i will always be chasing a ghost of a good thing.
Once again another year has passed, a few more scars were made and a few more tears were shed. For the best? For the worst? Who am I to say? I guess only time will tell. This year I'm not going to sit here and recap my year. I'm not going to talk about all the things that hurt me or made me into what I believe I am today. Instead I feel like it's time to talk about what I learned and how I can change the things that havent been sitting right in my mind. There is only so long you can put something on a shelf and ignore it. There is only so long you can let things go with out speaking up and only so long you can hold hate in your heart. It drags you down...holds on to you with out letting you gasp for air and there is only so long until you have no other choice but to let go... forget... and start over...all over.
As always each year brings change, new experiences and new friends and in the end it always ends the same. The people that have been there for me through out the years are still there, the new friends have mostly disappeared except for maybe one or two. I always have people who care, people who want to help and ways to better myself and still there is something missing, something that has been missing for a long time and I find myself still searching for it, not even knowing what the hell I'm looking for to begin with. Life.. eh, it's an interesting thing.
If nothing else this year was filled with learning experiences. Gosh have I learned a lot. Do I feel like a better person? No, not really but I feel a little less nieve then last year. I always say that to and isnt it funny how I still end up being nieve all over again.
I want things to be different this year. I want to be on my own... I want to heal from these past two years the right way. I dont want to push it aside like I have for so long. Peice by peice, step by step I will get there. I always do. It just takes time and like an old friend once said... "time sucks". Ha, so true.
Here's to 2006, who knows what the hell this year with bring.... I just hope that it brings me a little closer to whatever Im still looking for.
i will always be chasing a ghost of a good thing.
As always each year brings change, new experiences and new friends and in the end it always ends the same. The people that have been there for me through out the years are still there, the new friends have mostly disappeared except for maybe one or two. I always have people who care, people who want to help and ways to better myself and still there is something missing, something that has been missing for a long time and I find myself still searching for it, not even knowing what the hell I'm looking for to begin with. Life.. eh, it's an interesting thing.
If nothing else this year was filled with learning experiences. Gosh have I learned a lot. Do I feel like a better person? No, not really but I feel a little less nieve then last year. I always say that to and isnt it funny how I still end up being nieve all over again.
I want things to be different this year. I want to be on my own... I want to heal from these past two years the right way. I dont want to push it aside like I have for so long. Peice by peice, step by step I will get there. I always do. It just takes time and like an old friend once said... "time sucks". Ha, so true.
Here's to 2006, who knows what the hell this year with bring.... I just hope that it brings me a little closer to whatever Im still looking for.
i will always be chasing a ghost of a good thing.