(no subject)
I haven't updated this thing in the longest time, but I don't know what else to do. Myspace bulletin is a little too open. People don't even really read this thing anymore, so this will do.
I feel like I'm holding my breath for one moment, one second, one word or phrase. One of something that with either make me or break me. I don't know what's come over me, either. I never used to be like this. I was always the calm and collected type, moving on effortlessly, and pretending as if it didn't bother me one bit. But lately, with this person...I've been more attached than I ever thought I could possibly be, and it scares the hell out of me. I'm not used to it. I'm used to being the one who could hang up without a second though, go out without having to wonder anything...there's a lot that's changing. I feel as if I'm reversing roles with everyone.
What do you do if you feel like the attempt of another doesn't have as much heart in it as it used to? Like maybe....just maybe you're trying to hold onto something or someone that doesn't want to be there.
I don't want to fall.
And I don't want to fall and not be caught.
So, I don't know what to do. Do I go with the logical side of things, like I'm so used to doing...or do I go with my heart, like I have been lately, that's leading me so blindly? I'm walking into uncharted territory, and I have no clue as to how to make my first step.
All I want is to know that everything will be ok.
But sometimes I feel like even that is out of the question.
I feel like I'm holding my breath for one moment, one second, one word or phrase. One of something that with either make me or break me. I don't know what's come over me, either. I never used to be like this. I was always the calm and collected type, moving on effortlessly, and pretending as if it didn't bother me one bit. But lately, with this person...I've been more attached than I ever thought I could possibly be, and it scares the hell out of me. I'm not used to it. I'm used to being the one who could hang up without a second though, go out without having to wonder anything...there's a lot that's changing. I feel as if I'm reversing roles with everyone.
What do you do if you feel like the attempt of another doesn't have as much heart in it as it used to? Like maybe....just maybe you're trying to hold onto something or someone that doesn't want to be there.
I don't want to fall.
And I don't want to fall and not be caught.
So, I don't know what to do. Do I go with the logical side of things, like I'm so used to doing...or do I go with my heart, like I have been lately, that's leading me so blindly? I'm walking into uncharted territory, and I have no clue as to how to make my first step.
All I want is to know that everything will be ok.
But sometimes I feel like even that is out of the question.