men are pricks.
No, I am not talking about my loving, sweet, devoted, doting, sensitive boyfriend that I`m completely in love with. I`m talking about this asshole who, when I was walking to Mike`s house and talking to him on my cell, screamed out the window of his car: FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FAT FUCKING BITCH. Probably some small dicked asshole who can`t get laid.
But that is not the only person I`m talking about. I`m talking about my biggest mistake, Kris. Yes, my biggest mistake. I regret everything about him, from loving him to fucking him. Just when I thought I could forgive him for leading me on, breaking my heart into a million pieces, and tap dancing all over it, I read this in my Luna`s OD:
I was chillin in Transfiguration today, minding my own business, and then I see Kris, right? He’s putting something in his jacket pocket which turns out to be some potato chips, but I ask him, “What’s that?” he says, and I quote, “Mind your own damn business. You’re fat. Don’t eat anything, be anorexic.”
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU FUCKING INSENSITIVE JACKASS? Do you know that she struggles everyday with her weight, even though she is nowhere near fat? I don`t give a fuck if you were trying to be sarcastic or witty, or what the fuck ever. You had absolutely no right whatsoever to say that to her. She is the most beautiful person I have ever met, and you`re lucky she gives you the time of day, you fucking asshole. You are so lucky I was not around when that happened, because if I would`ve been there, going to that school, and overheard you say that to her, I would`ve killed you. Plain and fucking simple. She is everything you are not, beautiful amazing sweet kind loving caring devoted wonderful and did I mention fucking gorgeous? I`m surprised she didn`t rip you a new asshole. But she`s better than that, and always has been. She was right about you, in every instance.
What do you get out of saying something like that? Does it bring you pleasure to anger or hurt someone? I know your mother raised you better than that, dearest. *laughs* It`s sad, really, how you have to be mean to people to feel better about yourself. Well guess what? You are not better than her, you will never be better than her. For someone as self consious about their weight as you are, one would think you`d be a little more sensitive than that about it. Let`s get it all out there, shall we? Now that I`m just unloading it all. You hate me. Get the fucking balls to say it. You hate everything about me, simply because I`m a living reminder on how badly you fucked up. You dated me, because I put out. You never loved me, in any sense of the word, so don`t even try to say you ever did. Everything you told me was a lie. You only came back to me because Mary was smart and wouldn`t have you, while I was blindly in love with you, willing to do anything for you. You said it yourself, "The only reason I chose you over Mary was because I`m nice." Nice my ass. Maybe back in ninth grade, before you became the world`s biggest prick. Maybe back in the middle of tenth grade when you were a Victorian gentleman in every sense of the term. But now? Hah.
Now you`re not capable of being nice, dear. Being nice includes having emotion, and it`s obvious by your display today, that you don`t have any. Go be an apathetic asshole, it`s okay. One day you`ll get what`s coming to you, or maybe you already have. I don`t know; I`m not a part of your life anymore and I`m glad for that. I never needed your mind games covered in philosophical double talk anyway. [/rant]
To Mary, Brian, and Claire: I know you are his friends, and I know you love him. But I had to write this, because it`s what I`m feeling. This is my journal, I pay for it, so I will say what I want to say. And if any of you want to stop speaking to me because of it, then by all means do. But, Brian, make sure you drop my books back off or you`ll owe me $50. ;)
ANYFUCKINWAYS. I went to Mike`s today and was incredibly mood swingy, and he kept thinking I was mad at him, and I wasn`t mad at him, per se. I was just mad in general. Lee even went as far as to say I was crazy. And I was acting like a fuckin psycho bitch. BUT. He pissed me off beyond belief, and I stormed off. He apologized for it later, but still. HE`S FUCKING ANNOYING. GO AWAY. JESUS CHRIST.
It`s weird though. I don`t want him to dislike me, even if he does annoy the shit out of me, I adore Lee and he`s like an older brother. An annoying older brother. But still. Haha, no schooool tomorrow! *dances* 'Cause I`m dropping both my Tuesday/Thursday classes. I just don`t wanna go to school everyday. Sooooorrry. I`ll take them again this summer. We cuddled a bit, and I kept playfully attacking him. Twas all very fun. By the end of the night, he was playing with my bellybutton and telling me how beautiful I am. *sighs* I`m going over there again Friday, and bringing Hellraiser along and we shall watch it and cuddle and whatnot.
Then perhaps Saturday I`ll have my gorgeous best friend over, and cuddle a bit with her. Tomorrow I plan to talk to one of my shooting stars, Jordan-dearest, all day long as he`s out of school due to snow and ice and the like. Hopefully he`ll be out again tomorrow. *crosses fingers* Things are kind of weird between us right now. . .but I`m sure we`ll get through it. And then I will perhaps watch Little Women, 'cause we got it in the mail today along with Hellraiser. Mayhap I will take a nice bubble bath and nance about in a bathrobe. Ah, the fun of it all. Well, people, I need to update my OpenDiary, so I shall leave you for now. *snuggles to you all*
But that is not the only person I`m talking about. I`m talking about my biggest mistake, Kris. Yes, my biggest mistake. I regret everything about him, from loving him to fucking him. Just when I thought I could forgive him for leading me on, breaking my heart into a million pieces, and tap dancing all over it, I read this in my Luna`s OD:
I was chillin in Transfiguration today, minding my own business, and then I see Kris, right? He’s putting something in his jacket pocket which turns out to be some potato chips, but I ask him, “What’s that?” he says, and I quote, “Mind your own damn business. You’re fat. Don’t eat anything, be anorexic.”
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU FUCKING INSENSITIVE JACKASS? Do you know that she struggles everyday with her weight, even though she is nowhere near fat? I don`t give a fuck if you were trying to be sarcastic or witty, or what the fuck ever. You had absolutely no right whatsoever to say that to her. She is the most beautiful person I have ever met, and you`re lucky she gives you the time of day, you fucking asshole. You are so lucky I was not around when that happened, because if I would`ve been there, going to that school, and overheard you say that to her, I would`ve killed you. Plain and fucking simple. She is everything you are not, beautiful amazing sweet kind loving caring devoted wonderful and did I mention fucking gorgeous? I`m surprised she didn`t rip you a new asshole. But she`s better than that, and always has been. She was right about you, in every instance.
What do you get out of saying something like that? Does it bring you pleasure to anger or hurt someone? I know your mother raised you better than that, dearest. *laughs* It`s sad, really, how you have to be mean to people to feel better about yourself. Well guess what? You are not better than her, you will never be better than her. For someone as self consious about their weight as you are, one would think you`d be a little more sensitive than that about it. Let`s get it all out there, shall we? Now that I`m just unloading it all. You hate me. Get the fucking balls to say it. You hate everything about me, simply because I`m a living reminder on how badly you fucked up. You dated me, because I put out. You never loved me, in any sense of the word, so don`t even try to say you ever did. Everything you told me was a lie. You only came back to me because Mary was smart and wouldn`t have you, while I was blindly in love with you, willing to do anything for you. You said it yourself, "The only reason I chose you over Mary was because I`m nice." Nice my ass. Maybe back in ninth grade, before you became the world`s biggest prick. Maybe back in the middle of tenth grade when you were a Victorian gentleman in every sense of the term. But now? Hah.
Now you`re not capable of being nice, dear. Being nice includes having emotion, and it`s obvious by your display today, that you don`t have any. Go be an apathetic asshole, it`s okay. One day you`ll get what`s coming to you, or maybe you already have. I don`t know; I`m not a part of your life anymore and I`m glad for that. I never needed your mind games covered in philosophical double talk anyway. [/rant]
To Mary, Brian, and Claire: I know you are his friends, and I know you love him. But I had to write this, because it`s what I`m feeling. This is my journal, I pay for it, so I will say what I want to say. And if any of you want to stop speaking to me because of it, then by all means do. But, Brian, make sure you drop my books back off or you`ll owe me $50. ;)
ANYFUCKINWAYS. I went to Mike`s today and was incredibly mood swingy, and he kept thinking I was mad at him, and I wasn`t mad at him, per se. I was just mad in general. Lee even went as far as to say I was crazy. And I was acting like a fuckin psycho bitch. BUT. He pissed me off beyond belief, and I stormed off. He apologized for it later, but still. HE`S FUCKING ANNOYING. GO AWAY. JESUS CHRIST.
It`s weird though. I don`t want him to dislike me, even if he does annoy the shit out of me, I adore Lee and he`s like an older brother. An annoying older brother. But still. Haha, no schooool tomorrow! *dances* 'Cause I`m dropping both my Tuesday/Thursday classes. I just don`t wanna go to school everyday. Sooooorrry. I`ll take them again this summer. We cuddled a bit, and I kept playfully attacking him. Twas all very fun. By the end of the night, he was playing with my bellybutton and telling me how beautiful I am. *sighs* I`m going over there again Friday, and bringing Hellraiser along and we shall watch it and cuddle and whatnot.
Then perhaps Saturday I`ll have my gorgeous best friend over, and cuddle a bit with her. Tomorrow I plan to talk to one of my shooting stars, Jordan-dearest, all day long as he`s out of school due to snow and ice and the like. Hopefully he`ll be out again tomorrow. *crosses fingers* Things are kind of weird between us right now. . .but I`m sure we`ll get through it. And then I will perhaps watch Little Women, 'cause we got it in the mail today along with Hellraiser. Mayhap I will take a nice bubble bath and nance about in a bathrobe. Ah, the fun of it all. Well, people, I need to update my OpenDiary, so I shall leave you for now. *snuggles to you all*