Brian and Brianna (my son and my daughter)
The story about the guy from work continued...
So it wasn't long before the sexual tension was at an all time high. I would love to have some kind of climax in this story but, I'd rather get to the point. So, I slept with him. knowing it was bad and worng and all that stuff...I still did it.
I don't know if I am in love with him but, I do love the way I feel around him. He makes me smile like no one else. He makes me not want to be lazy or sad. He's just so...comfortable. That is the exact word!
I hate that I did this to myself b/c I know it couldn't never be what I want it to be. I'm not delusional. I know he will never leave his girlfriend. Especially for me. I know that I could never share him with any of my friends or introduce him to my family. But I still want to be with him.
I keep thinking maybe I feel this way b/c I slept with him. But I didn't feel that way about the first guy I slept with. I really don't even think about him. It's not like he is man of the year. He's not even really my type. Not rocker or skater or sufer or even white. He's frickin Puerto Rican and semi ghetto and already a father. He has some tatoo's that remind me of Mexican gangtasters from L.A. He's a little bit chubby and doesn't have that lean athletic body I have always daydreamed about.
So why am I attracked to him? Because he is funny (even thought it's kind of corny). He is so intense that you can't help feel every single happy thing he feels. He has some kind of depth that only comes when you've been thru hell and back. He doesn't care that I have a less than desirable attitude sometimes. And he has this smile when he is completely happy that gives me the most serious case of butterflies I have ever had.
But I can't tell him any of this. I can't tell him how good he makes me feel. It would ruin everything for the moment and for once I am going to do whatever it is that makes me happy at that moment. Whatever the hell I fucking feel like. I don't care about anything. Just being happy today, or at least right now.
So it wasn't long before the sexual tension was at an all time high. I would love to have some kind of climax in this story but, I'd rather get to the point. So, I slept with him. knowing it was bad and worng and all that stuff...I still did it.
I don't know if I am in love with him but, I do love the way I feel around him. He makes me smile like no one else. He makes me not want to be lazy or sad. He's just so...comfortable. That is the exact word!
I hate that I did this to myself b/c I know it couldn't never be what I want it to be. I'm not delusional. I know he will never leave his girlfriend. Especially for me. I know that I could never share him with any of my friends or introduce him to my family. But I still want to be with him.
I keep thinking maybe I feel this way b/c I slept with him. But I didn't feel that way about the first guy I slept with. I really don't even think about him. It's not like he is man of the year. He's not even really my type. Not rocker or skater or sufer or even white. He's frickin Puerto Rican and semi ghetto and already a father. He has some tatoo's that remind me of Mexican gangtasters from L.A. He's a little bit chubby and doesn't have that lean athletic body I have always daydreamed about.
So why am I attracked to him? Because he is funny (even thought it's kind of corny). He is so intense that you can't help feel every single happy thing he feels. He has some kind of depth that only comes when you've been thru hell and back. He doesn't care that I have a less than desirable attitude sometimes. And he has this smile when he is completely happy that gives me the most serious case of butterflies I have ever had.
But I can't tell him any of this. I can't tell him how good he makes me feel. It would ruin everything for the moment and for once I am going to do whatever it is that makes me happy at that moment. Whatever the hell I fucking feel like. I don't care about anything. Just being happy today, or at least right now.