i cannot believe how hard it is for me to type in all lowercase.
it's utterly crazy, really, how attached to such a small, furry creature one can become in as little as one week.
i know it sounds stupid, but...well, see, my therapist told me that there's this thing called empty arms syndrome. women that lose babies tend to experience it.
your body tells you you're supposed to be mothering something, but nothing is there. it's very hard to describe how it feels, but imagine a grossly huge void. and that feeling is kinda close to what it's like.
anyway, yeah. so my shrink told me to get something to replace Kyra, almost. i thought, at first, it was Kayle. then, I thought it was Brendan. but it's neither of them. even though I can nurture them all day long, they've been there for years and it wasn't the same.
so, finally, two years later, i got myself something small and helpless to take care of. she was only a buck ninety-nine, but you can't put a price on life. or love, for that matter.
i had hamsters and gerbils as a kid, but never a rat or a mouse. i knew people with rats, people who said they were quite intelligent and loving. i didn't doubt them. but i never considered owning one.
but, to have a small, furry beast curl up in your shirtsleeve while you're talking on the phone, or take up residence on your shoulder while you're watching a movie...it's oddly comforting. to have a little sprite that weighs less than two ounces curl up on your chest as if she owns the place, and stare at your computer screen as if she's trying to butt in on your conversations...
well. unless you've experienced it, i guess i sound crazy.
but to take something wild and untamed, frightened of all human contact, and after a few days of sickening patience and gentleness, have it running to you for security when something scares it...well, there's just nothing like it.
if you've never experienced it, then you should go watch someone do Join-Up with their horse, spend some time at a wildlife rehab centre, or volunteer at your local animal shelter. take some time to observe those gifted in the art of animal communication. some may not find their cause a very noble one, but they're giving a voice to the ones who lack the ability to speak.
anyway, didn't mean for this to turn into some creepy, borderline-PETA post. fucking PETA idiots. 9_9