
--
“Can I go now?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks.”
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson and will stay away from cocaine, right?”
“Of course.” Ryan smiled at the clerk behind the desk, grabbing his bag and starting to walk out of the building. Jon and Spencer were supposed to be waiting with the car for him, but he couldn’t see any running cars in site.
He sighed, shaking his head as he sat on the curb. Maybe they’d given up on him eight months ago when he was checked into rehab. Actually, that couldn’t be true. After all, every chance there was to visit, they’d come to see him. And they promised him that they would come pick him up. Since they were first friends, Spencer had never broken a promise to him, and Ryan believed it was that way to this day.
“Hi, Ryan.”
His head snapped up, staring at his former boss. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in Jersey for some business, and your friends got busy. Literally. So they asked me to come pick you up.”
“I don’t believe this,” Ryan mumbled, playing with a pebble in the crack of the sidewalk.
“Well you better,” Brendon replied, sitting beside him on the concrete, even in his trademark Armani suit. “Ryan… what happened to the Ryan I knew?”
Ryan shook his head, standing up. He started to walk away, bag in tow before he stopped. He turned, looking back at Brendon.
“You killed him.”
--
“Good morning, Spencer,” Ryan said with a smile, sitting down on the couch next to Spencer.
“Gabe called.”
“Did he?”
“Yeah.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That maybe you two shouldn’t see each other for a while.”
Ryan nodded his head, resting it on Spencer’s shoulder. “Oh, okay.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“You know what, Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve missed you. This you.”
“I’ve missed me too.”
--
“Good afternoon, Mr. Ross.”
“Good afternoon.”
“If you would just wait right over there, Mr. Urie will be finished with his meeting in a few minutes.”
Ryan nodded, thanking the secretary that sat at his old desk. He moved over to a sitting area off to the side, his leg bouncing up and down nervously. A hand moved up, fixing the tie he’d put around his neck. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was doing back here. He only knew that Spencer and Jon had somehow managed to talk him into trying to get a new job.
Of course, this was the only job they wanted Ryan to work on getting.
“Mr. Ross, you may go in now.”
Ryan looked up and nodded, quickly standing up. However, he hesitated in front of the office door, chewing nervously on his lip. Slowly, he opened the door, stepping in.
“Ryan?”
He looked up at Brendon, nodding. “Yeah…”
“Uhm., what are you doing here?”
Ryan shrugged his shoulders, moving forward and sitting in the chair in front of Brendon’s desk. “I came to ask for a job. Any job.”
“What?”
“A job… I need a job.”
“Oh. What kind of job?”
“Whatever you have for me.”
“Secretary?”
“Sure.”
“It’s settled then. Come in next Monday at the usual time. I’m sure you know the drill.”
Ryan stood up, nodding. “Thank you, Mr. Urie,” he mumbled, shaking hands with Brendon.
“You’re welcome… Mr. Ross.”
--
“Hello, Ryan. Good morning.”
“Good morning, Mr. Urie,” Ryan replied, looking up at Brendon. “Here’s your coffee.”
“Thank you,” Brendon said, taking the cup Ryan passed to him. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s nice to be back.”
“Good.”
Ryan watched his boss walk into his office, letting out a sigh. He turned to his computer, getting ready to start working once more when he heard Brendon call out his name. He stood up, walking into the room right behind him.
“Yes, Mr. Urie?”
“Shut the door, please. Then, come here.”
He nodded his head and shut the door, moving forward so he was standing in front of Brendon’s desk.
“No, I mean here.”
Ryan furrowed his eyebrows but walked around the desk, finding himself right beside Brendon’s chair.
“Sit.”
“Uhm-“ He looked down, seeing Brendon patting his lap.
“Sit, please.”
Ryan slowly nodded, carefully seating himself on the edge of Brendon’s legs. He could hear Brendon chuckle, wrap his arms around his waist and pull him up.
“You know… ever since you’ve started working here, and I mean started, I’ve wanted to fuck you in my office,” Brendon whispered into his ear, licking the shell of it. Ryan shuddered, letting his eyes fall shut. “What do you say about that?”
He bit the inside of his cheeks, swallowing hard. After that whole incident with him so long ago, he’d sworn he wouldn’t do anything like this. Especially with him. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
Ryan found himself practically thrown onto the desk, everything on it having been thrown off rather violently.
“You know I don’t like the word no,” Brendon hissed, flipping Ryan over onto his stomach. “Now… what do you have to say about that?”
“I meant… yes.”
Brendon laughed, sitting back down and pulling Ryan back into his lap. “Good. Let’s get naked.”
Ryan shuddered as Brendon attached their lips, his hands starting to fumble with Ryan’s belt. Thankfully, fortunately, the phone outside of the door started to ring, and Ryan stumbled out of Brendon’s lap.
“Just ignore it,” Brendon said with a groan, watching Ryan leave the room.
Ryan didn’t go back into the office for the rest of the day.
--
“Here’s your lunch, Mr. Urie,” Ryan mumbled, setting the Styrofoam box in front of Brendon, keeping his eyes down.
“Thank you, Ryan. Can you close the door and stay in here for a moment? I need to-uh-speak with you.”
Ryan frowned slightly, all ready starting to back out of the office. “Sorry, sir. I’m on my lunch break right now.”
--
Ryan was fired the next day.
--
( Part II