that time of the month again.

[xshardsofwordsx]

ok am i the only one that cant handle life as an adult? seriosuly. everyone seems to have a grip on things. and i want to know the secret. cause i cant stand doing some job that takes up most of my time and i dont really get to do much living anyway. so i dont see the point. i cant be on my own here. i guess there isnt much of a way to change it. perhaps i could go to college, but i dont like school. am i just fucked forever then? i try to stop being stubborn and just "shut up and do" but then i get tired, exhausted and i just dont care anymore. what is the drive that keeps everyone going. cause as far as i am concerned i dont have much to keep me going. i moved to new york because i thought maybe a change of atmosphere would help. but not really, the depression came back... what do i need to do to at least appear as if i am normal and ok inside. to often i let myself go and say what i feel whether it be at work to people i really care about or just somewhere that maybe it would have been better just to keep my mouth shut. i guess i just need to be reassured that i am not alone here. i don't like to say that i feel that way, because it is a cop out. but honestly, someone give me advice on how to keep it together. as of lately it seems like everyday i am on the verge of just losing it and telling everyone to get fucked. i know that if i do that though, i will lose my job, apartment, friends and everything i actually do have.

i just really want a hug.