difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over
I am excited for this. I’ve been meaning to reread all the novels again, and this gives me a reason and a time frame in which to do so.
Before I go on, let me first say a hello to all my new friends. (Sweet Davey, there's a lot of you! You all make me feel very singular and fabulous and I thank you for that.)
I am in an A Perfect Circle mood. Holy crap, the gloom and the swoon radiating off of me. I feel like writing. I feel dancing. I feel like crying. (This could all have something to do with my hormones, but I feel like blaming A Perfect Circle instead.)
I think I’m going to go work on Runaground. I’ve been neglecting it of late, foolishly thinking I had better things to do. I’ve just been so lacklustre about everything. All I want to do is escape into other people’s work, other people’s imaginations. I haven’t had the patience and the strength for my own. I’m just so fucking lethargic. Ennui. I have ennui in vast amounts. I hate the fact that I’m not doing anything with my life, but I can’t find the energy and the will to change anything. Maybe Runaground will be the first step. I have so many things I want to do; write a screenplay, start playing the keyboard again, learn the guitar… Maybe if I start writing I will be inspired to take a hold of my life again, find reality once more and join in. Reality can’t be as horrid as I’m making it.