suddenly female!sonny (and roadhog, gen)
suddenly female!sonny (and roadhog, gen)
~1500 wds (including fic and chatfic/notes)
(310): emergency get here now !!
Bleary-eyed, RH checks the time on the text- yeah, immediate, not left over from last night or something. He’s instantly concerned; Sonny doesn’t like to raise a fuss, doesn’t like to demand things of people. If he says it’s an emergency, RH comes running.
He bangs on Sonny’s hotel room door and only then checks his watch; it’s only six AM.
Sonny opens the door with his hair in his face, looking down and ducking away from the door. He’s got his free hand crossed in front of his chest, but RH can immediately tell what the emergency is.
“Sonny,” he says, fear literally spiking through him. He doesn’t even know what to do. He doesn’t even know what questions to ask. He freezes for a second, then steps in and closes the door too hard, suddenly unaware of his own strength. “What?”
Sonny swallows and shrugs. His adam’s apple is gone, his throat soft; RH looks him over and finds his thighs pretty much the same, his hips suddenly looking too narrow for a female body rather than too wide for a male one. His jaw is softer, his chin and brow less pronounced. It’s obviously still Sonny, no question, but the biggest change is the obvious breasts stretching out the soft shirt he sleeps in.
Noticeably large breasts. Even for a woman, those are notable breasts.
“I don’t understand,” RH says, and Sonny, still looking at the ground and covering his chest, shakes his head.
“Are you okay?” Rob asks. He wants to put a hand on Sonny’s shoulder to comfort him but at the same time he’s terrified, weirdly paranoid that it’s catching.
Sonny winces, curls in on himself, shakes his head. His eyes close like he’s fighting back tears and RH gets the fuck over himself and pulls his best friend in for a hug, wrapping his tattooed arms around Sonny’s slender, sloped shoulders. He tucks his chin over Sonny’s head and says, “Don’t worry, man, don’t worry. We’re gonna get you better. I’m gonna call a doctor, we’re gonna let the venue know you’re sick and might have to cancel, we’re gonna figure this out. I’m sure this has happened to someone before, someone’s gonna know what to do.”
He feels Sonny’s back shake in a silent sob, his little round arms still crossed over himself, trying to crush his chest flat again. RH rocks him back and forth a little and says, “Don’t freak out, man, don’t freak out, you’re fine, you’re fine.”
“I j-just… got up for water,” Sonny stutters finally as the tears start to come, and RH understands why he hadn’t been talking. His voice is two octaves higher than it was yesterday. He can’t believe it’s Sonny's voice.
Thoughts wash over him.
“And your-?” RH asks, his voice dry and weak. He tilts his head, trying to look down at Sonny.
There’s a long moment where Sonny just cries quietly, trying to take gasping little breaths and get enough air in his lungs to speak.
He swallows and RH feels Sonny’s thighs shift together. He knows what answer he’s expecting.
“Gone,” Sonny says eventually. “Just- Just a-“
“Shh,” RH whispers, cutting him off. Jesus fucking Christ.
+++
notes on that:
um the worst dysphoria evar!!! because it comes all at once
and he doesn’t want to let anyone see him topless, not even the doctor, finds the idea repulsive and has to deal with his first brushes with sexualization when some guy in the hospital leers at his boobs and he literally just decks the guy and causes a scene and they stick him in his own room just to get him away from the other patients- the doctor tries to throw him out for bullshitting her but he’s serious and he makes RH leave when they ask him to undress and it’s the most humiliating this he’s ever been through and RH hears from the doctor later that his chest is COVERED with stretch marks from growing from nothing to a D cup literally overnight and that’s when she starts to believe him
and RH talks about him one time like “my friend in room 607, he-” and looks at sonny and says “she?” like he’s checking just in case, he doesn’t know
and sonny’s like “hog if you call me a she i’m literally going to throw up, i can’t deal with that”
maybe he just stays in a female-assigned body and gets top surgery and starts hormones and transitions medically back to male
idk how to make it sexy the way the requester probably wanted, sonny obviously would never want his clothes to come off again in his entire life and would never want anyone to look at him and would sit in his bedroom and make angry/sad electronic music and never leave his house and get drunk a lot ummm dysphoria is really hard and i imagine it’s even harder for someone who 1) already has body issues 2) didn’t grow up with it but just suddenly it ARRIVED with your body suddenly becoming a medical oddity that everyone wants to poke and prod at and take samples of his vaginal excretions and photograph his stretch marks he he just can’t stand it and wants to cry every time someone looks at him 3) has a history of depression anyway
maybe he magically goes back the next day with a magical new appreciation for loving his body maybe?!?! there’s an illogical but not unhappy ending
and skrillmau5y thoughts:
joel drops by next time he’s in la and sonny’s still in depressed hermit mode, alone in his huge shiny new apartment that he had a fucking club built into for private parties before he just switched and didn’t wat anyone to see him until he got that fucking chest surgery and even then maybe not ever again and joel comes by to be like “man what’s up i haven’t seen you in ages” like, he heard but he hadn’t seen sonny since so he’s just dropping by to hang out
and joel starts flirting with him, a little bit, because he’s think like yo he’s female now, and he’s kind of… cute
and sonny’s being reserved but like, joel wants to let sonny know he’s okay with it, they’re still cool
and eventually he kisses sonny
and sonny WIGS THE FUCK OUT and is like FUCK YOU JOEL I’M NOT A GIRL and joel’s like, i didn’t say you were? omg what and sonny’s like AND YET YOU NEVER WANTED TO DO THAT BEFORE I HAD FUCKING… THESE, RIGHT? gesturing to his chest like FUCK YOU GET OUT OF MY FUCKING APARTMENT I’M NOT A FUCKING GIRL, I’M STILL A FUCKING GUY, A STRAIGHT GUY, I CAN’T FUCKING HELP THIS, I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING… I’M NOT JUST SUDDENLY SOMEONE YOU CAN FOOL AROUND WITH JUST BECAUSE I SUDDENLY HAVE TITS and joel is like sonny i didn’t mean to come off like that
and sonny is like
GET
OUT
and then sonny hates himself a lot and laments his life but also maybe learns an important lesson about how women and people who are perceived as women are treated in this culture and has Feminist Feels (TM)
or maybe he doesn’t broaden it to the cultural level and just h8s his lief w/e not sure
BUT IMAGINE
~1500 wds (including fic and chatfic/notes)
(310): emergency get here now !!
Bleary-eyed, RH checks the time on the text- yeah, immediate, not left over from last night or something. He’s instantly concerned; Sonny doesn’t like to raise a fuss, doesn’t like to demand things of people. If he says it’s an emergency, RH comes running.
He bangs on Sonny’s hotel room door and only then checks his watch; it’s only six AM.
Sonny opens the door with his hair in his face, looking down and ducking away from the door. He’s got his free hand crossed in front of his chest, but RH can immediately tell what the emergency is.
“Sonny,” he says, fear literally spiking through him. He doesn’t even know what to do. He doesn’t even know what questions to ask. He freezes for a second, then steps in and closes the door too hard, suddenly unaware of his own strength. “What?”
Sonny swallows and shrugs. His adam’s apple is gone, his throat soft; RH looks him over and finds his thighs pretty much the same, his hips suddenly looking too narrow for a female body rather than too wide for a male one. His jaw is softer, his chin and brow less pronounced. It’s obviously still Sonny, no question, but the biggest change is the obvious breasts stretching out the soft shirt he sleeps in.
Noticeably large breasts. Even for a woman, those are notable breasts.
“I don’t understand,” RH says, and Sonny, still looking at the ground and covering his chest, shakes his head.
“Are you okay?” Rob asks. He wants to put a hand on Sonny’s shoulder to comfort him but at the same time he’s terrified, weirdly paranoid that it’s catching.
Sonny winces, curls in on himself, shakes his head. His eyes close like he’s fighting back tears and RH gets the fuck over himself and pulls his best friend in for a hug, wrapping his tattooed arms around Sonny’s slender, sloped shoulders. He tucks his chin over Sonny’s head and says, “Don’t worry, man, don’t worry. We’re gonna get you better. I’m gonna call a doctor, we’re gonna let the venue know you’re sick and might have to cancel, we’re gonna figure this out. I’m sure this has happened to someone before, someone’s gonna know what to do.”
He feels Sonny’s back shake in a silent sob, his little round arms still crossed over himself, trying to crush his chest flat again. RH rocks him back and forth a little and says, “Don’t freak out, man, don’t freak out, you’re fine, you’re fine.”
“I j-just… got up for water,” Sonny stutters finally as the tears start to come, and RH understands why he hadn’t been talking. His voice is two octaves higher than it was yesterday. He can’t believe it’s Sonny's voice.
Thoughts wash over him.
“And your-?” RH asks, his voice dry and weak. He tilts his head, trying to look down at Sonny.
There’s a long moment where Sonny just cries quietly, trying to take gasping little breaths and get enough air in his lungs to speak.
He swallows and RH feels Sonny’s thighs shift together. He knows what answer he’s expecting.
“Gone,” Sonny says eventually. “Just- Just a-“
“Shh,” RH whispers, cutting him off. Jesus fucking Christ.
+++
notes on that:
um the worst dysphoria evar!!! because it comes all at once
and he doesn’t want to let anyone see him topless, not even the doctor, finds the idea repulsive and has to deal with his first brushes with sexualization when some guy in the hospital leers at his boobs and he literally just decks the guy and causes a scene and they stick him in his own room just to get him away from the other patients- the doctor tries to throw him out for bullshitting her but he’s serious and he makes RH leave when they ask him to undress and it’s the most humiliating this he’s ever been through and RH hears from the doctor later that his chest is COVERED with stretch marks from growing from nothing to a D cup literally overnight and that’s when she starts to believe him
and RH talks about him one time like “my friend in room 607, he-” and looks at sonny and says “she?” like he’s checking just in case, he doesn’t know
and sonny’s like “hog if you call me a she i’m literally going to throw up, i can’t deal with that”
maybe he just stays in a female-assigned body and gets top surgery and starts hormones and transitions medically back to male
idk how to make it sexy the way the requester probably wanted, sonny obviously would never want his clothes to come off again in his entire life and would never want anyone to look at him and would sit in his bedroom and make angry/sad electronic music and never leave his house and get drunk a lot ummm dysphoria is really hard and i imagine it’s even harder for someone who 1) already has body issues 2) didn’t grow up with it but just suddenly it ARRIVED with your body suddenly becoming a medical oddity that everyone wants to poke and prod at and take samples of his vaginal excretions and photograph his stretch marks he he just can’t stand it and wants to cry every time someone looks at him 3) has a history of depression anyway
maybe he magically goes back the next day with a magical new appreciation for loving his body maybe?!?! there’s an illogical but not unhappy ending
and skrillmau5y thoughts:
joel drops by next time he’s in la and sonny’s still in depressed hermit mode, alone in his huge shiny new apartment that he had a fucking club built into for private parties before he just switched and didn’t wat anyone to see him until he got that fucking chest surgery and even then maybe not ever again and joel comes by to be like “man what’s up i haven’t seen you in ages” like, he heard but he hadn’t seen sonny since so he’s just dropping by to hang out
and joel starts flirting with him, a little bit, because he’s think like yo he’s female now, and he’s kind of… cute
and sonny’s being reserved but like, joel wants to let sonny know he’s okay with it, they’re still cool
and eventually he kisses sonny
and sonny WIGS THE FUCK OUT and is like FUCK YOU JOEL I’M NOT A GIRL and joel’s like, i didn’t say you were? omg what and sonny’s like AND YET YOU NEVER WANTED TO DO THAT BEFORE I HAD FUCKING… THESE, RIGHT? gesturing to his chest like FUCK YOU GET OUT OF MY FUCKING APARTMENT I’M NOT A FUCKING GIRL, I’M STILL A FUCKING GUY, A STRAIGHT GUY, I CAN’T FUCKING HELP THIS, I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING… I’M NOT JUST SUDDENLY SOMEONE YOU CAN FOOL AROUND WITH JUST BECAUSE I SUDDENLY HAVE TITS and joel is like sonny i didn’t mean to come off like that
and sonny is like
GET
OUT
and then sonny hates himself a lot and laments his life but also maybe learns an important lesson about how women and people who are perceived as women are treated in this culture and has Feminist Feels (TM)
or maybe he doesn’t broaden it to the cultural level and just h8s his lief w/e not sure
BUT IMAGINE