(no subject)
i can tell this year is gonna suck A$$, look at how its already started....
its supposed to be new year, new start, new this new that blah blah blah,
i screwed it up already, i lost a friend already, one that i love so much,
and i cant take anything back, i cant fix what i did wrong, no matter
how much i want to and need to, its impossible, ive ruined it between us,
and theres no way of getting any of it back, but i need this person,
i cant explain how much they mean to me, theres no words to describe
the impact they've made on my life, and they dont even know, i've lost
their trust, their care, everything, i'm so sorry for everything i did to them,
for everything ive put them through, for everything ive blamed them for,
when it was always me, it was my fault, you gave me one chance, and you told
me and i blew it, i know, im sorry, and i know there's nothing i can do or say
to fix it, or to get you back, but i want you to know, i dont hate you,
i never did, no matter what i said, it was all in the moment, you know
i never meant any of it, but i cant take it back, but i can tell you that i love you
i always have, and i always will, and though you may not accept it, or want it,
just know it, please because its true, there are many things that i regret
doing, but there are things i regret not doing with you, and i'm afraid
i wont have the chance anymore, i'm scared you wont want to see me again,
i'm scared that you've cut me out of your life now, i dont want that,
im so scared i've lost you forever, and i dont know what im going to do
without you, but if thats what you want, i guess i'm going to have to
figure it out on my own, but i didn't want to, i dont want to, i want things
to be how they were before the 5th of september, those were the best days
of my life, and i will never forget them, and i will never forget you,
i love you and i miss you