o.o
I wake up this morning to my mother asking if I wanted to go to grandma`s house. Hell no. Boring, much? I opt instead to sleep in. And sleep I did. I arose from slumber at around 11.15. And I had an ache in my stomach, I needed to tell him something. I stayed up all night talking to Jordan, which served to make me more confused. You see, I have a dirty little secret that I shan`t post here, as this journal`s public. Well, I guess it`s not dirty. It`s more pure than anything I`ve ever held in my life. *babbles*
Anyway. I get up and get dressed, and walk over to Mike`s. He`s sleeping, so I step over Lee and crawl in bed with him. "Hi baby," he says. "Hi. We need to talk." *groan omits from teh boyfriend`s throat* "What about now?"
I don`t care if you smoke. I just don`t care anymore. You`re not happy like this, and it shows.
So I can smoke out of that bong?
As long as I can, too.
Well, not today. Superbowl.
Duh, Michael.
*wraps his arms around me*
I love you, you know that?
He then proceeds to tell me what he and Lee did last night that could`ve led to them going to jail. The details won`t be posted here, as I swore not to tell. I was pissed for about five minutes, and then realized I didn`t care. I just don`t care anymore. If he goes to jail, that`s his ass. Not mine.
I would, for once, like a healthy, happy relationship. One that doesn`t revolve around drugs. And my opinion is this: He`s a very unhappy person and chooses to self medicate himself by doing drugs. One day he`ll grow up and seperate his head from his ass and get some medication. But that day is not today. He`s still very much a child, whether or not he wants to admit it. Legally, he`s an adult, he`s all grown up, but it`s said that when you start doing weed, your mind stops developing. He started when he was about 12. I started when I was 14. We`re both still kids.
I guess the reason I stay with him is because I crave touch. I crave someone to hold me and kiss me and love me and shower me with affection. And he does that. Do I love him? Yes. Very much so. It`s not a healthy kind of love, but it`s love. And right now, that`s all I can really ask for. The man of my dreams is a thousand miles away. So what am I supposed to do?
Anyway. I get up and get dressed, and walk over to Mike`s. He`s sleeping, so I step over Lee and crawl in bed with him. "Hi baby," he says. "Hi. We need to talk." *groan omits from teh boyfriend`s throat* "What about now?"
I don`t care if you smoke. I just don`t care anymore. You`re not happy like this, and it shows.
So I can smoke out of that bong?
As long as I can, too.
Well, not today. Superbowl.
Duh, Michael.
*wraps his arms around me*
I love you, you know that?
He then proceeds to tell me what he and Lee did last night that could`ve led to them going to jail. The details won`t be posted here, as I swore not to tell. I was pissed for about five minutes, and then realized I didn`t care. I just don`t care anymore. If he goes to jail, that`s his ass. Not mine.
I would, for once, like a healthy, happy relationship. One that doesn`t revolve around drugs. And my opinion is this: He`s a very unhappy person and chooses to self medicate himself by doing drugs. One day he`ll grow up and seperate his head from his ass and get some medication. But that day is not today. He`s still very much a child, whether or not he wants to admit it. Legally, he`s an adult, he`s all grown up, but it`s said that when you start doing weed, your mind stops developing. He started when he was about 12. I started when I was 14. We`re both still kids.
I guess the reason I stay with him is because I crave touch. I crave someone to hold me and kiss me and love me and shower me with affection. And he does that. Do I love him? Yes. Very much so. It`s not a healthy kind of love, but it`s love. And right now, that`s all I can really ask for. The man of my dreams is a thousand miles away. So what am I supposed to do?