(no subject)
So... I'm fat and disgusting.. True story
Cleaning my room today made me cry pretty much.. It sucked. I found all my pictures from last summer... It made me miserable seeing how i was never going to beable to relive moments like that. The days where me and kim had no fears, calling up random people in the middle of the night to hang out. just having fun doing what ever. Now i'm fat, pregnant, look like shit 24/7, and lazy with no fun clothes to wear. I swear if i ever get into fashion it will be CUTE maternity clothes that arent too fricken preppy or old lady like.
I'm scared. It sucks. I have no idea how i'm going to handle this baby. My family are coming friday, and i'm excited, except for the fact there is probaly going to be tension/drama. My sister and mom still arnt talking, which pisses me off.
Talked to my sister about going up to bend on the 26th for the LAO/TOSA show.. she said we could probaly do it.. Woot.. that makes me excited.
Going to lagoon tommorow.. Rather tonight more.. gotta eb at school at 3:30. why i am going, i dont know, considering i probaly wont beable to ride 90% of the rides, but o well.
Had a dream about him last night.. Made me sad, made me miss him. But o well life goes on. I just need a guy. I was lookign at the pictures of last summer and saw ones of me and ian. Even though he wasnt my boyfriend or we wernt even dating, i want a guy like that. He made me feel awesome. But o well i wont be getting a guy with this huge belly now, paying for my mistakes.
Cleaning my room today made me cry pretty much.. It sucked. I found all my pictures from last summer... It made me miserable seeing how i was never going to beable to relive moments like that. The days where me and kim had no fears, calling up random people in the middle of the night to hang out. just having fun doing what ever. Now i'm fat, pregnant, look like shit 24/7, and lazy with no fun clothes to wear. I swear if i ever get into fashion it will be CUTE maternity clothes that arent too fricken preppy or old lady like.
I'm scared. It sucks. I have no idea how i'm going to handle this baby. My family are coming friday, and i'm excited, except for the fact there is probaly going to be tension/drama. My sister and mom still arnt talking, which pisses me off.
Talked to my sister about going up to bend on the 26th for the LAO/TOSA show.. she said we could probaly do it.. Woot.. that makes me excited.
Going to lagoon tommorow.. Rather tonight more.. gotta eb at school at 3:30. why i am going, i dont know, considering i probaly wont beable to ride 90% of the rides, but o well.
Had a dream about him last night.. Made me sad, made me miss him. But o well life goes on. I just need a guy. I was lookign at the pictures of last summer and saw ones of me and ian. Even though he wasnt my boyfriend or we wernt even dating, i want a guy like that. He made me feel awesome. But o well i wont be getting a guy with this huge belly now, paying for my mistakes.