Well, to answer your question it may take some writing, but I'll do my bestest to minimize.
I'd say that my childhood was pretty darn exciting, and innocent for the most part, but I was not a perfect fella. I'd always been sexually curious since I was like 3 when me and a friend (girl) went to her house to see what eachother had. When I was 7, or whenever the third grade was, I had my first taste of pornagraphy after being around my friend by the name of Harry. Harry and his brother jump started my sexual drive and we did many regretable things that quite frankly make me sick to think about. My brother didn't help in this area and I wanted to be better at being worse than he was so I looked for the most grotesque things to show him up.
I was a pretty shy kid, believe it or not, mostly because I was ashamed of who I knew I was in secret, a porn addict. Don't get me wrong, lust is not my only fault but it has been the main one that tries to not ever go away, the beast within.
I used pornography, and any kind of social activity, or anything out of the house for my time consumption. They were my get aways. You see, my parents love me with all of their hearts, but my dad has had so many pain problems ranging from diabetes, heart problems, sinus infections, broken back, and alot of other pain problems that he's had to take a tremendous amount of medications to keep sane. But the problem with pills is that they might help the physical pain, but they either cause dependence, or other mental ailments. My dad is a guy who gets upset very easily, and I've sworn to myself not to be that way, though at times I've lapsed.... So with a temper on edge and the added pills there was made a volcano ready to spew on anyone or anything if caught at the wrong moment. This volcano erupted alot on me, and for the longest time my dad was the source of my biggest fear, his anger. So I went to my get away, my refuge in pornography, and in whatever other things I went to to cope since I didn't know how otherwise...kinda.
I was born in Odessa Texas, and lived there for 6 years before we moved to Bryan College Station for another 6 years. When I was 5 I walked the isle of my church to be baptised and to "accept Christ" whatever that meant. 3 years later I was baptised a second time in a lake in College Station, but once again I really had no buisness doing that, because at that point it was nothing more than a bath in lake water. I was raised in church, from nursery upward into the youth group.
Jesus tells us that the decicive question to ask is whether you keep His commands. In my life, for the longest time I did not at all. I was the biggest Pharisee if there ever was one. The outside of my cup was spotless from the outside world, I even got teased at school for being "Christian". But they should have teased me for being a hypocrite. I never really stood up for my faith, I didn't care too much for the commands, except the popularity commands, I tried to please men, and if going to church and all that stuff was what it took than that's what I was all about.
I'd say that my childhood was pretty darn exciting, and innocent for the most part, but I was not a perfect fella. I'd always been sexually curious since I was like 3 when me and a friend (girl) went to her house to see what eachother had. When I was 7, or whenever the third grade was, I had my first taste of pornagraphy after being around my friend by the name of Harry. Harry and his brother jump started my sexual drive and we did many regretable things that quite frankly make me sick to think about. My brother didn't help in this area and I wanted to be better at being worse than he was so I looked for the most grotesque things to show him up.
I was a pretty shy kid, believe it or not, mostly because I was ashamed of who I knew I was in secret, a porn addict. Don't get me wrong, lust is not my only fault but it has been the main one that tries to not ever go away, the beast within.
I used pornography, and any kind of social activity, or anything out of the house for my time consumption. They were my get aways. You see, my parents love me with all of their hearts, but my dad has had so many pain problems ranging from diabetes, heart problems, sinus infections, broken back, and alot of other pain problems that he's had to take a tremendous amount of medications to keep sane. But the problem with pills is that they might help the physical pain, but they either cause dependence, or other mental ailments. My dad is a guy who gets upset very easily, and I've sworn to myself not to be that way, though at times I've lapsed.... So with a temper on edge and the added pills there was made a volcano ready to spew on anyone or anything if caught at the wrong moment. This volcano erupted alot on me, and for the longest time my dad was the source of my biggest fear, his anger. So I went to my get away, my refuge in pornography, and in whatever other things I went to to cope since I didn't know how otherwise...kinda.
I was born in Odessa Texas, and lived there for 6 years before we moved to Bryan College Station for another 6 years. When I was 5 I walked the isle of my church to be baptised and to "accept Christ" whatever that meant. 3 years later I was baptised a second time in a lake in College Station, but once again I really had no buisness doing that, because at that point it was nothing more than a bath in lake water. I was raised in church, from nursery upward into the youth group.
Jesus tells us that the decicive question to ask is whether you keep His commands. In my life, for the longest time I did not at all. I was the biggest Pharisee if there ever was one. The outside of my cup was spotless from the outside world, I even got teased at school for being "Christian". But they should have teased me for being a hypocrite. I never really stood up for my faith, I didn't care too much for the commands, except the popularity commands, I tried to please men, and if going to church and all that stuff was what it took than that's what I was all about.
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