just say that we agree and then never change

[xsecretadmirerx]

I hate being so damn insecure. I hate it.
I hate getting attached to people.
I hate change.
i hate my addictive behavior
I hate my obsessiveness
I hate the fact that i'll never be comfortable in my skin
I hate the other people who went because they got better
and im still worse
I hate that i will never amount or be good enough or at least not in my mind.
I hate crying
I hate having to lie
I hate being dissappointed
I hate this cycle
I hate the fact that no matter what i will be your first everything
I hate the fact that for this i feel dirty and used.
maybe because i am.
I hate the fact that you might be happier.
i hate being a dreamer.
I hate the fact that you (think) you love me
because if you knew. you'd hate me
I hate not having your validation
I hate having no selfesteem
I hate who i am
because i dont stand for anything
because i fuck up again and again and again
because no matter what i will need an addiction of some sort
because i need validation. all the time.]
because i will never be normal
or perfect
ever.