Life to this day...
Well, it's been a couple of days since i've updated this on something about myself.
To be honest, alot has happened in the past couple of weeks. Some terrible, and some amazing.
Obviously Amanda and myself are not together now. It pretty much dug me a grave, and i really just wanted to lay in it and die. I was so upset with myself because i felt like i had done something wrong. I felt like i deserved it. I was so in love with her, I still am. I have been since the day that we met. It's hard to believe, but no matter what happens i could never feel any different. It hurt so much when i heard she was talking / hanging out with johnny again. I talked to some friends about it, i went through every emotion possible. I was pissed off, i was depressed as hell, i was finally rational about it, and then i just went back to the way i was before to cope with it. I'm just trying to get all of my friends back and hopefully get back to bases with myself. I can't go on living just feeling like shit all the time, it's not healthy. I still think about her every day, the majority of my mind is still focusing on her, and i can't seem to change that. My heart refuses to let go, and to be honest im not sure that i really want to let go. For as much arguing as we've done the past week / few days specifically, i still pray to god that she'll come back to me. But i guess until she figures out whats going on with Johnny and with herself mainly, i wont know that for sure.
So last night I went to Canada with a bunch of the boys and shit. Baker, Shoupe, Frank, Darga, Mike, Tim, Alvin, JR, Nick, Kiel, Sarah, Nikki Monette, Nikki Stanley, Candice, and Chelsea. It was the most fun i've had in a while. I really appreciate them offering for me to go and stay there with them and just party like i used to. It was a great time, we ate at Peppers and then moved down the street to start partying at Reactor. We stayed there literally the whole night. We spent so much cash its unbelievable. My legs hurt so bad from dancing right now. We all had a blast. We danced with each other, with the bachelorette party that was there, with random people too. We talked outside with a bunch of people and continued the party inside, it was just a great time. I dont remember a better time in Canada, or in the last week or so to be honest. It couldn't have been better, even though i started feeling shitty again at the end of the night, but that's to be expected after the last couple of days i've had.
But hey, life's good, it's always good. As long as you're livin, it's all good.
Right?
...
Right.
(i miss you)