Late Night
Even now when I look at sunsets and long stretches of road, the only thing I can think of when I see the lights and gravel is the sound of absolute silence. It is a silence that is weightless, not heavy and awkward like most silences tend to be.
I am most certainly a man of few words in many situations but I am not a man of many thoughts as much as I am a man of few deep thoughts. There are only a few things which I am sure of and there are even fewer things that I think of: family, Arashi, work, art, and love.
The blessings in my life far outweigh the thankfulness I am able to show. As I sit here in silence, and the sun begins to touch the horizon, and as the company car us takes me further and further away from the hustle and bustle of downtown Tokyo, I throw a furtive glance in the rearview mirror reflecting where you sit, engrossed in your thoughts, and smile at the many ways in which our lives are intertwined: family, Arashi, work, art, and love.
I closed my eyes. The driver took this cue and darkened the inside of the car. We have never spoken many words but I am certain he understands that after spending most of my days talking, at the end of the day, I want nothing more than to not talk. Nino is different though. There are days when he chatters nonstop after work and there are days, like these, when he is quiet the entire way back home until he thanks the driver and waits for him to drive off before going up to his apartment.
After the driver drops me off at home, anywhere from 1 minute to a few hours will pass before Nino calls me. We live about a 10 minute walk from each other, just outside of downtown Tokyo. It’s easier to avoid paparazzi here than living in the busiest parts of the city. The 30-40 minutes commute is a small trade off.
After lazing around my apartment for an hour or so, I decided to call Nino instead.
“Hello?” His voice, low and groggy, “Ohno-san?”
I didn’t say anything, because he was probably stretching his legs and rubbing his eyes. He must have fallen asleep after getting back to his apartment.
“Are you tired? You can go back to sleep.” I said after his usual yawns were over, even though I’d like to see him.
He heard through my suggestion anyway and laughed quietly. “That wasn’t sincere at all.”
“It was partly,” I responded, somehow feeling a little embarrassed myself, when did I come to rely on him so much?
“Well, it’s fine,” Nino said, though I could tell he was amused, “I’ll be over there in 20 minutes.”
By the time Nino made his way over to my apartment, I was engaged in a phone conversation with my mom.
“Satoshi,” She said, “Please make sure next time you play Cliff Climb that your harness fits properly! Your father and I nearly had heart attacks when we saw that it was so loosely fitted in the back!”
“Alright Kaa-chan,” I nodded, resisting the urge to shake my head as Nino snickered, “Thanks for your worry. I’ll keep it in mind.”
She probably didn’t want to hear about a new game we were planning that involved jumping from high spots and grabbing balls attached to a taller harness to obtain points.
“I have company, so I will call you tomorrow.” I promised her.
After a lengthy goodbye, I turned around to find Nino stretched on the couch with his eyes closed.
For a moment, I watched him sleep. Then, I tapped his shoulder lightly, “Nino, are you that tired?”
He let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a “No.” Sitting up, he rolled his shoulders and pointed distantly to a bag on the coffee table, “I brought snacks from the convenience store.”
Though Nino did his best, I could tell he really needed to sleep. Between snacks and our late conversations, he seemed to be fading faster than usual. So finally, I dragged him into my room and set him on the futon, where he wearily grabbed some pajamas and changed into them after washing his face and brushing his teeth.
In the main room of the apartment, I tidied up a little bit before I turned off the light and made my way to the bedroom. Nino was already dozing away. Inside, I felt a twinge of unease. He seemed too tired tonight, almost like he wasn’t feeling well. And then it clicked, Nino wasn’t feeling well.
Swinging my legs up, I hurried into the kitchen and began digging through the cabinet beside the fridge, hoping and praying that it was still there. And when I found it, I breathed a sigh of relief, cold medicine. Picking up my phone, I sent a brief message to Jun-kun and then set the cold medicine near Nino’s bag, hoping that he would notice and take it before he left the next morning.
Climbing back into the futon, I scooted a little closer to Nino. I could feel his chest moving up and down as he breathed and even his breathing sounded a little labored. I frowned, wondering how I had failed to notice that his fatigue had nothing to do with his day’s work and more to do with his health. A little nagging voice that sounded like Sho-chan told me that I shouldn’t blame myself because we worked hard on separate projects all day anyway.
“Nino?” I whispered softly, putting an arm around his waist, “Make sure you take the medicine I put out, okay?”
“I hate medicine,” He murmured back, half awake and half asleep.
“Why didn’t you say something about not feeling well? I could have come to your apartment instead. It’s cold outside for goodness sake, you could have made it even worse.”
Instead of responding, he simply rolled over, so that he faced my chest. He placed a warm hand over my heart and patted it. It was a small gesture but I appreciated it, nonetheless.
“Silly.” I muttered, “even though I’m an old man, you’re the one getting sick.”
The next morning, I felt Nino’s hand gently brushing across my cheek as he said goodbye before heading back to his own place. One of these days, I thought sleepily, we’d be lifted from the driving ban and not have to hide anything from anyone.
I couldn’t help but notice as I ran out the door that morning that none of the medicine had been taken. But because I was running late, I didn’t think to grab it on my way out. When we reached Nino’s apartment, he was already sitting outside, face paler than usual and his hands jammed in his pockets to keep warm.
He greeted our driver warmly and asked him how his morning was going. The two of them carried on a conversation all the way to the agency building; every now and then Nino covered his mouth, as if he was going to be sick and then lowered it when he caught me looking.
Inside our dressing room, I glanced at Jun-kun and knew that he had gotten my message the night before. In one instant, Aiba-chan had Nino cornered and Jun-kun stood menacingly behind him, holding up what looked like cold medicine and Nino’s DS, freshly snatched from his bag by Sho-chan.
I could not help but laugh as I watched Nino, our resident bully, being bullied by the other three. It was endearing and almost comical as he whined his way out of the corner only after gulping down a couple pills. Before he was given back his DS, Sho-chan gave him a stern lecture about keeping after his health, eating properly, and sleeping well.
“I sleep really well,” Nino said indignantly, though he smiled slightly, “Getting up is the hardest part of my day!”
Bonus:
“Nino’s so strange,” Aiba-chan remarked, setting his bag down on the table and sitting on the cushions by it. “He handed me his cell phone and ran away looking really frustrated!”
“Where’d he go?” Sho-chan asked, taking the cell phone from Aiba and handing it to me.
Aiba-chan shrugged, grabbing some papers from his bag. “He seemed to be in a really bad mood, something about too many distractions and crappy phone calls.”
Upon hearing this, I opened his cell phone, only to find that he had a few missed calls from others as well as a few mails. “He must have gotten annoyed by the noises.”
“He could just turn his phone off.” Jun-kun said, looking bemused at Nino’s actions.
If he turned his cell phone off, I thought to myself, he wouldn’t receive my calls or messages. And if he didn’t respond, I might think he’s angry with me, so he gave Aiba-chan his cell phone as a message.
Even after all these years, Nino’s thoughtfulness took me by surprise. Before, Nino wasn’t very attuned to the dynamics of a relationship. He’d been in plenty but for some reason, he couldn’t quite understand how to stay in one. That’s what he said anyway, until we got together.
“I’m not really used to considering how my partner feels,” Nino told me in the beginning, after a tumultuous confession from the both of us, “I’ve never been in a relationship where the other matters so much. I hope you don’t mind having to teach me.”
I learned many things from Nino too. Those are some of the lessons I hold most dear to my heart.
Thank you for reading!
I am most certainly a man of few words in many situations but I am not a man of many thoughts as much as I am a man of few deep thoughts. There are only a few things which I am sure of and there are even fewer things that I think of: family, Arashi, work, art, and love.
The blessings in my life far outweigh the thankfulness I am able to show. As I sit here in silence, and the sun begins to touch the horizon, and as the company car us takes me further and further away from the hustle and bustle of downtown Tokyo, I throw a furtive glance in the rearview mirror reflecting where you sit, engrossed in your thoughts, and smile at the many ways in which our lives are intertwined: family, Arashi, work, art, and love.
I closed my eyes. The driver took this cue and darkened the inside of the car. We have never spoken many words but I am certain he understands that after spending most of my days talking, at the end of the day, I want nothing more than to not talk. Nino is different though. There are days when he chatters nonstop after work and there are days, like these, when he is quiet the entire way back home until he thanks the driver and waits for him to drive off before going up to his apartment.
After the driver drops me off at home, anywhere from 1 minute to a few hours will pass before Nino calls me. We live about a 10 minute walk from each other, just outside of downtown Tokyo. It’s easier to avoid paparazzi here than living in the busiest parts of the city. The 30-40 minutes commute is a small trade off.
After lazing around my apartment for an hour or so, I decided to call Nino instead.
“Hello?” His voice, low and groggy, “Ohno-san?”
I didn’t say anything, because he was probably stretching his legs and rubbing his eyes. He must have fallen asleep after getting back to his apartment.
“Are you tired? You can go back to sleep.” I said after his usual yawns were over, even though I’d like to see him.
He heard through my suggestion anyway and laughed quietly. “That wasn’t sincere at all.”
“It was partly,” I responded, somehow feeling a little embarrassed myself, when did I come to rely on him so much?
“Well, it’s fine,” Nino said, though I could tell he was amused, “I’ll be over there in 20 minutes.”
By the time Nino made his way over to my apartment, I was engaged in a phone conversation with my mom.
“Satoshi,” She said, “Please make sure next time you play Cliff Climb that your harness fits properly! Your father and I nearly had heart attacks when we saw that it was so loosely fitted in the back!”
“Alright Kaa-chan,” I nodded, resisting the urge to shake my head as Nino snickered, “Thanks for your worry. I’ll keep it in mind.”
She probably didn’t want to hear about a new game we were planning that involved jumping from high spots and grabbing balls attached to a taller harness to obtain points.
“I have company, so I will call you tomorrow.” I promised her.
After a lengthy goodbye, I turned around to find Nino stretched on the couch with his eyes closed.
For a moment, I watched him sleep. Then, I tapped his shoulder lightly, “Nino, are you that tired?”
He let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a “No.” Sitting up, he rolled his shoulders and pointed distantly to a bag on the coffee table, “I brought snacks from the convenience store.”
Though Nino did his best, I could tell he really needed to sleep. Between snacks and our late conversations, he seemed to be fading faster than usual. So finally, I dragged him into my room and set him on the futon, where he wearily grabbed some pajamas and changed into them after washing his face and brushing his teeth.
In the main room of the apartment, I tidied up a little bit before I turned off the light and made my way to the bedroom. Nino was already dozing away. Inside, I felt a twinge of unease. He seemed too tired tonight, almost like he wasn’t feeling well. And then it clicked, Nino wasn’t feeling well.
Swinging my legs up, I hurried into the kitchen and began digging through the cabinet beside the fridge, hoping and praying that it was still there. And when I found it, I breathed a sigh of relief, cold medicine. Picking up my phone, I sent a brief message to Jun-kun and then set the cold medicine near Nino’s bag, hoping that he would notice and take it before he left the next morning.
Climbing back into the futon, I scooted a little closer to Nino. I could feel his chest moving up and down as he breathed and even his breathing sounded a little labored. I frowned, wondering how I had failed to notice that his fatigue had nothing to do with his day’s work and more to do with his health. A little nagging voice that sounded like Sho-chan told me that I shouldn’t blame myself because we worked hard on separate projects all day anyway.
“Nino?” I whispered softly, putting an arm around his waist, “Make sure you take the medicine I put out, okay?”
“I hate medicine,” He murmured back, half awake and half asleep.
“Why didn’t you say something about not feeling well? I could have come to your apartment instead. It’s cold outside for goodness sake, you could have made it even worse.”
Instead of responding, he simply rolled over, so that he faced my chest. He placed a warm hand over my heart and patted it. It was a small gesture but I appreciated it, nonetheless.
“Silly.” I muttered, “even though I’m an old man, you’re the one getting sick.”
The next morning, I felt Nino’s hand gently brushing across my cheek as he said goodbye before heading back to his own place. One of these days, I thought sleepily, we’d be lifted from the driving ban and not have to hide anything from anyone.
I couldn’t help but notice as I ran out the door that morning that none of the medicine had been taken. But because I was running late, I didn’t think to grab it on my way out. When we reached Nino’s apartment, he was already sitting outside, face paler than usual and his hands jammed in his pockets to keep warm.
He greeted our driver warmly and asked him how his morning was going. The two of them carried on a conversation all the way to the agency building; every now and then Nino covered his mouth, as if he was going to be sick and then lowered it when he caught me looking.
Inside our dressing room, I glanced at Jun-kun and knew that he had gotten my message the night before. In one instant, Aiba-chan had Nino cornered and Jun-kun stood menacingly behind him, holding up what looked like cold medicine and Nino’s DS, freshly snatched from his bag by Sho-chan.
I could not help but laugh as I watched Nino, our resident bully, being bullied by the other three. It was endearing and almost comical as he whined his way out of the corner only after gulping down a couple pills. Before he was given back his DS, Sho-chan gave him a stern lecture about keeping after his health, eating properly, and sleeping well.
“I sleep really well,” Nino said indignantly, though he smiled slightly, “Getting up is the hardest part of my day!”
Bonus:
“Nino’s so strange,” Aiba-chan remarked, setting his bag down on the table and sitting on the cushions by it. “He handed me his cell phone and ran away looking really frustrated!”
“Where’d he go?” Sho-chan asked, taking the cell phone from Aiba and handing it to me.
Aiba-chan shrugged, grabbing some papers from his bag. “He seemed to be in a really bad mood, something about too many distractions and crappy phone calls.”
Upon hearing this, I opened his cell phone, only to find that he had a few missed calls from others as well as a few mails. “He must have gotten annoyed by the noises.”
“He could just turn his phone off.” Jun-kun said, looking bemused at Nino’s actions.
If he turned his cell phone off, I thought to myself, he wouldn’t receive my calls or messages. And if he didn’t respond, I might think he’s angry with me, so he gave Aiba-chan his cell phone as a message.
Even after all these years, Nino’s thoughtfulness took me by surprise. Before, Nino wasn’t very attuned to the dynamics of a relationship. He’d been in plenty but for some reason, he couldn’t quite understand how to stay in one. That’s what he said anyway, until we got together.
“I’m not really used to considering how my partner feels,” Nino told me in the beginning, after a tumultuous confession from the both of us, “I’ve never been in a relationship where the other matters so much. I hope you don’t mind having to teach me.”
I learned many things from Nino too. Those are some of the lessons I hold most dear to my heart.
Thank you for reading!