And Everything I Saw, Was Pure And Bloodstained
Well, the other shoe has dropped and-of course-I can't see MSI/Leathermouth after all. So, being the mature and rational person I am, I'm now crying and have made my cold that much worse. I'll probably attempt to sneak out. It'll be like, "hey Mom...going to Talia's for lunch...then the hospital...then I'm sleeping over...UH BYE." I could totally get away with it, even if Talia didn't play along.
Fantasies of running away per minute: approx 9.
Fantasies in which my Mom spontaneously lets me 'violate shabbat' and doesn't send me to yeshiva after per minute: approx 108.
I am so spoiled. I know I am, but who's to say MSI or Leathermouth will still be touring in two+ years? MSi are in their late 30's and early 40's and Leathermouth is "just a side-project." And how about MCR, that I've missed on more than one occasion? Or The Used? They're still pretty young considering, but. Just, the point is I want throw something and hurt myself and I'm already crying-but I want to drown in my tears and just. Ugh. I'm not gonna say how hard it is to be me, because it's not, but I am a depressed fuck and I try not to let myself get excited about things because then this happens. Every time.
How about when I was, like, seven and Sharon was my favorite sister and she lived in Manhattan and she promised all the fucking time that this weekend would be the one I got to visit her but it never happened and I'd cry myself into exhaustion and my parents still don't want either of their depressed as fuck children to see therapists.
I just realized that Liora is the only one of my siblings to have not seen/not need a therapist. David was and is pretty fucking depressed. What is it about my family that makes everything just go wrong?