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didnt have school today since it was 'professional day' for the teachers and i got feb vaykay next week, how hott is that? pretty hott. im not doing much today. probably just sit around. i dont really feel good and im tired.
thursday night which was last night i went to go see mike everytime i see him its the same thing everytime i like him but i hate how we are always doing something sexual when i see him i dont always want to and its not all about that. maybe i cant help myself cos i like him but i just dont understand why we cant watch a movie and just cuddle i tell him to keep his hands to himself but he doesnt, hes such a dirty boy. he wants me bad, like seriously. he wants to have sex with me but i dont see it like that ive only known him for about three months and we arent going out and i think he just wants sex from me althought im not about to give it up. i dont love him and we dont love each other. it can be hard and sometimes ill just think okay do it and get it over with but i know if i do it i will hate the fact that ive gaven it up to someone i didnt love and just a friend. and i hate when sex comes up but with him its up twenty four seven. im confused and dont know what to do. so really what is a girl to do?
me and amanda went there after work we picked up her boyfriend and headed to wills house her boyfriend picked him up and then went to mikes, they smoked up in his room it wasnt really anything but they smoked then we went to watch tv and these two girls came over that are mikes friends that he hasnt seen in so long and just eww they think they are the hottest shit but they were nice. i didnt say hi to them after he introduced them either. im such a nice person and you know that. they wanted to go to mcdonalds so we went there and they ate of course i didnt eat cos i never feel hungry when im with mike and hes never seen me eat. i find it really funny. will had to be home at 11 so i dropped him and amanda off at his house then went to mikes dude i am so stupid i hate when mike smokes and last night i let him drive my car and i bought him a pack of ciggeretts, why was i so stupid? i would talk about my cousin when she let her boyfriend drive her car and now look at me i let him drive my car its stupid but he wanted to drive and i was tired. he was making me nervous to cos he was going fast around corners and he was all like 'relax relax' i just wanted to bust out and say 'you know what fuck you! this car is under my moms name and im paying for it!' something he wouldnt understand cos he doesnt have a job and he doesnt care about peoples things. but i stayed at his house for like an hour then picked up amanda to go home. yup he drove to. if he doesnt pay me back for the ciggeretts hes going to get his ass kicked and im going to do it.
tomorrow is valentines day, yes i hate valentines day cos its really stupid. what about the people who dont have a valentine? couldnt it be depressing? i dont have one myself i dont know if i want to consider mike my valentine but ive been single all my life seventeens years in counting and only went out with someone when i was ten for a week which was nothing. and now mike. thats it. it didnt really bother me on valentines day but i hate the day. i cant get my check til two in the afternoon so i told amanda after i get my check we can go shopping so she can get her boyfriends stuff, and i will just go shopping for myself. i dont know what to get mike and i think ive spent enough on him for someone i aint going out with. then head to out to see mike and will. well shell go see will and ill go see mike, makes sense. uh huh. uh huh.
thursday night which was last night i went to go see mike everytime i see him its the same thing everytime i like him but i hate how we are always doing something sexual when i see him i dont always want to and its not all about that. maybe i cant help myself cos i like him but i just dont understand why we cant watch a movie and just cuddle i tell him to keep his hands to himself but he doesnt, hes such a dirty boy. he wants me bad, like seriously. he wants to have sex with me but i dont see it like that ive only known him for about three months and we arent going out and i think he just wants sex from me althought im not about to give it up. i dont love him and we dont love each other. it can be hard and sometimes ill just think okay do it and get it over with but i know if i do it i will hate the fact that ive gaven it up to someone i didnt love and just a friend. and i hate when sex comes up but with him its up twenty four seven. im confused and dont know what to do. so really what is a girl to do?
me and amanda went there after work we picked up her boyfriend and headed to wills house her boyfriend picked him up and then went to mikes, they smoked up in his room it wasnt really anything but they smoked then we went to watch tv and these two girls came over that are mikes friends that he hasnt seen in so long and just eww they think they are the hottest shit but they were nice. i didnt say hi to them after he introduced them either. im such a nice person and you know that. they wanted to go to mcdonalds so we went there and they ate of course i didnt eat cos i never feel hungry when im with mike and hes never seen me eat. i find it really funny. will had to be home at 11 so i dropped him and amanda off at his house then went to mikes dude i am so stupid i hate when mike smokes and last night i let him drive my car and i bought him a pack of ciggeretts, why was i so stupid? i would talk about my cousin when she let her boyfriend drive her car and now look at me i let him drive my car its stupid but he wanted to drive and i was tired. he was making me nervous to cos he was going fast around corners and he was all like 'relax relax' i just wanted to bust out and say 'you know what fuck you! this car is under my moms name and im paying for it!' something he wouldnt understand cos he doesnt have a job and he doesnt care about peoples things. but i stayed at his house for like an hour then picked up amanda to go home. yup he drove to. if he doesnt pay me back for the ciggeretts hes going to get his ass kicked and im going to do it.
tomorrow is valentines day, yes i hate valentines day cos its really stupid. what about the people who dont have a valentine? couldnt it be depressing? i dont have one myself i dont know if i want to consider mike my valentine but ive been single all my life seventeens years in counting and only went out with someone when i was ten for a week which was nothing. and now mike. thats it. it didnt really bother me on valentines day but i hate the day. i cant get my check til two in the afternoon so i told amanda after i get my check we can go shopping so she can get her boyfriends stuff, and i will just go shopping for myself. i dont know what to get mike and i think ive spent enough on him for someone i aint going out with. then head to out to see mike and will. well shell go see will and ill go see mike, makes sense. uh huh. uh huh.