If only...
If I had time to write a million words about my life, I'd do it.
If I had time to write a million songs to bring you back, I'd sing them, loud and proud.
But guess what?
No matter how much I want to be with you, no matter how much I love what we used to be and what we represented, I can't bring that back. That is a thing of the past. It is what it is and I can't make it any better.
But even though I can feel it my heart how much i miss you, my brain is in control right now, and it says to stay away. And this has to be a good thing. I haven't cried in almost a month. That's amazing, considering I was crying almost every other day when I was with you. While I believe that what we had was real, I also believe that i deserve to be happy, and you can't give that to me.
So you know what I'm doing? I'm going out on dates. I'm meeting new guys and smiling and flirting. I'm not doing this because I want to make you jealous, or because I need a rebound. I'm doing this because I need to feel good about myself again. I need to remember who I was before I met you and who I am now, and see if those two people can mesh together.
I am thankful for having you in my life. I have grown up so much and now, I am finally a girl that I approve of, and who other people approve of. I actually get compliments now and all kinds of people are attracted to my personality.
But enough about you.
I'm having surgery to remove, what they think could be breast or skin cancer. And, due to recent developments, I may need more surgery for what they think is definitely skin cancer. And yeah, I know it sucks, but I'm fine and I'm not worried at all. Within the past year I've lost my virginity, got pregnant, got dumped, had a miscarriage. It seems like this is the final step in my long battle with bad luck this year.
However, it is the end of the year, and things could only start looking up. It is almost Christmas, I've made tons of new close friends that I adore, and I get to see my family this week because of christmas.
So Cheers! to family, friends, and hopefully a string of good luck for me. I did get pulled over today but got off with a warning, so perhaps my luck is starting to change after all.
Oh, and if life were a dream, I would be marrying Shia Lebeuf
If I had time to write a million songs to bring you back, I'd sing them, loud and proud.
But guess what?
No matter how much I want to be with you, no matter how much I love what we used to be and what we represented, I can't bring that back. That is a thing of the past. It is what it is and I can't make it any better.
But even though I can feel it my heart how much i miss you, my brain is in control right now, and it says to stay away. And this has to be a good thing. I haven't cried in almost a month. That's amazing, considering I was crying almost every other day when I was with you. While I believe that what we had was real, I also believe that i deserve to be happy, and you can't give that to me.
So you know what I'm doing? I'm going out on dates. I'm meeting new guys and smiling and flirting. I'm not doing this because I want to make you jealous, or because I need a rebound. I'm doing this because I need to feel good about myself again. I need to remember who I was before I met you and who I am now, and see if those two people can mesh together.
I am thankful for having you in my life. I have grown up so much and now, I am finally a girl that I approve of, and who other people approve of. I actually get compliments now and all kinds of people are attracted to my personality.
But enough about you.
I'm having surgery to remove, what they think could be breast or skin cancer. And, due to recent developments, I may need more surgery for what they think is definitely skin cancer. And yeah, I know it sucks, but I'm fine and I'm not worried at all. Within the past year I've lost my virginity, got pregnant, got dumped, had a miscarriage. It seems like this is the final step in my long battle with bad luck this year.
However, it is the end of the year, and things could only start looking up. It is almost Christmas, I've made tons of new close friends that I adore, and I get to see my family this week because of christmas.
So Cheers! to family, friends, and hopefully a string of good luck for me. I did get pulled over today but got off with a warning, so perhaps my luck is starting to change after all.
Oh, and if life were a dream, I would be marrying Shia Lebeuf