Contemplations
So, last night I couldn't sleep, and as I lay awake in my bed upstairs, I started thinking. You know, there are so many people in my life right now that I should be grateful for, and I don't think I always am. I think sometimes, I take certain people forgranted. Of course, not in the sense you might think. I don't use people, but I think I forget how much they mean to me, or even vice versa. There are times when I feel like I don't have anyone.
Well, last night, I realized that if I actually didn't have anyone that I have now, my life would be hell. I don't think I realized how bad it would actually be if I literally had no one. Sure, everyone feels alone at times, but does that justify forgetting how lucky you really are? I don't think so.
Everyone I've ever met has impacted my life in some way or another. Thanks to all of you who have ever bothered talking to me, caring about me, wondering how I'm doing when I'm not there. Thanks to anyone who's ever hurt me. Thanks to everyone who's ever ignored me, who's ever insulted me. You've made me who I am. And I am finally happy with that.
Sure, I talk more about the bad things people have done to me, when in reality, I could write novel after novel about the good things I've been given as well. Good friends whom I know would never intentionally hurt me. Good friends whom I know would never forget about me. Good friends whom I know will never stop making sure I'm happy. Thanks to you all, as well. You've helped me more than you could ever possibly know.
This morning, I woke up to my family going out the door on a walk. As the door shut, I wondered what life would have been like if I had never had a sudden case of insomnia last night. I lay in bed for a moment, trying to envision myself in the future if I had not finally come to terms with my life. I couldn't. So I got out of bed, walked over to my mirror, and looked at myself now, here in the present.
I came downstairs smiling.
Well, last night, I realized that if I actually didn't have anyone that I have now, my life would be hell. I don't think I realized how bad it would actually be if I literally had no one. Sure, everyone feels alone at times, but does that justify forgetting how lucky you really are? I don't think so.
Everyone I've ever met has impacted my life in some way or another. Thanks to all of you who have ever bothered talking to me, caring about me, wondering how I'm doing when I'm not there. Thanks to anyone who's ever hurt me. Thanks to everyone who's ever ignored me, who's ever insulted me. You've made me who I am. And I am finally happy with that.
Sure, I talk more about the bad things people have done to me, when in reality, I could write novel after novel about the good things I've been given as well. Good friends whom I know would never intentionally hurt me. Good friends whom I know would never forget about me. Good friends whom I know will never stop making sure I'm happy. Thanks to you all, as well. You've helped me more than you could ever possibly know.
This morning, I woke up to my family going out the door on a walk. As the door shut, I wondered what life would have been like if I had never had a sudden case of insomnia last night. I lay in bed for a moment, trying to envision myself in the future if I had not finally come to terms with my life. I couldn't. So I got out of bed, walked over to my mirror, and looked at myself now, here in the present.
I came downstairs smiling.