fuck you world.
well i feel like a grade A piece of SHIT right now. i've been so stressed out lately that it's starting to make me depressed.
so today i realized i'm most likely not going to graduate on time. this is where most of my shitty mood is coming from. i'm not going to graduate on time because apparently my account with my school was "frozen" because my parents didn't make a payment, which explains why they haven't sent me any new subjects in probably close to 3 months. i have 3 subjects left before i graduate and i will probably only have a month to complete each of them to meet the june graduation deadline. i don't even know if it would be possible for me to pass 3 subjects in a little less than 3 months, and even if it is, will i really have an understanding of each subject or will i just go on to fail it in college? and COLLEGE, am i really going to be able to get into any school besides tcc when they see i didn't even graduate on time? i can't even think about it without almost starting to cry. i feel like my future is already fucked up to a certain degree. not to such a degree that it would be impossible for me to overcome it, just enough to make everything so hard that i have anxiety attacks for the rest of my life, or something..
bad news pt. 2.. i was scheduled to get my license back april 24th. so my mom went to dmv today to get the required medical forms that have to be filled out when i go to the doctor the 8th. so come to find out, while my license has been suspended since october 24th, and even though the statement they sent me said 6 months from this date, the police didn't send the report to dmv until november 27th. now dmv says it's 6 months from the date they received the report. what a load of shit. one more thing thats fucking up my life, and mine alone, that i have absolutely no control over. i don't know if there's anything i can do about it, but i plan on having some strong words with both dmv and the police chief from the 4th precinct. lazy, fat-ass, fucking PIGS.
whatever. i also have exactly one week to write a 3-page essay on a book i've only read about half of for court. at least this should be my last court date.
i have been fairly happy with my social life lately, and sadly, that is just about all that is keeping from climbing deep into a dark hole and never coming out. on the other hand, i kind of feel like i don't belong any where any more. mainly, in my own house. from the time i get home from work until the time i'm out, i'm on edge. it just doesn't feel right. good thing all it takes is 40 ounces of whatever type of fermented beverage i decide i'm drinking for the night before i'm back to feeling like myself. right now especially, sober fun is about as foreign to me as china is.
i think i could go on for days right now, but i'll spare every one. besides, there aren't enough hours in the day lately, i shouldn't be wasting them here.
so today i realized i'm most likely not going to graduate on time. this is where most of my shitty mood is coming from. i'm not going to graduate on time because apparently my account with my school was "frozen" because my parents didn't make a payment, which explains why they haven't sent me any new subjects in probably close to 3 months. i have 3 subjects left before i graduate and i will probably only have a month to complete each of them to meet the june graduation deadline. i don't even know if it would be possible for me to pass 3 subjects in a little less than 3 months, and even if it is, will i really have an understanding of each subject or will i just go on to fail it in college? and COLLEGE, am i really going to be able to get into any school besides tcc when they see i didn't even graduate on time? i can't even think about it without almost starting to cry. i feel like my future is already fucked up to a certain degree. not to such a degree that it would be impossible for me to overcome it, just enough to make everything so hard that i have anxiety attacks for the rest of my life, or something..
bad news pt. 2.. i was scheduled to get my license back april 24th. so my mom went to dmv today to get the required medical forms that have to be filled out when i go to the doctor the 8th. so come to find out, while my license has been suspended since october 24th, and even though the statement they sent me said 6 months from this date, the police didn't send the report to dmv until november 27th. now dmv says it's 6 months from the date they received the report. what a load of shit. one more thing thats fucking up my life, and mine alone, that i have absolutely no control over. i don't know if there's anything i can do about it, but i plan on having some strong words with both dmv and the police chief from the 4th precinct. lazy, fat-ass, fucking PIGS.
whatever. i also have exactly one week to write a 3-page essay on a book i've only read about half of for court. at least this should be my last court date.
i have been fairly happy with my social life lately, and sadly, that is just about all that is keeping from climbing deep into a dark hole and never coming out. on the other hand, i kind of feel like i don't belong any where any more. mainly, in my own house. from the time i get home from work until the time i'm out, i'm on edge. it just doesn't feel right. good thing all it takes is 40 ounces of whatever type of fermented beverage i decide i'm drinking for the night before i'm back to feeling like myself. right now especially, sober fun is about as foreign to me as china is.
i think i could go on for days right now, but i'll spare every one. besides, there aren't enough hours in the day lately, i shouldn't be wasting them here.