(no subject)
i've subconciously cut down on doing the livejournal thing. i guess i just havent found my life intersting enough to document lately, but today again im feeling remote. ive been given some chance to stand out and look at my surroundings over the past bit of time, or so as it feels, and i cant help but feel apart from something i must be missing. i've hit a time that should be full of occurences, reconstruction if you will; things that everyone else seems to be on top of, yet im still struggling through the fog. future is a mystery, including any guideline i should be setting (but most likely should have set). where to go, what to do, and how i'll do it are all questions i ask myself each morning about the day ahead of me, let alone the life lining years that are passing me like headlights on the other side of the highway. im starting to think of turning my back on the anti-preparation bohemian way of just letting things happen. but i still wish, everyday, that i could be the drunken adolescent i was and still get the academics to move on.
as far as these thoughts go, i'll save the rest for my pen.
to the audience: thank you, i feel introverted tonight. i promise it wont happen again.