(no subject)
2 months.
I never thought this day would come. 60 days without using my behaviors. It seems so surreal, yet at the same time so normal. The thought of purging seems so foreign to me, but I haven't binged yet, and I know that will be a true test if/when I do.
I was watching a cartoon last night and something profound was actually said.
You can't let your past control your future
Which is so true. We can't change what happened in the past. We can only act in the present to determine how our future will be. It's so easy to get stuck in should have beens and what ifs that you can't move forward and move on.
At Renfrew there was a 58 year old woman who had been struggling with her eating disorder for 40 years. This is one of the most amazing person I have ever met. She didn't talk about all the years she had wasted, she was talked about looking forward to all the years she was going to have, free of this eating disorder.
Not to shift this post but I weighed myself today. The first time since I left Renfrew, Dec. 18. My weight has essentially been the same number for about 2 months now, so I am pretty certain my body has found it's set point.
Things are going to be alright. Have faith. And never give up. I've probably put this in here before but I want to put it in here again. I read this as my goodby at 'Frew.
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
---Jill Wolf
<33333333
I never thought this day would come. 60 days without using my behaviors. It seems so surreal, yet at the same time so normal. The thought of purging seems so foreign to me, but I haven't binged yet, and I know that will be a true test if/when I do.
I was watching a cartoon last night and something profound was actually said.
You can't let your past control your future
Which is so true. We can't change what happened in the past. We can only act in the present to determine how our future will be. It's so easy to get stuck in should have beens and what ifs that you can't move forward and move on.
At Renfrew there was a 58 year old woman who had been struggling with her eating disorder for 40 years. This is one of the most amazing person I have ever met. She didn't talk about all the years she had wasted, she was talked about looking forward to all the years she was going to have, free of this eating disorder.
Not to shift this post but I weighed myself today. The first time since I left Renfrew, Dec. 18. My weight has essentially been the same number for about 2 months now, so I am pretty certain my body has found it's set point.
Things are going to be alright. Have faith. And never give up. I've probably put this in here before but I want to put it in here again. I read this as my goodby at 'Frew.
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
---Jill Wolf
<33333333