(no subject)
So my internet is back on which means im 260 bucks poorer but it won't be for long cause at the end of the year we are moving out of the aprtament. which also means that my wack ass is gonna be moving back to my mommys house in IB far from everything.. that upsets me alot. among other things. the usual shit. I was looking bcak on somethings that happened like a year ago and it made my stomach turn. i was actually really happy for like a month straight.. and it got taken away from me. What the fuck.. I wish i knew who my true friends are. I honestly don;t know who is my friend and who is not anymore. there are kids in my life that are nice to me sometimes or most times bu that doesn't nessecarily make them true friends. I don;t even know if I am a true friend to anyone. Im a nice guy. thast it. but i thinki im a shitty person. I can't help anyone out at all. well i can but everytime i help people out I always get the shit end of the deal. Im turning into a big jerk and i don;t like it. i say stupid shit all teh time about girls and rape and shit. its not funny to anyone. it actualy upsets people. and that makes me smile. I don';t know why but it does. that sucks.IM a shitty person. I can;t think striaght. Im sad all the fucking time but I make it look like im in a good mood. im such an unhappy person.. i envy too many people.. i want what other people have. relationships. better jobs, better opportuntities, some of the shittiest people iknow of are better of than i am. Im tired of hearing the same shit from everyone. "it'll come to you one day" blah blah blah. it won't. ever. im not waiting for shit fuck whatever it is. its never gonna come itwill never happen to me i am destined to be royasly fucked for the rest of my life. and yes i know that some people have it worse. im glad im not in their position. but hye maybe one day It'll happen. just all this good shit is supposed to happen to me right? hahahaha fucking hahahaha. FUCK THIS BULLSHIT