August 2005 can suck a fart, except the 24th
Well, I have internet at work for approximately a half hour, so here comes the update I promised on why I officially hate August 2005, aside from the 24th which was my 8 year anniversary with Dane.
The beginning of August wasn't so bad, we went on vacation, I interviewed for a job I REALLY wanted, and things seemed O.K. until we got back from vacation, and then all in one week it sucked worse and worse. Here's why...
MONDAY-GUS:
The week before last, my mom called me on Friday and told me that our dog Gus was sick, and that we might have to put him to sleep. I posted in my journal about the devastation of it all. We didn't have to put him to sleep on Friday, the vet was going to try some meds and run one more blood test. That weekend I spent as much time as possible with him because I feared it was the end. He wasn't sitting up, and hadn't sat up in a week. He would lay there and look depressed and every now and then move to a new spot and get up to go outside for no more than five minutes. Last Monday the vet called and said the tests indicated that his cancer was back, and my mom said that morning he couldn't even stand and was in generally miserable shape. She made an appointment for Monday, August 22 at 5:15 to put him to sleep. It was the worst day. I know some people don't understand, and think it was just a dog, but he was so much more than that to me. My mom, dad and I went to the vet together and my mom and I held him until he was gone. I have never cried so hard in my life. My mom and dad have been married for over 35 years and this was the first time my mom has ever seen my dad cry. He was in as bad of shape as both of us. We all loved him so much, and I am still trying to be strong and move on, but I cannot figure out how to fill the big hole in my heart that was taken up with so much love for him.
TUESDAY-GIRL STUFF/JOB:
The day after we put Gus down, I started my period for the first time in 7 years. I had been on depo provera for almost 8 years, which the doctor told me last month was horrible for me and he made me instantly switch to the pill. I was pissed. Tuesday I felt like a teenage girl starting her period for the first time. I guess it explains some of my emotionalness with the Gus situation, but I am still emotional over the whole thing. It sucked, and then it sucked worse when Dane called me. Poor guy had to tell me that they filled the position that I had interviewed for that I REALLY REALLY wanted. I was so upset. Two bad things in one day, piled on top of losing Gus made me a wreck. I don't know what I will do for a job, but I have got to find a real one soon because this place is sucking all my joy away and I want to make enough money to save a bit.
WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY:
Wednesday was my only real good day last week, it was my eight year anniversary with Dane. He took my to a lovely dinner and shopping, but I felt bad for him because I just couldn't pull out of feeling depressed and missing Gus. Nevertheless he put up with me and tried his best to treat me like a queen despite my sorrow. I owe him a redo of that day since I can't help but feel that I ruined it. All in all, I am so lucky to have him because he has been great to me. The rest of the week went just OK, nothing as horrible as the beginning of the week, but it was still shit.
SATURDAY:
Saturday I had to take my car in for its 30,000 mile check up which cost me over $350.00. About an hour after dropping it off I get a call that they want to do an additional $500.00+ worth of labor and that I need new breaks and a bunch of other crap. My dad came to the rescue and I only had to get $100.00 worth of additional work done so it only cost me $450.00 and my dad and I will do the rest of the work and it will only cost us about a hundred bucks. Hearing that they wanted to do almost a thousand dollars worth of work to my car on Saturday just topped of my week. We also took both of the cats to the vet and that trip cost us almost two hundred bucks. Needless to say I am broke and we are leaving on Friday to go to St. Louis for my cousins wedding. Shit.
Well hopefully my next post will be a "Why September rocks" post!
Thanks for letting me whine!
I have missed you all and am getting my shit straight so I can return to my lovely friends. You have all been great and I am reading when I can.
The beginning of August wasn't so bad, we went on vacation, I interviewed for a job I REALLY wanted, and things seemed O.K. until we got back from vacation, and then all in one week it sucked worse and worse. Here's why...
MONDAY-GUS:
The week before last, my mom called me on Friday and told me that our dog Gus was sick, and that we might have to put him to sleep. I posted in my journal about the devastation of it all. We didn't have to put him to sleep on Friday, the vet was going to try some meds and run one more blood test. That weekend I spent as much time as possible with him because I feared it was the end. He wasn't sitting up, and hadn't sat up in a week. He would lay there and look depressed and every now and then move to a new spot and get up to go outside for no more than five minutes. Last Monday the vet called and said the tests indicated that his cancer was back, and my mom said that morning he couldn't even stand and was in generally miserable shape. She made an appointment for Monday, August 22 at 5:15 to put him to sleep. It was the worst day. I know some people don't understand, and think it was just a dog, but he was so much more than that to me. My mom, dad and I went to the vet together and my mom and I held him until he was gone. I have never cried so hard in my life. My mom and dad have been married for over 35 years and this was the first time my mom has ever seen my dad cry. He was in as bad of shape as both of us. We all loved him so much, and I am still trying to be strong and move on, but I cannot figure out how to fill the big hole in my heart that was taken up with so much love for him.
TUESDAY-GIRL STUFF/JOB:
The day after we put Gus down, I started my period for the first time in 7 years. I had been on depo provera for almost 8 years, which the doctor told me last month was horrible for me and he made me instantly switch to the pill. I was pissed. Tuesday I felt like a teenage girl starting her period for the first time. I guess it explains some of my emotionalness with the Gus situation, but I am still emotional over the whole thing. It sucked, and then it sucked worse when Dane called me. Poor guy had to tell me that they filled the position that I had interviewed for that I REALLY REALLY wanted. I was so upset. Two bad things in one day, piled on top of losing Gus made me a wreck. I don't know what I will do for a job, but I have got to find a real one soon because this place is sucking all my joy away and I want to make enough money to save a bit.
WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY:
Wednesday was my only real good day last week, it was my eight year anniversary with Dane. He took my to a lovely dinner and shopping, but I felt bad for him because I just couldn't pull out of feeling depressed and missing Gus. Nevertheless he put up with me and tried his best to treat me like a queen despite my sorrow. I owe him a redo of that day since I can't help but feel that I ruined it. All in all, I am so lucky to have him because he has been great to me. The rest of the week went just OK, nothing as horrible as the beginning of the week, but it was still shit.
SATURDAY:
Saturday I had to take my car in for its 30,000 mile check up which cost me over $350.00. About an hour after dropping it off I get a call that they want to do an additional $500.00+ worth of labor and that I need new breaks and a bunch of other crap. My dad came to the rescue and I only had to get $100.00 worth of additional work done so it only cost me $450.00 and my dad and I will do the rest of the work and it will only cost us about a hundred bucks. Hearing that they wanted to do almost a thousand dollars worth of work to my car on Saturday just topped of my week. We also took both of the cats to the vet and that trip cost us almost two hundred bucks. Needless to say I am broke and we are leaving on Friday to go to St. Louis for my cousins wedding. Shit.
Well hopefully my next post will be a "Why September rocks" post!
Thanks for letting me whine!
I have missed you all and am getting my shit straight so I can return to my lovely friends. You have all been great and I am reading when I can.