(no subject)

[xseamlessx]

I’ve been paying lip service to then conceptual idea of withdrawing myself from voluntary social interactions for a set period of time. I would still go to work so I wouldn’t have a complete social breakdown, but I wouldn’t go out to parties or hang out with barely anyone for a whole entire month. While this seems like it is absolutely absurd, especially for someone who isn’t exactly a homebody, I believe that it will allow me to delve deeper into the roots of not only my ways of thinking, yet my creativity. I have been resting on a plateau of shitty words for far too long and I have too many thoughts running through my head but not enough time to remember them.

I need a break.

It has reached the point where the slightest interaction with another person seems like a taxing procedure that I only go through the motions of. My words have become void of merit because I cannot feel any of them and I feel as if I am only saying what I know will please everyone else because I could really care less about anything. Everything has lost meaning.

I need to end what I’ve started in so many ways. This whole time I’ve been searching for anything at all to make me feel while disregarding the emotional reaction of others. The other night while he was thinking about hearts, all I thought of was skin, and I know this isn’t right…

But it works so well.