(no subject)
Wow @ an unexpected IM. I need to stop unblocking everyone.
avd kayla (4:45:11 AM): you dont have to answer but our whole friends ship was a lie it wasnt your fault it was mine. thats just me after steph i didnt really want friends but i tried and i just couldnt do it and after the storm only made it worse. and as for as brian if thats his reason why didnt he come get me from that house why did he let that happen. and now your fuckin my brother so i have to deal with it i dont wanna have to leave my own house when you come over so our differences have to go, like you or hate you your his girlfriend and fromnow on thats it hey and bye ok im srry im not perfect ok thats it ok bye
bxttersweet (4:51:27 AM): You don't have to apologize because I really don't care. I'm an introverted person and that's just how I'm going to remain. I'm not stupid, I'm highly intelligent which I'm sure you're aware of, therefore I've already figured out what you've said, years ago.
And to correct you, I am not fucking your brother. I am loving your brother. He is not some simple toy I am playing with, he is someone that has somehow gotten into my heart, which would be the only reason I ever went after being with him in the first place. If you'd observed me well enough, you'd notice I'm not the relationship type of person. He's special to me.
Simply enough, though, I don't give a shit. I am not dumb enough to hold a grudge and damage myself because of the ignorance of someone else. I forgive and forget and that's it, because I'm not letting someone else's actions control my emotions.
You should be proud of yourself for admitting it. I've been waiting for that bullshit for a long ass time. And now that you've admitted it, you might want to pick your broken ass up off the floor and do something about your state of mind. Something like, I don't know, mend it, before you end up killing yourself.
avd kayla (4:53:01 AM): nah im good
bxttersweet (4:53:12 AM): Sure.
avd kayla (4:55:18 AM): id rather it be left on the floor where it needs to be
bxttersweet (4:55:37 AM): If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. It's kind of sad, but that's on you.
avd kayla (4:56:04 AM): i aint trippin thats what i am member
bxttersweet (4:56:14 AM): No, I don't.
avd kayla (4:57:27 AM): sad they dont get any worse than me and i kno that but i dont think thats gonna change and thats sad to say
bxttersweet (4:58:16 AM): If you're not willing enough to even love yourself or find some kind of pride, that is sad.
avd kayla (4:58:53 AM): i love myself but not enough and thats not gonna change i cant
bxttersweet (4:59:16 AM): Well, get a diary, that's all the advice I have.
avd kayla (4:59:31 AM): dont need it
bxttersweet (5:01:08 AM): Pretty soon, you're going to wake up all alone, by yourself. The silly girls you call friends think of you as a whore. The little boys you think are your brothers from another mother think of you the same. Before you think I'm attacking you, no, I wouldn't waste the energy. It stings only because reality is cold. I've heard things from people's mouths that you deny, but only in your head, because you don't have the will to truly speak aloud about it. Stop setting yourself up.
bxttersweet (5:01:33 AM): And you might want to stop treating your true brothers the way you do, because they love you, honestly and genuinely, and you're fucking them up.
bxttersweet (5:02:03 AM): Don't be so toxic to the only people you really can count on.
avd kayla (5:02:11 AM): how am i fuckin them up?
bxttersweet (5:03:17 AM): You come home, and you take everything out on them. You talk to them like they're dogs. I retract my statement on fucking them up, because they're stronger than that. Instead, I'll say, you're fucking yourself up. You ought to think to the future.
avd kayla (5:04:17 AM): and the way they talk to me is ok right
bxttersweet (5:04:36 AM): I don't have anything else knowledgeable to share with you, because I've already crossed the line that seperates me from talking to you, and helping you, and I have no help to give someone who isn't a true friend. And you aren't a true friend, are you?
avd kayla (5:04:58 AM): guess not
bxttersweet (5:05:12 AM): Well then. You have a lot to think about.
avd kayla (5:05:40 AM): not really you may have not done much but a true friend doesnt date her lil brother
avd kayla (5:05:42 AM): srry
bxttersweet (5:06:20 AM): Use that as an excuse to justify yourself all you want, I really don't care.
bxttersweet (5:06:31 AM): It doesn't bother me the least bit what you think.
avd kayla (5:06:32 AM): its not
avd kayla (5:06:50 AM): but your no better than me thats what im sayin
bxttersweet (5:07:16 AM): Yeah, right. Shows how much you know about emotions.
bxttersweet (5:07:53 AM): I don't have to justify myself to you or to anyone else, for that matter, and quite frankly I don't give a fuck enough to do so anyways.
bxttersweet (5:08:01 AM): I care about me, and only me, and Kyle.
bxttersweet (5:08:07 AM): You're silly to have forgotten how and who I am.
bxttersweet (5:08:35 AM): I will excel in any which way I can if it benefits me. Everyone else will just turn their backs anyways, so I really could give a flying shit.
bxttersweet (5:09:01 AM): I figured you out way before you think that I did, and obviously, what I figured out would be that you aren't and were never a true friend.
bxttersweet (5:09:06 AM): So why should I care, that I date your brother?
bxttersweet (5:09:18 AM): Riddle me why I should care, that my heart is falling more and more towards him?
bxttersweet (5:09:28 AM): The web we weave, huh?
bxttersweet (5:11:11 AM): Maybe if you were a true friend, enough for me to be a true friend as well, rather than watch you tangle yourself up in lies, I would have resisted your brother's charm. His flirting. The way he'd bury his face in my neck while we were falling asleep.
bxttersweet (5:11:27 AM): But I didn't, and obviously, I had no reason to, considering you're not a true friend. Why would I be loyal to someone who's unloyal to me?
bxttersweet (5:11:39 AM): Makes no sense, does it?
bxttersweet (5:11:43 AM): Makes perfect sense to me.
avd kayla (5:11:51 AM): i aint trippin
bxttersweet (5:12:09 AM): Be more cautious the next time you try to fuck someone over.
avd kayla (5:14:16 AM): ashley i didnt do it on purpose i did it because i didnt care and like you said i am losin things i never thought id lose ive tried to change but its not happenin
bxttersweet (5:14:33 AM): It's okay, Kayla.
avd kayla (5:14:49 AM): no its never gonna be ok
bxttersweet (5:15:46 AM): It is okay. I'm immune to that type of shit. It didn't work too well on me, I saw through it. I'm fine. You should be fine. The truth is out, why wouldn't you be? If all along, you had to hide it, now that it is out and I really don't give a shit and actually knew the whole time, why wouldn't it be okay? There's no problem.
bxttersweet (5:15:53 AM): The only problems you have don't concern me, at all.
hahahahaha