WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............................
Damn it all to hell..............
Everything kinda sux lately, but there are some good things and peeps that help! But honestly im soooooo sick of feeling like this....i dont know WHAT to do, and i cant do my normal thing when i just numb the pain and confusion away...its not working out like it did in the past. I guess i just wish i had sammy here everynight to say...." man its chill"...or "dude its FIIIIIIIINE" haha, but i know she's thinking of it, and that at least puts a smile on my face, and it always has helped in the past!! I looove our advice, cant get any better than that, you know how we do! Considering all the shitty things that has happened to us mainly w/ guys.....ehhhh it's cool, right?!?! haha well i know she'd agree at least!
Anyways, school is pretty shitty another thing i have to worry about, im gonna really start studying more this week, but i still need to have SOME fun to keep me insane, and tonight was pretty chill! :) Ohh , i got 59.00 for selling only 3 of my books, i was sooo pumped cause i just ran out of money, so that was cool!!! My only class tomorrow is at 4 with jack, so Im gonna use that time and do some studyin....WOOHOO, naaa its cool i need to stop focusing on other things, and time to get to business!
STEVE called me tonight! <3 i only got to talk to him for a little bit, but it was very much relieving considering.....well i'll just leave it at that.....Anyways he sounds good, i LOVE hearing from him....its good to at least hear his voice! It makes me forget everything for at least a moment, and then he hangs up and hes gone again :( I hate this. Man...I miss him a whole lot but when does the time come when hes not just a voice on the other end of a phone line, or just another letter?!?! this shit sux, it get easier, but..........its just SUPER complicated....I dont want to go home, im not ready for my life to change....i know what its gonna bring. I guess i just dont know what it is i want, or what is right. I know I love him, and he loves me and we miss each other like crazy...but i guess no one will ever understand my pain and confusion because you can never understand the feeling of having someone that you cant realy even have??? how does it work??? cause im pretty much miserable, i dont know how much more of this i can take. Well before i start acting like a girl and cry over my problems....i think im just gonna go lay down in my bed alone and rattle my brain some more! fun fun fun!!!
Leave me some advice if you got any to give, specially you sammy! you know what I want to here! MUHAHAHA
Lata Kiddos!
Sarah
~* I love you Steve....I always will no matter what!!!~*
"When it hurts so bad,
why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense,
I wish I understood "
Everything kinda sux lately, but there are some good things and peeps that help! But honestly im soooooo sick of feeling like this....i dont know WHAT to do, and i cant do my normal thing when i just numb the pain and confusion away...its not working out like it did in the past. I guess i just wish i had sammy here everynight to say...." man its chill"...or "dude its FIIIIIIIINE" haha, but i know she's thinking of it, and that at least puts a smile on my face, and it always has helped in the past!! I looove our advice, cant get any better than that, you know how we do! Considering all the shitty things that has happened to us mainly w/ guys.....ehhhh it's cool, right?!?! haha well i know she'd agree at least!
Anyways, school is pretty shitty another thing i have to worry about, im gonna really start studying more this week, but i still need to have SOME fun to keep me insane, and tonight was pretty chill! :) Ohh , i got 59.00 for selling only 3 of my books, i was sooo pumped cause i just ran out of money, so that was cool!!! My only class tomorrow is at 4 with jack, so Im gonna use that time and do some studyin....WOOHOO, naaa its cool i need to stop focusing on other things, and time to get to business!
STEVE called me tonight! <3 i only got to talk to him for a little bit, but it was very much relieving considering.....well i'll just leave it at that.....Anyways he sounds good, i LOVE hearing from him....its good to at least hear his voice! It makes me forget everything for at least a moment, and then he hangs up and hes gone again :( I hate this. Man...I miss him a whole lot but when does the time come when hes not just a voice on the other end of a phone line, or just another letter?!?! this shit sux, it get easier, but..........its just SUPER complicated....I dont want to go home, im not ready for my life to change....i know what its gonna bring. I guess i just dont know what it is i want, or what is right. I know I love him, and he loves me and we miss each other like crazy...but i guess no one will ever understand my pain and confusion because you can never understand the feeling of having someone that you cant realy even have??? how does it work??? cause im pretty much miserable, i dont know how much more of this i can take. Well before i start acting like a girl and cry over my problems....i think im just gonna go lay down in my bed alone and rattle my brain some more! fun fun fun!!!
Leave me some advice if you got any to give, specially you sammy! you know what I want to here! MUHAHAHA
Lata Kiddos!
Sarah
~* I love you Steve....I always will no matter what!!!~*
"When it hurts so bad,
why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense,
I wish I understood "