(no subject)
Went to see The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus with the girls tonight. So sad that it's Heath Ledger's last movie but I think that it's beautifull that his friends stepped up to finish the filming so it wouldn't be lost. <3 In the one scene where Johnny Depp is talking about death and immortality you can really tell what he was feeling. I think it was a really interesting movie. I love the filming of it, if that makes sense. The visuals. I'm a lil conflicted still on how I feel about the ending tho... It really bothered me that Tony had to die and that the Dr. couldn't be reunited with his daughter, but the girls explained it to me the way they see it. Tony was redeemed by his act of cutting the Dr. down and hanging himself, so he's not really gone. I guess I just have a real issue with happy endings. I've said it before...
Maybe I'm just having too much trouble with my pessimism lately. Actually, I know I am. I've been struggling a lot with being pessimistic, only expecting bad things & things to go wrong. I've been really stressed and so frustrated. And the problems coming up don't really help. There is still fighting around the house that I don't understand half the time. Mike is still making things really hard by his lack of caring what's going on at home. Hermie's car needs a new transmission, which the repair guy is talking over $2000 (effffff) so we're trying to work out hopefully a cheaper way to make the happen and in the meantime we're sharing my car, which I know from when my car was down, makes a person totally crazy and feel like they have no independence.
On top of everything else, I've lost someone I love. Clarence, who was one of the guardians that raised me and for all intense purposes like my father, died Wednesday morning. I got the phone call while I was at work. I suppose that I could have gone home, but I took a moment to myself in the back and cried. Called my sister and my mom (my birth mom) to let them know. I managed to compose myself so I stayed at work bc I figured what good does it do for me to go home and think about it when my family really needs me to be working. I know it would have been ok if I'd had to leave work, but Clarence and I weren't terribly close, so I was ok. I'm really upset more than anything for Marion. They were married like 50 years... and now she can't even give him a decent funeral bc she can't afford it. So they're cremating him and releasing his ashes to her and the family is having a memorial dinner at the American Legion next weekend. So sad...
And thru talking about how I feel about this and other things I realised today that my view of family as being more than just your blood actually comes from growing up with Marion & Clarence. Most of their family is at least partially strays they have taken in or married into. And since I started visiting my blood parents again in the 6th grade I have been made to feel guilty for even caring about my other family... and I've been kind of neglectiing my connection with them bc of it. But I realise now that I've been doing it and I don't want to do that to them anymore. They mean as much to me as my blood does. And there's no reason to treat them any less than that. Honestly, there are a few times in my life that someone has said 'mother' and Marion came to mind faster than my birth mother did, which I always made myself feel bad for.. but Marion has often been more of a mother to me. And she's never played the damn games that my mother will swear she doesn't play with me... this is getting heavy.. I need to breathe...
IN LESS EMO NEWS..
We've been watching Heroes. I love it. My new fave ship is Mohinder/Peter, which I'm sure there is some mashed up name for that, but idk what it is yet lol. Srsly. The second they were on-screen together I was all 'oh yeah i c u thar'. We're only on like the 4th episode so far but I'm realllly into it. I think right now Peter is my fave.. but I think I could really love Isaac.. he's just so broken... Kind of hating on Nathan atm for the way he's been treating Peter, but I've been told he comes round.. I'll wait for it. I think Hiro is adorb, but his bf Ando is a bit of a bad influence on him lol. I think Clair is starting to come around about what she can do with her powers. I shouldn't love the fact that she drove that jerk into the side of a building, but I kinda do. Gotta watch that lil cheerleader. She could be dangerous lol. I'm worried for Mark now bc I think the black dood just veggied his brain with a Vulcan mind meld or some shit. Srsly wigged out about Sylar and just how evil he's gonna be. I have (somewhat) and understanding that things on this show cannot all end well, as it is a comic book type story and a serial killer DID show up in the first ep. I will try to be prepared.. but I'm sure I will still wig the fuck out when it happens...
In musik news, Jamie Archer (from X-Factor) is apparently gonna be recording an album once the tour is over. I'm really happy to hear that!
I'm also very amused at the line about getting up to trouble with Olly & Danyl bc we imagined all season that they were totally OT3 XD
Apparently the boys have been twittering about 'MWK date'. I haven't seen these tweets, but all the fangirls are buzzing about it. I'm not sure how that works or what it means, but I will have to wait untill things become slightly less cryptic I suppose. Damn those boys.
Neal's throwing out Ghostbusters references:
We've also been watching Burn Notice (from the beginning) and I think the girls are liking it. I love it bc Michael, Fiona & Sam remind me of an AU Roy, Risa & Maes lol. It might only make sense to our fanon of their relationships, but it's ridic close to how we play them. That being said, I'm not really much for the whole Michael/Fiona thing bc I NEVER saw Roy with Risa and that makes things a bit awkward in some scenes.. but what can you do. I just try to watch around them. XD
OH! I'm also really stoked that Blue October will apparently be touring again this summer, which is really awesome bc they kinda had to cut off tour last year bc Justin was having some problems. I'm very happy to see them going back out! IDEK how we're gonna see all the shows we're no doubt gonna wanna see this year.. but I'm praying we can make as many as possible...
Also, if you care (lol) Anoop apparently has an album in the works:
"The wide ranging discussion included deets on Anoop’s upcoming album-a Bollywood-influenced pop album tentatively called “All Is Fair”. "
random insertion: plz look at the icons on this page and EXPLAIN TO ME how Tommy is claiming to be straight?! NOT. BUYING. IT. Bi at the very least, bitch. Don't even try lying. Srsly.
YES THIS ENTRY IS RANDOMMMM STFU
I missed the memo that they are apparently working on an Umbrella Academy. Interestingggg. I like the fact that Geetard is very involved. I await more info. Come to me, info. Come to me.
I am a bit fascinated by this new "statistics" thingy that tells me who has been creeping on my eljay. I just figured I am lame so nobody comments on my stupidity bc I am not running about commenting on their posts but apparently ppl are sekritly reading my posts. Why not say hi you eljay creepers? I realise I'm not much of a commenter lately since I hardly have time to actually check my flist really, but if you took the trouble to come by and read it, why not say something....
Maybe I'm just having too much trouble with my pessimism lately. Actually, I know I am. I've been struggling a lot with being pessimistic, only expecting bad things & things to go wrong. I've been really stressed and so frustrated. And the problems coming up don't really help. There is still fighting around the house that I don't understand half the time. Mike is still making things really hard by his lack of caring what's going on at home. Hermie's car needs a new transmission, which the repair guy is talking over $2000 (effffff) so we're trying to work out hopefully a cheaper way to make the happen and in the meantime we're sharing my car, which I know from when my car was down, makes a person totally crazy and feel like they have no independence.
On top of everything else, I've lost someone I love. Clarence, who was one of the guardians that raised me and for all intense purposes like my father, died Wednesday morning. I got the phone call while I was at work. I suppose that I could have gone home, but I took a moment to myself in the back and cried. Called my sister and my mom (my birth mom) to let them know. I managed to compose myself so I stayed at work bc I figured what good does it do for me to go home and think about it when my family really needs me to be working. I know it would have been ok if I'd had to leave work, but Clarence and I weren't terribly close, so I was ok. I'm really upset more than anything for Marion. They were married like 50 years... and now she can't even give him a decent funeral bc she can't afford it. So they're cremating him and releasing his ashes to her and the family is having a memorial dinner at the American Legion next weekend. So sad...
And thru talking about how I feel about this and other things I realised today that my view of family as being more than just your blood actually comes from growing up with Marion & Clarence. Most of their family is at least partially strays they have taken in or married into. And since I started visiting my blood parents again in the 6th grade I have been made to feel guilty for even caring about my other family... and I've been kind of neglectiing my connection with them bc of it. But I realise now that I've been doing it and I don't want to do that to them anymore. They mean as much to me as my blood does. And there's no reason to treat them any less than that. Honestly, there are a few times in my life that someone has said 'mother' and Marion came to mind faster than my birth mother did, which I always made myself feel bad for.. but Marion has often been more of a mother to me. And she's never played the damn games that my mother will swear she doesn't play with me... this is getting heavy.. I need to breathe...
IN LESS EMO NEWS..
We've been watching Heroes. I love it. My new fave ship is Mohinder/Peter, which I'm sure there is some mashed up name for that, but idk what it is yet lol. Srsly. The second they were on-screen together I was all 'oh yeah i c u thar'. We're only on like the 4th episode so far but I'm realllly into it. I think right now Peter is my fave.. but I think I could really love Isaac.. he's just so broken... Kind of hating on Nathan atm for the way he's been treating Peter, but I've been told he comes round.. I'll wait for it. I think Hiro is adorb, but his bf Ando is a bit of a bad influence on him lol. I think Clair is starting to come around about what she can do with her powers. I shouldn't love the fact that she drove that jerk into the side of a building, but I kinda do. Gotta watch that lil cheerleader. She could be dangerous lol. I'm worried for Mark now bc I think the black dood just veggied his brain with a Vulcan mind meld or some shit. Srsly wigged out about Sylar and just how evil he's gonna be. I have (somewhat) and understanding that things on this show cannot all end well, as it is a comic book type story and a serial killer DID show up in the first ep. I will try to be prepared.. but I'm sure I will still wig the fuck out when it happens...
In musik news, Jamie Archer (from X-Factor) is apparently gonna be recording an album once the tour is over. I'm really happy to hear that!
I'm also very amused at the line about getting up to trouble with Olly & Danyl bc we imagined all season that they were totally OT3 XD
Apparently the boys have been twittering about 'MWK date'. I haven't seen these tweets, but all the fangirls are buzzing about it. I'm not sure how that works or what it means, but I will have to wait untill things become slightly less cryptic I suppose. Damn those boys.
Neal's throwing out Ghostbusters references:
We've also been watching Burn Notice (from the beginning) and I think the girls are liking it. I love it bc Michael, Fiona & Sam remind me of an AU Roy, Risa & Maes lol. It might only make sense to our fanon of their relationships, but it's ridic close to how we play them. That being said, I'm not really much for the whole Michael/Fiona thing bc I NEVER saw Roy with Risa and that makes things a bit awkward in some scenes.. but what can you do. I just try to watch around them. XD
OH! I'm also really stoked that Blue October will apparently be touring again this summer, which is really awesome bc they kinda had to cut off tour last year bc Justin was having some problems. I'm very happy to see them going back out! IDEK how we're gonna see all the shows we're no doubt gonna wanna see this year.. but I'm praying we can make as many as possible...
Also, if you care (lol) Anoop apparently has an album in the works:
"The wide ranging discussion included deets on Anoop’s upcoming album-a Bollywood-influenced pop album tentatively called “All Is Fair”. "
random insertion: plz look at the icons on this page and EXPLAIN TO ME how Tommy is claiming to be straight?! NOT. BUYING. IT. Bi at the very least, bitch. Don't even try lying. Srsly.
YES THIS ENTRY IS RANDOMMMM STFU
I missed the memo that they are apparently working on an Umbrella Academy. Interestingggg. I like the fact that Geetard is very involved. I await more info. Come to me, info. Come to me.
I am a bit fascinated by this new "statistics" thingy that tells me who has been creeping on my eljay. I just figured I am lame so nobody comments on my stupidity bc I am not running about commenting on their posts but apparently ppl are sekritly reading my posts. Why not say hi you eljay creepers? I realise I'm not much of a commenter lately since I hardly have time to actually check my flist really, but if you took the trouble to come by and read it, why not say something....