(no subject)
Holy crap....it's about time I came back to the LJ community!! I guess when life is pretty normal there is no need to make pointless updates. But when you have some stuff to vent about, it's always nice to have LJ to fall back on.
I am going to break last nights events down into two parts. Part One has to do with Boy A. Part Two, of course, has to do with Boy B. Here is a briefing on the two boys.
BOY A: This boy is someone I've believed to be the love of my life. Him and I have been through a lot. We fought like cats, but we never let anything ruin the bond we had. Something strange happened between us. It was never discussed just ignored. He moved away a couple weeks ago and since hasn't returned my calls.
BOY B: This boy is a boy from the past. Recently I've been seeing a lot of him. I enjoy his company, when he's not being a douche bag. He's got some very strong positives about him but also some very strong negatives.
Part One: Wednesday July 13th, 3:01am.
I am sound asleep with the TV playing static and the fan blowing. I am awaken by a buzzing I seem to think is my alarm. I wake up and notice my phone flashing. Just as I'm getting to it, the call goes through to voicemail. I view the number and see BOY A's name. Sigh. I must be dreaming. It's been weeks since I've talked to him. I get a message a minute later, slightly slurred. I make out most of it and decided to take some time and call him back. He answers right away....just the sound of his voice makes everything better. he's very forward about something he's wanted to ask me. We discuss what happened the last time I saw him....and he states how it was no mistake. I want to barf. I get that weird tingly feeling in my stomach as the words pass his lips. God I miss him. If only he was up here one more week. But no, he was gone. Who knows when I would see him again. As our conversation winds down he appoligizes for not keeping in touch. He promises that we will keep in touch and see each other. I don't think I've ever wanted someone to keep a promise so bad. I hang up the phone and think about what just happened...and slowly fall back to sleep.
Part Two: Wednesday July 13th, 3:42am.
Just as I finally get to sleep, the same buzzing wakes me up, along with the flashing of the phone. I see BOY B. Again, I'm slow and missed the call. So I return the call and hear a sleepy voice. He's tired, can't sleep and asks if I want to watch a movie. He says being next to me will help him sleep. I really don't know how to take or believe anything that comes out of that boys mouth. One of the first things he ever said to me was a lie. I want so badly to believe him...and I wanted nothing more than to be with him last night either. but the odds are against us and I'm ok with that.
Now my messages:
Boy A: I love you with all my heart. I believe, without a doubt, you are my soulmate. You are absolutely the most amazing person I've ever met. It's been 4 great years. I miss you already....but I know we'll meet again.
Boy B: You amaze me. Everytime I think you forgot to call, my phone rings. You seem to reappear in my life at weird times. Maybe that means something...but I doubt it. What we have is just fun and games. You try and make me think you are serious, but I know you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't have to make me believe...it would just happen. I enjoy your company, but I think that's where it all ends.
On a brighter note, sooner or later I will be ROLLING in money. I got a second job and so far I love it. it's been keepingme nice and busy and I love that about it....
Nothing else is really new. That's my life in a nutshell.
I am going to break last nights events down into two parts. Part One has to do with Boy A. Part Two, of course, has to do with Boy B. Here is a briefing on the two boys.
BOY A: This boy is someone I've believed to be the love of my life. Him and I have been through a lot. We fought like cats, but we never let anything ruin the bond we had. Something strange happened between us. It was never discussed just ignored. He moved away a couple weeks ago and since hasn't returned my calls.
BOY B: This boy is a boy from the past. Recently I've been seeing a lot of him. I enjoy his company, when he's not being a douche bag. He's got some very strong positives about him but also some very strong negatives.
Part One: Wednesday July 13th, 3:01am.
I am sound asleep with the TV playing static and the fan blowing. I am awaken by a buzzing I seem to think is my alarm. I wake up and notice my phone flashing. Just as I'm getting to it, the call goes through to voicemail. I view the number and see BOY A's name. Sigh. I must be dreaming. It's been weeks since I've talked to him. I get a message a minute later, slightly slurred. I make out most of it and decided to take some time and call him back. He answers right away....just the sound of his voice makes everything better. he's very forward about something he's wanted to ask me. We discuss what happened the last time I saw him....and he states how it was no mistake. I want to barf. I get that weird tingly feeling in my stomach as the words pass his lips. God I miss him. If only he was up here one more week. But no, he was gone. Who knows when I would see him again. As our conversation winds down he appoligizes for not keeping in touch. He promises that we will keep in touch and see each other. I don't think I've ever wanted someone to keep a promise so bad. I hang up the phone and think about what just happened...and slowly fall back to sleep.
Part Two: Wednesday July 13th, 3:42am.
Just as I finally get to sleep, the same buzzing wakes me up, along with the flashing of the phone. I see BOY B. Again, I'm slow and missed the call. So I return the call and hear a sleepy voice. He's tired, can't sleep and asks if I want to watch a movie. He says being next to me will help him sleep. I really don't know how to take or believe anything that comes out of that boys mouth. One of the first things he ever said to me was a lie. I want so badly to believe him...and I wanted nothing more than to be with him last night either. but the odds are against us and I'm ok with that.
Now my messages:
Boy A: I love you with all my heart. I believe, without a doubt, you are my soulmate. You are absolutely the most amazing person I've ever met. It's been 4 great years. I miss you already....but I know we'll meet again.
Boy B: You amaze me. Everytime I think you forgot to call, my phone rings. You seem to reappear in my life at weird times. Maybe that means something...but I doubt it. What we have is just fun and games. You try and make me think you are serious, but I know you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't have to make me believe...it would just happen. I enjoy your company, but I think that's where it all ends.
On a brighter note, sooner or later I will be ROLLING in money. I got a second job and so far I love it. it's been keepingme nice and busy and I love that about it....
Nothing else is really new. That's my life in a nutshell.