Mar 11, 2011 21:37
Me and the besties have been listening to Robert Ohotto's radio show every week. This man is phenomenal. Srsly. So many of the things he says just leave me (us) completely blown away.. He's an Intuitive Life Strategist. I love that he's so informal, so comfortable. Listening to him is just like having a chat with a friend. So he's easy to listen to. But he's amazing. Such a gift.
We've been listening to a seminar he gave called "Who Owns Your Chakras" which is just... I can't. The idea is how things get blocked up in your chakras. How past wounds, other people's influence, affect how your chakras work or don't work. (I'm not explaining this very well, but he's way better at it.) He explained the chakras in a way that I've personally never heard them talked about before. Like when you have a chakra blocked, it's because the Universe is trying to send something, a new archetype, down thru the chakras and into your life path, but it's getting hung up where your chakras are unhealthy or out of your own power. The biggest one for me was the 3rd chakra. I have a lot of digestive issues & have for years. They went away for awhile but started up again lately, making me feel sick or like I'm totally starving but then it feels like I ate too much & I feel sick again. Or my food goes right thru me leaving me feeling really weak. But the digestive system is connected to teh 3rd chakra. It's where the 3rd chakra sits. The 3rd chakra represents self-esteem, confidence, ego, personal values, integrity. I know that these are things I know are some of my biggest issues. So I'm kinda blown away that all this time my digestive problems have actually been the physical manifestation inside my body of these 3rd chakra blocks. Like woah.
I'm realising that I've got some major boundary issues to work on. Violating other people's boundaries sometimes, but most allowing my own to be violated. I really don't hold enuf of myself, my heart, my soul, to be sacred. I think that I have to share everything with everyone and hold nothing back. I give so much of myself away trying to insure that people love me. That I have security. These issues come from my childhood. I know this now. Things that happened to me when I was little built these ideas into my head. Into my psyche. Making me think that if I became what people wanted me to be then they would love me. That I could somehow fill the voids inside them and then they would need me and not throw me away. That I would be their favourite. But that's not how it works. It never has. I just get taken advantage of, used to fill their void, and they end up resenting me for the person they wanted me to become in the first place for them. It's such an unhealthy pattern that I seem to keep repeating.
At some point I have to value myself first. I have to learn that if people are going to love me then they have to love me for everything that I am and be willing to forgive the things they don't. That's how love works.
I'm tired of reshaping myself, twisting myself in knots, trying to become what everyone else needs. Basing my worth, my happyness on whether or not everyone loves me.
thinking thoughts,
robert ohotto,
who owns your chakras,
spiritual work,
soul esteem