Something not right
I'm going insane. Crazy how slow a process this is. I feel like everything I am is covered in glue, my movement is slowed, my insides are deadened. I can't feel anything on the outside as well. I tried to. I tried to prove that I was real but nothing came of it. The blood is just a filling. It's what keeps me upright, gives me substance. There's something strange going on inside my brain and it's not informing me of anything that is happening.
I don't quite understand where the voice is coming from. But it's constantly there. Telling me things I don't want to hear, such as the truth. I never knew it to be the truth, I only suspected. Now I am certain. It all made sense, or at least I thought it did. But now I look back at my previous state of mind and realize that the only sense it made was fake.
I don't know what to do. It's not even just the cutting, it's so much more than that. Something much stronger and persuasive. Winter is usually a more difficult time for me as it is, but this year...it's nearly unbearable. Waking up everyday is becoming a task. Sometimes I forget to breath. I forget what I'm doing and get confused so easily.
I am putting too much pressure on myself. There is too much pressure being put on me. I want to fucking scream until I lose my voice.
I don't quite understand where the voice is coming from. But it's constantly there. Telling me things I don't want to hear, such as the truth. I never knew it to be the truth, I only suspected. Now I am certain. It all made sense, or at least I thought it did. But now I look back at my previous state of mind and realize that the only sense it made was fake.
I don't know what to do. It's not even just the cutting, it's so much more than that. Something much stronger and persuasive. Winter is usually a more difficult time for me as it is, but this year...it's nearly unbearable. Waking up everyday is becoming a task. Sometimes I forget to breath. I forget what I'm doing and get confused so easily.
I am putting too much pressure on myself. There is too much pressure being put on me. I want to fucking scream until I lose my voice.