(no subject)
"Christmas are coming!" said my friend cheerfully, while we were standing in our university's buffet, waiting for her order and my tin of Mountain Dew (not that I like MD. It's just a small desire from time to time to drink it).
"Yeah" I answered and that was it. Really, I still cannot understand this mess about Christmas. Maybe it's the fact I am atheist, or maybe it's the fact that spending whole two days with my family sounds more than awkward. I don't know, really. I don't hate Christmas, because they mean my uke coming from Warsaw and some meetings, Hobbit premiere (fuck that I live in Poland. Polish premiere is at 28th of December) and then New Year's Eve (which I had planned, but it seems that the plans won't work at all).
But I am not happy either. Week before Christmas will be a mess, as each year. My mother will go insane, my father will stay longer at work, sister finally doesn't live around, and I'll miss my meds more than before. It'll be harsh, exhausting and dull time. And then Christmas? Well, it'll probably be fake as before. As always. Fake smiles and fake best wishes, with no real intention on making them true. Unthoughtful presents, bought without even thinking about what might be appealing for other person and small depression during these days included.
Eh. yeah. Christmas are coming, but maybe there is a tiny chance I could just forget about them?
"Yeah" I answered and that was it. Really, I still cannot understand this mess about Christmas. Maybe it's the fact I am atheist, or maybe it's the fact that spending whole two days with my family sounds more than awkward. I don't know, really. I don't hate Christmas, because they mean my uke coming from Warsaw and some meetings, Hobbit premiere (fuck that I live in Poland. Polish premiere is at 28th of December) and then New Year's Eve (which I had planned, but it seems that the plans won't work at all).
But I am not happy either. Week before Christmas will be a mess, as each year. My mother will go insane, my father will stay longer at work, sister finally doesn't live around, and I'll miss my meds more than before. It'll be harsh, exhausting and dull time. And then Christmas? Well, it'll probably be fake as before. As always. Fake smiles and fake best wishes, with no real intention on making them true. Unthoughtful presents, bought without even thinking about what might be appealing for other person and small depression during these days included.
Eh. yeah. Christmas are coming, but maybe there is a tiny chance I could just forget about them?