(no subject)
when will i get a break from life?
i feel like i'm going insane, and theres nothing to break my fall.agh, i cant even describe how i'm feeling. its so beyond overwelmed, i dont know what it is anymore. i'm struggling to hold on for dear life, but i'm affraid i might fail.i cant stand being a failure. it seems like thats all i've been able to be though...never giving enough, and giving in to failure in the end. I'm only half of what i should be at everything i do in life. i cant get past it. is it me? my mind set? or am i doomed to spend the rest of my life searching for just ONE thing that i can suceed at, one thing that i can do with ease and talent. i fear i'll never find it. next year is only going to prove to be more hectic, so i better lip it up now huh? next year's gonna consist of, band, oboe lessons, voice lessons, orchestra, pit,IMEA band, interior design classes/portfolios,voice recitals-agh i cant even name em all! thats only extra curricular- its like is there a point where you have to say anough is enough, otherwise u'll just break down? i hope i can just make it through highschool...thats all i'm hoping for. god speaking of that-how fast has high school flown by? damn, it seems like a month ago i was a soph. and 3 months ago i was a naieve freshman. now all i can think about is getting the hell out of there. i'm ready man. let me out. i honestly can't wait to get into interior design, its like i've got this passion for it that i cant describe, who knows if i'll be sucessful, but at least i'll like what i'm doing. aite enough of me rambling later*
i feel like i'm going insane, and theres nothing to break my fall.agh, i cant even describe how i'm feeling. its so beyond overwelmed, i dont know what it is anymore. i'm struggling to hold on for dear life, but i'm affraid i might fail.i cant stand being a failure. it seems like thats all i've been able to be though...never giving enough, and giving in to failure in the end. I'm only half of what i should be at everything i do in life. i cant get past it. is it me? my mind set? or am i doomed to spend the rest of my life searching for just ONE thing that i can suceed at, one thing that i can do with ease and talent. i fear i'll never find it. next year is only going to prove to be more hectic, so i better lip it up now huh? next year's gonna consist of, band, oboe lessons, voice lessons, orchestra, pit,IMEA band, interior design classes/portfolios,voice recitals-agh i cant even name em all! thats only extra curricular- its like is there a point where you have to say anough is enough, otherwise u'll just break down? i hope i can just make it through highschool...thats all i'm hoping for. god speaking of that-how fast has high school flown by? damn, it seems like a month ago i was a soph. and 3 months ago i was a naieve freshman. now all i can think about is getting the hell out of there. i'm ready man. let me out. i honestly can't wait to get into interior design, its like i've got this passion for it that i cant describe, who knows if i'll be sucessful, but at least i'll like what i'm doing. aite enough of me rambling later*