so.
some people live their lives as if they might die the next day...but me, i live mine as if everyone else might die the next day.
this difference brings me closer, and yet isolates me from everyone i care about.
i guess we don't really have a common cause afterall. this mess.
i'm doing my best to keep my head up through all this turmoil, and through it all.....
the fake smiles and "im ok"'s...only one person has managed to figure me out.
i feel like i was 30 seconds out of luck. if a half a minute could change your destiny would everyone live by the second hand instead of scratching things off a calander?
all i'm drawing here are incompletes.
you tried to enlighten me to the past...i listened and you didn't expect that i guess.
my entire life i'll remember your voice.
see that's the thing with living your life this way...you ruin the people you love.
no matter what shadow you're seeing them OUT of...you leave behind.
one thing i can count on in my life is that i'll make the wrong decisions. when there's a choice...i'll pick the worser of the two. i don't use good judgement because there's never a plan.
trying to please everyone else is never successful.
cleaning out all these drawers and shelves it has become apparant to me that i toss words around, i toss emotions around, i toss the truth around.
cementation doesn't even exist with me.
but i am able to be touched.
and you touched me...every crevice of my soul. i said "you get me"....and i know you felt good about that.
what happened next is nameless.
tragic.
you were around every corner. and my thoughts couldn't come to a conclusion.
still i'm wondering.
i know this is never going to find the eyes that i want it to.
its like i'm holding up a magnifying glass to anything that breathes....but really, deep down i know what i want to scrutinize and marvel and and love.
when you figure out how you're different, its easy to see how you just want to be the same.
whether that be broken or free....you want to be the same.
because it feels safe
this difference brings me closer, and yet isolates me from everyone i care about.
i guess we don't really have a common cause afterall. this mess.
i'm doing my best to keep my head up through all this turmoil, and through it all.....
the fake smiles and "im ok"'s...only one person has managed to figure me out.
i feel like i was 30 seconds out of luck. if a half a minute could change your destiny would everyone live by the second hand instead of scratching things off a calander?
all i'm drawing here are incompletes.
you tried to enlighten me to the past...i listened and you didn't expect that i guess.
my entire life i'll remember your voice.
see that's the thing with living your life this way...you ruin the people you love.
no matter what shadow you're seeing them OUT of...you leave behind.
one thing i can count on in my life is that i'll make the wrong decisions. when there's a choice...i'll pick the worser of the two. i don't use good judgement because there's never a plan.
trying to please everyone else is never successful.
cleaning out all these drawers and shelves it has become apparant to me that i toss words around, i toss emotions around, i toss the truth around.
cementation doesn't even exist with me.
but i am able to be touched.
and you touched me...every crevice of my soul. i said "you get me"....and i know you felt good about that.
what happened next is nameless.
tragic.
you were around every corner. and my thoughts couldn't come to a conclusion.
still i'm wondering.
i know this is never going to find the eyes that i want it to.
its like i'm holding up a magnifying glass to anything that breathes....but really, deep down i know what i want to scrutinize and marvel and and love.
when you figure out how you're different, its easy to see how you just want to be the same.
whether that be broken or free....you want to be the same.
because it feels safe