monday he woke up and hated life
wow. today was pretty werid. at practice it went by so fast. it was weird. we did alot of funny. and i got really really sweaty. but i got home and took a shower. then jackie left me 11 IMs and shes like OMG GET BACK HERE IM COMMING NOW. and i got out of the shower and her sister pulled into the driveway. so i threw on some pajamas and just hung around with her. in my boiling hot house. we're watching my brother until midnight when my mom gets home from work. yeah well around 7:00 me and jackie took a bike ride and my dad came over to do laundry and stay with my brother and his two friends. me and jackie just rode to derby south and talked to katy and matt for a little. then came back here. and my dad was doing laundry still and my brother and his 2 friends were playing air hockey and then my mom called. oh man. theres something that made my day really bad. my mom gets me so mad i just wana say fuck and throw things!! ahh!! everyone thinks everything is always so perfect and its not. if only you could see what jackie sees. then you would know. like when jackie got dropped off here the one day and her dad was talking to my mom and my mom was crying and crap cuz everything is so bad. and then today when she called she made me cry so bad. i dont think i really ever cried as hard as i did today. she told me that my dad needed to leave now and i hung up on her and she called back and told me if i ever hung up on her again she would kill me. and then she threatened to call the cops. and she hung up and my dad just left. and then she called back like 10 seconds later and shes like LET ME TALK TO YOUR FATHER and i was screaming and crying histerically and i told her he left and she didnt belive me and shes like LET ME TALK TO HIM IM CALLING THE COPS and it was so bad cuz he really did leave. and then she wouldnt talk and i was just going crazy and i had like some mental breakdown. uhgh i dont know what to think or feel anymore. my parents are getting a divorce. my dad tells me how much he loves my mom and needs her and misses her and hes so sad/mad that she has a boyfriend. i hate him. KILL. and my mom tells me how she cannot stand my dad and how she is so happy that she has a boyfriend. AHH KILL. i dont know. i feel really bad for my brother too because he hardly has anyfriend and he doesnt know how to handle all this crying and bad stuff happening cuz hes so young. and it seems like all he does is cry. im really trying to be a good sister. and i dont know what else i can do. as long as i have my friends to keep me up i guess ill be ok. but i dont think things could get any worse tonight. i just cant wait until tomorrow. jackie's grandma and grandpa have a cabin in great valley. its out by ellicotville. and shes going for the night and shes bringing me. i guess that will cheer me up. actaually it will cheer me up. i cant wait. im so happy im getting away from this place. ok jackies going to write in her journal now. thanks for reading. later folks.