Writing is my escape..

[xsilentxfearsx]

I can't help it. I must write again because I've been struck with this writing mood that I can't seem to shrug off. The bright side to it is that I'm able to write stories again, which I haven't been able to do since I don't know how long. Anyways, I don't understand why some days I feel down, not really depressed or bothered by anything, but where I don't want to do anything or talk to anybody. People ask me what's wrong, and I can't tell them because there is nothing wrong. It's just one of those days where I'm spaced out and thinking I guess. I avoided people a lot today because I didn't feel like putting an effort into making conversation. So, I avoided Jen and Jill a lot today, and during lunch, I went outside to eat with Heather. She doesn't ask me questions and if I'm being quiet, she knows that's a hint to just leave me alone. It's not in a mean way, but she knows I'm like that. Surprisingly, she knows a lot about me. I guess that's what comes from being friends since like 6th grade. I know we're not the closest of friends right now, and frankly, I don't want to be, but it's nice having a retreat when I'm feeling like this. I hate when she talks about her boyfriend and such, but we actually have some good talks. She has even come to me for advice on Shane. I help her because I'm not just going to say no. It's not in my nature. If someone asks for my help, then I'll do my best. But I know I'm not ready to just up and help people...I need a lot of it myself.

Emotions can be a pain in the ass sometimes. That sums it up. I'm deciding on my favorite movie right now too, either Usual Suspects, or I'm really considering Stand and Deliver. Eh..I'll see.

I know only one person reads this, but this song is for me. I've gone into a Jimmy Eat World mode right now. Even if they are "emo" I still love them.

"Polaris"

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me