(no subject)
I don't know how to start this post out without sounding repetitive. Seems like most of the ones I make are me going "Well, it's been a while, blahblahblah" or "Hey, yet another post" and I get tired of seeing myself say the same shit again and again. :P So I'ma just dive right in.
I've been having a lot of nightmares this week, which is unusual because I never really dream at all. And it figures, I'm finally dreaming, and they're all nightmares. So far I've had 4 in a row. The first night had some freak storm, with lightning and tornados. It was of me and Tiff living somewhere (it wasn't the place we have now, it was some other place that looked too damn nice for us to ever afford), and I'm watching the storm outside through a sliding glass door. I'm watching the lightning strike rooftops, splintering them and throwing the debris right in my direction, like the storm was out to get me. I go outside for some reason that I can't remember, and I'm looking around and I notice a woman in some other house looking up at the sky in horror, and then all of a sudden, everything gets darker, and she starts to scream while staring at the sky, and while she's screaming, her face turns into some ghostly looking thing, where the eyesockets go black and there is blood surrounding her eyes and pouring down her face. I turn around in time to see lighting strike our house, and then the house collapses on itself with Tiff still inside. I remember screaming and running towards the house to try to get to Tiff and save her, and then I woke up. I picked my head up off the pillow to look at Tiff to see if she was still there, and god, I was relieved she was. I was so scared. The clock said it was about 4:30am, I just remember being so upset by it, so I scooted closer to her and tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't, and my alarm was going to go off soon anyway because it was almost time to get ready for work, so I said fuck it, got up, took a shower and got ready. Being in the shower was wierd, I kept looking behind me, I kept getting freaked out like there was going to be something or someone behind me. And anyone who really knows me, knows that's really odd for me, because I'm not really freaked out by much.
Thinking about that one, I think it shows how much storms run my life. Any time there's a good storm, I'm most likely at work, away from Tiff, so if anything happened to her, I wouldn't be able to get there in time to save her. And losing her is my worst nightmare.
The next night I had a nightmare about being in some manhole doing some sort of work, and then all of a sudden a pair of arms shoots out of the water, and tries to drag me under, with me struggling to get away.
I think that one is about being sucked in or being dragged under by my job, despite how bad I want to leave and get different job. You all know enough about my opinions of my job.
The next night, I was dreaming that some woman was chasing me around trying to kill me. She had a mask on, so I was never able to see who it was. I eventually lost her, but then I realized that I had lost my wedding ring, and I was freaking out and running around trying to find it, and then I thought I found it, but it was among a bunch of other rings, all of which had serial numbers deeply engraved on the outside of them. So I kept looking through them trying to find it, but I never was able to, and I woke up.
I'm not too sure what that one was about, but I think it shows another one of my fears, which is accidentally losing my wedding ring and not being able to find it. I have no idea what the woman trying to kill me was about. Tiff made a joke that if I ever did lose my wedding ring, it would be her who would kill me haha :P The whole thing where she was wearing a mask is interesting though. I'm not sure what that whole thing means.
And then last night I had yet another dream where I my back was itching like crazy, it felt like it was on fire. I take off my shirt and look at it in the mirror, and I notice that it's covered with this huge red rash all over it, with boils and blisters all over it. I start itching at it some more and try to pop some of the blisters (gross, I know), and then all the wasps start breaking out of the boils and then swarm all over me, I remember feeling every single stinger pierce my skin as they started to cover me, and then I woke up. I can't remember what time it was, but I remember being able to get back to sleep, and then I had yet another wierd ass dream, and it was about some guy who was drilling a hole from one side of his head all the way through to the other side so you could see right through it. The wierd thing is there was not a drop of blood, and you could see everything inside. And then the guy starts stuffing something into the holes, and he's stuffing a lot of crap in there. For some reason, I think it was food. Fucking wierd.
Now those two I'm not sure what the hell they're about. The only thing I can relate to the first one is that I was changing air filters at the plant yesterday for our blowers, and in one of them there was a single wasp building a nest. I simply grabbed the filter up and tossed it aside, and then the wasp kept coming back to the place where to filter was, and I kept beating him away with my hat. He eventually left (or got knocked out, one of the two haha). But yeah, that's all I can relate to that one. Hmm. Actually I guess if I think about it, I'm starting to notice a few bumps on my back, I think they're just pimples though. Or moles. Eh. Not too worried about it either way. Still, that dream made no fucking sense.
The second one, no freaking clue. All I can sum up is brain food??? Haha no freaking clue. If anyone has any opinions on my dreams, I'd be glad to hear em, so I can try to make some sort of sense out of em. I hardly ever dream, like I said, and whenever I do, it's usually a nightmare. It just sucks that I've been having them more often now, and I don't know why, it's not like there's some big change going on in my life right now where I should be having all these dreams. I dunno. I hope my brain isn't going wacko on me.
Well, on to other things now. The new guy at work has been there about a month now, and he's been freaking awesome. We've gotten a ton of crap done that has needed to be done for quite some time now, and he's catching on pretty quick. He's also taken a ton of notes on everything I've taught him, which is good, shows he wants to learn. He also asks a ton of questions, which I have no problem with, it was how I learned. So it's been going really well. His name is Craig, just so you'll know who I'm talking about whenever I mention his name :P
I've been slacking off on my artwork big time lately. I want to do more, but I find myself getting very frustrated with it lately. I think it's mainly because I've been trying to push myself to do environments, which is pretty much new territory for me. Because then it's all about perspective, dimensions, color theory, and physics, believe it or not; how one thing reacts to another thing, and what it looks like. A waterfall, for instance. Sure, you can scribble down something on a piece of paper that resembles a waterfall, and say it's a waterfall, but does it really *look* like a waterfall? The way the water cascades down the steep slope, splashing off of rocks and crashing into the water below, sending droplets into the air to land several feet away. The way the receiving body of water reacts to the waterfall, the violent churning and undertow, the slight waves it creates as the water laps up onto the shore. The reaction of the surrounding flora to the body of water, how wet and slippery the ground is around it, the algae and moss growing on nearby rocks and trees because of it. See, I take all this into account, and it's infuriating to me as to how I'm going to try to implement all of this *realistically*. All while trying to get proportion, perspective and color right at the same time. It's farking hard, dude. It's all practice, practice, practice, but my problem is I know what it should look like, but I can't even get close to what I have in my head onto a piece of paper, so I get frustrated and quit. Ugh.
Well, it's lunch time now, so I'ma take my lunch down to the Parks and Streets Dept. building and watch The Price is Right. Btw, fuck you, Carlos Mencia, for trying to make fun of a classic show. Get off TV already. You're not even funny anymore, it's all the same fucking jokes over and over. Fucking hack.
I've been having a lot of nightmares this week, which is unusual because I never really dream at all. And it figures, I'm finally dreaming, and they're all nightmares. So far I've had 4 in a row. The first night had some freak storm, with lightning and tornados. It was of me and Tiff living somewhere (it wasn't the place we have now, it was some other place that looked too damn nice for us to ever afford), and I'm watching the storm outside through a sliding glass door. I'm watching the lightning strike rooftops, splintering them and throwing the debris right in my direction, like the storm was out to get me. I go outside for some reason that I can't remember, and I'm looking around and I notice a woman in some other house looking up at the sky in horror, and then all of a sudden, everything gets darker, and she starts to scream while staring at the sky, and while she's screaming, her face turns into some ghostly looking thing, where the eyesockets go black and there is blood surrounding her eyes and pouring down her face. I turn around in time to see lighting strike our house, and then the house collapses on itself with Tiff still inside. I remember screaming and running towards the house to try to get to Tiff and save her, and then I woke up. I picked my head up off the pillow to look at Tiff to see if she was still there, and god, I was relieved she was. I was so scared. The clock said it was about 4:30am, I just remember being so upset by it, so I scooted closer to her and tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't, and my alarm was going to go off soon anyway because it was almost time to get ready for work, so I said fuck it, got up, took a shower and got ready. Being in the shower was wierd, I kept looking behind me, I kept getting freaked out like there was going to be something or someone behind me. And anyone who really knows me, knows that's really odd for me, because I'm not really freaked out by much.
Thinking about that one, I think it shows how much storms run my life. Any time there's a good storm, I'm most likely at work, away from Tiff, so if anything happened to her, I wouldn't be able to get there in time to save her. And losing her is my worst nightmare.
The next night I had a nightmare about being in some manhole doing some sort of work, and then all of a sudden a pair of arms shoots out of the water, and tries to drag me under, with me struggling to get away.
I think that one is about being sucked in or being dragged under by my job, despite how bad I want to leave and get different job. You all know enough about my opinions of my job.
The next night, I was dreaming that some woman was chasing me around trying to kill me. She had a mask on, so I was never able to see who it was. I eventually lost her, but then I realized that I had lost my wedding ring, and I was freaking out and running around trying to find it, and then I thought I found it, but it was among a bunch of other rings, all of which had serial numbers deeply engraved on the outside of them. So I kept looking through them trying to find it, but I never was able to, and I woke up.
I'm not too sure what that one was about, but I think it shows another one of my fears, which is accidentally losing my wedding ring and not being able to find it. I have no idea what the woman trying to kill me was about. Tiff made a joke that if I ever did lose my wedding ring, it would be her who would kill me haha :P The whole thing where she was wearing a mask is interesting though. I'm not sure what that whole thing means.
And then last night I had yet another dream where I my back was itching like crazy, it felt like it was on fire. I take off my shirt and look at it in the mirror, and I notice that it's covered with this huge red rash all over it, with boils and blisters all over it. I start itching at it some more and try to pop some of the blisters (gross, I know), and then all the wasps start breaking out of the boils and then swarm all over me, I remember feeling every single stinger pierce my skin as they started to cover me, and then I woke up. I can't remember what time it was, but I remember being able to get back to sleep, and then I had yet another wierd ass dream, and it was about some guy who was drilling a hole from one side of his head all the way through to the other side so you could see right through it. The wierd thing is there was not a drop of blood, and you could see everything inside. And then the guy starts stuffing something into the holes, and he's stuffing a lot of crap in there. For some reason, I think it was food. Fucking wierd.
Now those two I'm not sure what the hell they're about. The only thing I can relate to the first one is that I was changing air filters at the plant yesterday for our blowers, and in one of them there was a single wasp building a nest. I simply grabbed the filter up and tossed it aside, and then the wasp kept coming back to the place where to filter was, and I kept beating him away with my hat. He eventually left (or got knocked out, one of the two haha). But yeah, that's all I can relate to that one. Hmm. Actually I guess if I think about it, I'm starting to notice a few bumps on my back, I think they're just pimples though. Or moles. Eh. Not too worried about it either way. Still, that dream made no fucking sense.
The second one, no freaking clue. All I can sum up is brain food??? Haha no freaking clue. If anyone has any opinions on my dreams, I'd be glad to hear em, so I can try to make some sort of sense out of em. I hardly ever dream, like I said, and whenever I do, it's usually a nightmare. It just sucks that I've been having them more often now, and I don't know why, it's not like there's some big change going on in my life right now where I should be having all these dreams. I dunno. I hope my brain isn't going wacko on me.
Well, on to other things now. The new guy at work has been there about a month now, and he's been freaking awesome. We've gotten a ton of crap done that has needed to be done for quite some time now, and he's catching on pretty quick. He's also taken a ton of notes on everything I've taught him, which is good, shows he wants to learn. He also asks a ton of questions, which I have no problem with, it was how I learned. So it's been going really well. His name is Craig, just so you'll know who I'm talking about whenever I mention his name :P
I've been slacking off on my artwork big time lately. I want to do more, but I find myself getting very frustrated with it lately. I think it's mainly because I've been trying to push myself to do environments, which is pretty much new territory for me. Because then it's all about perspective, dimensions, color theory, and physics, believe it or not; how one thing reacts to another thing, and what it looks like. A waterfall, for instance. Sure, you can scribble down something on a piece of paper that resembles a waterfall, and say it's a waterfall, but does it really *look* like a waterfall? The way the water cascades down the steep slope, splashing off of rocks and crashing into the water below, sending droplets into the air to land several feet away. The way the receiving body of water reacts to the waterfall, the violent churning and undertow, the slight waves it creates as the water laps up onto the shore. The reaction of the surrounding flora to the body of water, how wet and slippery the ground is around it, the algae and moss growing on nearby rocks and trees because of it. See, I take all this into account, and it's infuriating to me as to how I'm going to try to implement all of this *realistically*. All while trying to get proportion, perspective and color right at the same time. It's farking hard, dude. It's all practice, practice, practice, but my problem is I know what it should look like, but I can't even get close to what I have in my head onto a piece of paper, so I get frustrated and quit. Ugh.
Well, it's lunch time now, so I'ma take my lunch down to the Parks and Streets Dept. building and watch The Price is Right. Btw, fuck you, Carlos Mencia, for trying to make fun of a classic show. Get off TV already. You're not even funny anymore, it's all the same fucking jokes over and over. Fucking hack.