I Can't Believe This
I've been planning on posting the past few days talking about all of the new stuff I've got: car, jacket, shoes, hair color/cut, computer monitor, etc. Unfortunatly, this post is going to be long, uncomfortable and filled with sadness. If you're feeling cheerful, I don't want to ruin your it for you so please, don't read any further.
Sunday, January 2, 2005, a friend of mine passed away. On New Year's Eve she went into cardiac arrest and later, into a coma. She was put on life support. Throughout her life she has had a heart murmur. If I remember correctly, she was planning on having open-heart surgery soon to try to solve the problem. If you are in anyway religious, please pray for Chrispen's family. Words cannot even describe the pain I'm sure they are all feeling.
This sad and unfortunate event has forced me to think, just like everyone else who is effected by this tragedy. Even though I've been going on with my life, all I'm really doing is thinking. So many questions are in my head that I can't even focus on one of them at a time. My main question is, "Why her?" Why a stunningly gorgeous, athletic and intelligent 18 year-old girl. A girl that I gave a ride to every day to high school. A girl that lives just a few houses away.
"Why?" is always the most common question, but always the hardest to answer.
The death of a human has never affected my life. I have never personally known anyone that has died. I know it is probably very rare that after 20 years of living, I have not been affected by death until now.
Death is a part of life and we must all learn to deal with it.
I'm scared. I'm scared that death is following me around. First the psychopathic mother slaughtering her infant daughter in the apartment next to me while I slept. Now a friend that lives just a few houses away from me.
As cliche as it may sound, the passing away of Chrispen has opened my eyes. It has proved a point that I have heard, yet never wanted to believe. We only live one life and we need to make the best of the small amount of time we have. At the young age of 18, she died. I can't even begin to imagine many of the joys of life that she didn't get the chance to experience.
So why am I wasting my life and falling into a routine that I will probably force myself to to do for years? Why don't I do something with my life? Why don't I do what I want to do?
Everyone has turning points in their lives. My thoughts and emotions over the past 12 or so hours has led me to believe that this is one of those points in my life.
Sunday, January 2, 2005, a friend of mine passed away. On New Year's Eve she went into cardiac arrest and later, into a coma. She was put on life support. Throughout her life she has had a heart murmur. If I remember correctly, she was planning on having open-heart surgery soon to try to solve the problem. If you are in anyway religious, please pray for Chrispen's family. Words cannot even describe the pain I'm sure they are all feeling.
This sad and unfortunate event has forced me to think, just like everyone else who is effected by this tragedy. Even though I've been going on with my life, all I'm really doing is thinking. So many questions are in my head that I can't even focus on one of them at a time. My main question is, "Why her?" Why a stunningly gorgeous, athletic and intelligent 18 year-old girl. A girl that I gave a ride to every day to high school. A girl that lives just a few houses away.
"Why?" is always the most common question, but always the hardest to answer.
The death of a human has never affected my life. I have never personally known anyone that has died. I know it is probably very rare that after 20 years of living, I have not been affected by death until now.
Death is a part of life and we must all learn to deal with it.
I'm scared. I'm scared that death is following me around. First the psychopathic mother slaughtering her infant daughter in the apartment next to me while I slept. Now a friend that lives just a few houses away from me.
As cliche as it may sound, the passing away of Chrispen has opened my eyes. It has proved a point that I have heard, yet never wanted to believe. We only live one life and we need to make the best of the small amount of time we have. At the young age of 18, she died. I can't even begin to imagine many of the joys of life that she didn't get the chance to experience.
So why am I wasting my life and falling into a routine that I will probably force myself to to do for years? Why don't I do something with my life? Why don't I do what I want to do?
Everyone has turning points in their lives. My thoughts and emotions over the past 12 or so hours has led me to believe that this is one of those points in my life.