Apagon
It's been four days now. i dont have a clue to the reason for this sudden absence. absence does makes the heart grow fonder that's for sure! but I'm not too too worried, we left off on a good note, we're solid and trust doesnt even begin to be an issue. (boy is that not something you've heard me say often) But four days...there has to be a reason for this absurdity! I swear if Jorge has something to do with this I swear on everything I'm throwing it down! I'm not even kidding when I say that. I need to find out if there was really a religious ceremony two days ago...fishy, fishy, fishy.
I'm working on a painting, that Brittany will soon be hauling away. I'm really into it. I'm loving it to the max. it's my first completely original painting. no inspiration from photographs, and its not landscape either. it's called "In 1969, we all lived an aquatic life" I'll post pictures of the painting in its process and its final state (if i like the end result), and if I can get access to Nomy's camera a few more times. I'm researching cameras now. I'm between either buying a manual digital camara. not too too fancy or big but still decent. or one of those new thin digitals that can take nice pictures and has at least a 5x optical zoom. cuz travel size is beneficiary.
I'm also getting a lovely laptop tomorrow, which I'm very very excited about. Never really had a great desire for a notebook, but I will hopefully be taking another online class this semester plus, if everything works out for the spring I'll need it to travel and I'll be taking 2 online classes while I'm there. As far as my search for the right school and getting it worked out with UCF it's all been coincedences in my favor. But nothing is final yet, so i'm going to keep praying and thinking happy thoughts, keep researching every grain of detail about everything and hope it really is meant to be. I found the school one day but complete coincedence. I wasnt even looking that up on google and it just sort of popped up as one of the options so i clicked it and it ended up being everything I had been looking for thus far with location, courses, prices, time period. Then UCF moved their program from Madrid to Alcala which is still owned by Madrid but its Alcala and this program that I want is accredited by Alacala. The location is right next to the bus station where I'll find myself on the weekends and hopefully picking up a visitor or two from time to time. It's in Cadiz which is literally like 20 minutes by boat from "home" and 45 minutes on a motor vehicle (except a vespino unfortuanely) but its the closest place to home basically. anyways, so I like it, I'm anxious, I'm just hoping and praying and wishing and being very very cautious and just hoping everything keeps going in the positive direction. I'm happy. mom and dad are being supportive. i'm surprised there, they've had moments of second guessing but i expected far worse. grandma is excited. potential job. la chorri. that I'm going to breifly and very vaguely touch on. My reasons for going are focused on studying, but of course other things are factors (i wont deny it) its a fact that this will be the time to answer some really important questions about my future. i dont want to keep asking myself things. contrary to what may have crossed one mind or two, I WONT quit school and get eloped in europe young. i know, but not only do i know, i WANT to finish school. i still have a lot to grow as a person and if i've waited this long and it's always been there, then I can wait a little longer and it'll still be there. i dont mind putting things to the test. really, if it cant stand the test it wasnt worth it so why rush anything? trust me, I know what I'm doing.
there is one thing i do regret and i understand that regret is fruitless b/c the past will remain unchanged. I probably dont have remorse for the things I got out of the experiences, but my reliability is definitely in question for myself and others about me. i wish nothing would have ever happened with jorge ever. it's like i kept going back to commit the same mistakes. i wish i wouldnt have been so stupid in those days, i wish i would not have gone with passion at first and then fun towards the end. that's not how the real world functions! I cant just change my mind from one moment to the next with people and expect them to understand and follow my lead. and ever since then i've questioned my further actions with anyone or anything and vice versa. my actions, I'm so certain are questioned. they are! b/c if they werent it wouldnt ever be brought up again and what brings me the most remorse is that it's out, it's open and it's still fresh. I'm sure hardly anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about (if anyone has even gotten this far into the sea of text.) I'm just letting it go. I cant believe its 3 am right now btw. I dont know how i'm ever expecting to adapt a healthy sleep pattern and I'll probably still wake up to what my peers would consider early. i'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow so i can go out one last night b4 school starts. although my weekends will carry into monday and tuesday with my awesome schedule. well technically monday cuz then tuesdays i'll work. My school schedules always seem to work out. never had nay complaints thus far. knock on wood. so anyways yeah thats my one and i think only regret
i notice i love to rambling. when i get in these livejournal typing modes i start talking about one thing and it ends up being novel about a million thoughts. In retrospect of my summer I could probably say it has been my favorite thus far. Bumps happened, but all the bumps turned into good and that's what makes things meaningful. I dont know if that's a result of luck, coincedence, karma what have you, or the result of maturing. I hope its the latter.
i said a bunch of stuff aboutfriends and stuff, but its gone. lets just keep it to the "minimum"
I'm reading angels and demons and it starts off almost exactly like the davinci code.
I'm working on a painting, that Brittany will soon be hauling away. I'm really into it. I'm loving it to the max. it's my first completely original painting. no inspiration from photographs, and its not landscape either. it's called "In 1969, we all lived an aquatic life" I'll post pictures of the painting in its process and its final state (if i like the end result), and if I can get access to Nomy's camera a few more times. I'm researching cameras now. I'm between either buying a manual digital camara. not too too fancy or big but still decent. or one of those new thin digitals that can take nice pictures and has at least a 5x optical zoom. cuz travel size is beneficiary.
I'm also getting a lovely laptop tomorrow, which I'm very very excited about. Never really had a great desire for a notebook, but I will hopefully be taking another online class this semester plus, if everything works out for the spring I'll need it to travel and I'll be taking 2 online classes while I'm there. As far as my search for the right school and getting it worked out with UCF it's all been coincedences in my favor. But nothing is final yet, so i'm going to keep praying and thinking happy thoughts, keep researching every grain of detail about everything and hope it really is meant to be. I found the school one day but complete coincedence. I wasnt even looking that up on google and it just sort of popped up as one of the options so i clicked it and it ended up being everything I had been looking for thus far with location, courses, prices, time period. Then UCF moved their program from Madrid to Alcala which is still owned by Madrid but its Alcala and this program that I want is accredited by Alacala. The location is right next to the bus station where I'll find myself on the weekends and hopefully picking up a visitor or two from time to time. It's in Cadiz which is literally like 20 minutes by boat from "home" and 45 minutes on a motor vehicle (except a vespino unfortuanely) but its the closest place to home basically. anyways, so I like it, I'm anxious, I'm just hoping and praying and wishing and being very very cautious and just hoping everything keeps going in the positive direction. I'm happy. mom and dad are being supportive. i'm surprised there, they've had moments of second guessing but i expected far worse. grandma is excited. potential job. la chorri. that I'm going to breifly and very vaguely touch on. My reasons for going are focused on studying, but of course other things are factors (i wont deny it) its a fact that this will be the time to answer some really important questions about my future. i dont want to keep asking myself things. contrary to what may have crossed one mind or two, I WONT quit school and get eloped in europe young. i know, but not only do i know, i WANT to finish school. i still have a lot to grow as a person and if i've waited this long and it's always been there, then I can wait a little longer and it'll still be there. i dont mind putting things to the test. really, if it cant stand the test it wasnt worth it so why rush anything? trust me, I know what I'm doing.
there is one thing i do regret and i understand that regret is fruitless b/c the past will remain unchanged. I probably dont have remorse for the things I got out of the experiences, but my reliability is definitely in question for myself and others about me. i wish nothing would have ever happened with jorge ever. it's like i kept going back to commit the same mistakes. i wish i wouldnt have been so stupid in those days, i wish i would not have gone with passion at first and then fun towards the end. that's not how the real world functions! I cant just change my mind from one moment to the next with people and expect them to understand and follow my lead. and ever since then i've questioned my further actions with anyone or anything and vice versa. my actions, I'm so certain are questioned. they are! b/c if they werent it wouldnt ever be brought up again and what brings me the most remorse is that it's out, it's open and it's still fresh. I'm sure hardly anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about (if anyone has even gotten this far into the sea of text.) I'm just letting it go. I cant believe its 3 am right now btw. I dont know how i'm ever expecting to adapt a healthy sleep pattern and I'll probably still wake up to what my peers would consider early. i'm planning on sleeping in tomorrow so i can go out one last night b4 school starts. although my weekends will carry into monday and tuesday with my awesome schedule. well technically monday cuz then tuesdays i'll work. My school schedules always seem to work out. never had nay complaints thus far. knock on wood. so anyways yeah thats my one and i think only regret
i notice i love to rambling. when i get in these livejournal typing modes i start talking about one thing and it ends up being novel about a million thoughts. In retrospect of my summer I could probably say it has been my favorite thus far. Bumps happened, but all the bumps turned into good and that's what makes things meaningful. I dont know if that's a result of luck, coincedence, karma what have you, or the result of maturing. I hope its the latter.
i said a bunch of stuff aboutfriends and stuff, but its gone. lets just keep it to the "minimum"
I'm reading angels and demons and it starts off almost exactly like the davinci code.