not good for your health

[xscream]

if i could be happy all the time i would do it. but that's impossible. and i can't lie. so when people ask me how i am, i hardly answer them. because i hardly feel.

that's not true.

i feel a whole fucking lot.
but i like to pretend that i don't have my own emotions. i wish people would accept that more often. adriana is the girl you don't have to worry about. she takes care of herself and it's okay.

:/ even though it's not okay.

i want my own cigarettes.. everyone else smokes shit.
that's not true. what everyone else smokes isn't bad.
it's sad that i have a personal preference now.

maybe i'm dying.