I need to do a happy post. . .
Zach and I went to my step-brothers first football game today, it was fun even though they got creamed 0-49. The guys were so upset. Then we went to my mom's had dinner chilled for a bit, took a nap, got Tim from work, he dropped us off and headed to Ryan's. I wish I could sleep, but I don't know. . I haven't really tried, got WAY too much on my mind.
I really need to start searching for a job. Tomorrow, well today, I HAVE to go over to the Y and find out if they are hiring for the infant/child care or even the receptionist. I would like to find a place where I can have Zach near me. I am having a hard time trusting people at daycares. I've just see and read so many horrible things, that I'm so scared for Zach.
Money is so tight right now, I really have no idea where it all went. I thought we were doign so wonderufl, then BAM, it hits. We can't even pay the other $350 for rent this month. . . ::sigh:: I wish he wouldn't spend the money on stupid shit. He spent $60+ on a DVD drive/burner for our PC, did we really need it?? No!. . . but I Guess we can burn all the DVD's and sell the ones we copy. I could live without the cases.
Speaking of cases, I need to get my CD case with ALL my CD's back form kristen. SHE STILL HAS IT!! It's been a fucking year now! I think tomorrow I am going to stop by her house tomorrow and see if she is there, if not I will leave a note. I'm sick of playign cat and mouse. I'd like my damn CD's back.
I need to start taking better care of myself. I have not been feeling the greatest for quite some time. I need to eat better, instead of eating junk or nothing at all, I need to walk more, it's getting cooler so I can. What else? . . . . Take care of the house more. It's such a mess, so hopefully when I start eating better and exercising more I will have the energy to clean and give zach my attention. I need to make an eye doc appointment and a doc appointment before my insurance is up. I will have to cancel my GYNO appointment in November because I won't have the insurance to cover it.
It also looks like I won't be able to go to New York for my cousin's wedding. If I had saved that damn money, I wouldn't be in the situation, but no, I was stupid and let people walk all over me. ::sigh::. . . .
I hate feeling desperate, wanting help, but not asking for it, not knowing what to do or feel. It's getting old. I'm sick of feeling down a lot of the time. It's making me not able to be happy for zach and he loves being happy. I was reading something that listed symptoms of a depressed person and I had all of the except for one. Sad, right?
I really need to start searching for a job. Tomorrow, well today, I HAVE to go over to the Y and find out if they are hiring for the infant/child care or even the receptionist. I would like to find a place where I can have Zach near me. I am having a hard time trusting people at daycares. I've just see and read so many horrible things, that I'm so scared for Zach.
Money is so tight right now, I really have no idea where it all went. I thought we were doign so wonderufl, then BAM, it hits. We can't even pay the other $350 for rent this month. . . ::sigh:: I wish he wouldn't spend the money on stupid shit. He spent $60+ on a DVD drive/burner for our PC, did we really need it?? No!. . . but I Guess we can burn all the DVD's and sell the ones we copy. I could live without the cases.
Speaking of cases, I need to get my CD case with ALL my CD's back form kristen. SHE STILL HAS IT!! It's been a fucking year now! I think tomorrow I am going to stop by her house tomorrow and see if she is there, if not I will leave a note. I'm sick of playign cat and mouse. I'd like my damn CD's back.
I need to start taking better care of myself. I have not been feeling the greatest for quite some time. I need to eat better, instead of eating junk or nothing at all, I need to walk more, it's getting cooler so I can. What else? . . . . Take care of the house more. It's such a mess, so hopefully when I start eating better and exercising more I will have the energy to clean and give zach my attention. I need to make an eye doc appointment and a doc appointment before my insurance is up. I will have to cancel my GYNO appointment in November because I won't have the insurance to cover it.
It also looks like I won't be able to go to New York for my cousin's wedding. If I had saved that damn money, I wouldn't be in the situation, but no, I was stupid and let people walk all over me. ::sigh::. . . .
I hate feeling desperate, wanting help, but not asking for it, not knowing what to do or feel. It's getting old. I'm sick of feeling down a lot of the time. It's making me not able to be happy for zach and he loves being happy. I was reading something that listed symptoms of a depressed person and I had all of the except for one. Sad, right?