(no subject)
I am tempted to cut.. Everything out of my life. I really am.
I'm also tempted to shut down my deadjournal but I put too many memories into that thing, not REALLY willing to.
I also wish that I could block anonymous notes so that Alex wouldn't be able to leave any but he's not the only person without a deadjournal that leaves me comments in that thing.
-Taps foot impatiently- Part of me wants to ignore EVERYTHING he's ever said to me and just DO whatever the hell I WANT to do. But I won't. ><;; Because he's wiped away the appeal of doing those things. GOD I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK.
Is he ever going to get out of my life? LET HIM DO THAT MUCH FOR ME, GOD, I SWEAR I'M SICK OF BEING ANGRY ALL THE TIME
And I'm sick of the guilt, the self humiliation, the second guessing every.single.thing, the memories, the feelings. I want it all to go away.
-twitch-
I want to love myself again.
I'm also tempted to shut down my deadjournal but I put too many memories into that thing, not REALLY willing to.
I also wish that I could block anonymous notes so that Alex wouldn't be able to leave any but he's not the only person without a deadjournal that leaves me comments in that thing.
-Taps foot impatiently- Part of me wants to ignore EVERYTHING he's ever said to me and just DO whatever the hell I WANT to do. But I won't. ><;; Because he's wiped away the appeal of doing those things. GOD I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK.
Is he ever going to get out of my life? LET HIM DO THAT MUCH FOR ME, GOD, I SWEAR I'M SICK OF BEING ANGRY ALL THE TIME
And I'm sick of the guilt, the self humiliation, the second guessing every.single.thing, the memories, the feelings. I want it all to go away.
-twitch-
I want to love myself again.