And so the story goes
Jesus Christ. Sweet Jesus.
Tonight made me realize that it just all goes, gone like that. High school for me is almost gone. I still feel like that awkward 14 year old walking into Timon freshman year, nervous and unsuspecting about the world. I didn't know what I wanted to do, or where I was going, or who I was. I knew not one fucking thing except that I was staring down the long end of some crazy years.
It's going to be 4 years later, and I still get nervous sometimes, although I know Timon in and out. I still don't know what to expect the world to hit me with. I still don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life, where I'm going, and most certainly I don't know who I am. Only thing I know is that I'm staring down the other end of the spectrum. I'm 17 years old. Sweet Mother Mary. I have to grow up, go to college, be an adult, live in the "real world", make a living, go through life, earn some wages, marry a wife.
I don't care who you are, you're still a kid. Inside of myself, I'm still a kid. I'm still lovesick and hopeless and at the end of the day I just want to hold somebody and be held. I want innocence and beauty and calm. The violence and the reality of the world just scares me to death.
My buddies are going away again, and this time it could be forever. Matt and Bubba are leaving for Florida till about January, and I won't see Matty K again till at least February. Dale's going in a couple months himself. It just struck me that for all the poker games; the "sexings"; the nights at the pool hall; snorting Coke; Sampler; Drama Club musicals with Matt and Dale; going to a lonesome little coffee shop with Bubba; hell, even Hobo Poker tonight with Dale. I'm going to miss all of it, and it tears me up inside. But I know life's calling us all to move on, move in different directions. It just goes by so fast.
One day it'll be me saying goodbye to the life I knew and to that building on 601 McKinley. One day I'll be the one growing up and moving on. One day I'll be saying my goodbyes and hugging the ones I love dearly, reminiscing about all of the good times past.
I just hope that one day doesn't come too soon.
Tonight made me realize that it just all goes, gone like that. High school for me is almost gone. I still feel like that awkward 14 year old walking into Timon freshman year, nervous and unsuspecting about the world. I didn't know what I wanted to do, or where I was going, or who I was. I knew not one fucking thing except that I was staring down the long end of some crazy years.
It's going to be 4 years later, and I still get nervous sometimes, although I know Timon in and out. I still don't know what to expect the world to hit me with. I still don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life, where I'm going, and most certainly I don't know who I am. Only thing I know is that I'm staring down the other end of the spectrum. I'm 17 years old. Sweet Mother Mary. I have to grow up, go to college, be an adult, live in the "real world", make a living, go through life, earn some wages, marry a wife.
I don't care who you are, you're still a kid. Inside of myself, I'm still a kid. I'm still lovesick and hopeless and at the end of the day I just want to hold somebody and be held. I want innocence and beauty and calm. The violence and the reality of the world just scares me to death.
My buddies are going away again, and this time it could be forever. Matt and Bubba are leaving for Florida till about January, and I won't see Matty K again till at least February. Dale's going in a couple months himself. It just struck me that for all the poker games; the "sexings"; the nights at the pool hall; snorting Coke; Sampler; Drama Club musicals with Matt and Dale; going to a lonesome little coffee shop with Bubba; hell, even Hobo Poker tonight with Dale. I'm going to miss all of it, and it tears me up inside. But I know life's calling us all to move on, move in different directions. It just goes by so fast.
One day it'll be me saying goodbye to the life I knew and to that building on 601 McKinley. One day I'll be the one growing up and moving on. One day I'll be saying my goodbyes and hugging the ones I love dearly, reminiscing about all of the good times past.
I just hope that one day doesn't come too soon.