taking a step back
So its no new news that Im in the Navy and Im away from all the comforts of home and friends and all the things I always took for granted.
Lately Ive just kinda felt like the odd man out... like the only contact I have with my friends is an occasional email from a select like 3 people, maybe a myspace message or even an instant message that I get on my cell phone(even though the last 3 IMs I have gotten have ended with "oh wrong IM, sorry").
Im not crying about this by any means its just that being this disconnected kinda gave me a chance to take a step back and see things alot differently. I know that no one really gives a shit about what Im doing when they ask what I do in the Navy but ya know what? Im out of massachusetts, I live on my own, I dont depend on drugs or alcohol to smile, I dont jump from person to person in a constant search for that new "Im in love" feeling and I find myself caring less and less about all the dumb bullshit I used to make my life.
Everytime I read my friends page I wish and wish I could just fix everything for my friends or atleast do something but at the same time I feel like "hey man, fuck it. They dont call you... fuck they dont contact you unless they stumble across you on myspace and there super bored" ya know? Its a real shitty feeling. Like my whole life is just done a complete 180. Im finally really on my own. Besides Heather Ive got nothing and no matter how frustrating it is to hear about my friends sinking into deppression and drugs and god knows what else its just kinda like, fuck it. Time to go man.
To my friends that have done something, moved out, moved on and started something new for themselves, I wish nothing but the best... I miss all the "old times" if you will.
To all my friends that are in a hard place and just keep repeating the mistakes of the past... I wish nothing but the best for you also but come on, you have your own mind and you make your own choices(hell yeah Path Of Resistance lyrics!). If you really dont want to be stuck in the bullshit anymore then get out. If I can do it anyone can. Im not saying go join the military... in fact I highly suggest against it seeming as though there sending everyone to iraq(especially Navy personel right now), but do something. Save yourself. Please.
I dont even really know what im trying to put across in this rant, Ive been working since 4 am this morning and im pretty out of it. But chances are if you read all of that ramble you get some kinda idea of what im saying.
6037933679/margerisonwa@ffg56.navy.mil
Thats it, you wanna talk to me... dont myspace it. Take 2 minutes to email me. I cant check myspace... fuck maybe even call me. I love hearing from people(that have positive things to say) or even if you just wanna talk for something.
I dont know.
Listen to Buddy Wakefield, check out my pictures www.flickr.com/photos/waltermargerison
Live life/Im crazy.
Lately Ive just kinda felt like the odd man out... like the only contact I have with my friends is an occasional email from a select like 3 people, maybe a myspace message or even an instant message that I get on my cell phone(even though the last 3 IMs I have gotten have ended with "oh wrong IM, sorry").
Im not crying about this by any means its just that being this disconnected kinda gave me a chance to take a step back and see things alot differently. I know that no one really gives a shit about what Im doing when they ask what I do in the Navy but ya know what? Im out of massachusetts, I live on my own, I dont depend on drugs or alcohol to smile, I dont jump from person to person in a constant search for that new "Im in love" feeling and I find myself caring less and less about all the dumb bullshit I used to make my life.
Everytime I read my friends page I wish and wish I could just fix everything for my friends or atleast do something but at the same time I feel like "hey man, fuck it. They dont call you... fuck they dont contact you unless they stumble across you on myspace and there super bored" ya know? Its a real shitty feeling. Like my whole life is just done a complete 180. Im finally really on my own. Besides Heather Ive got nothing and no matter how frustrating it is to hear about my friends sinking into deppression and drugs and god knows what else its just kinda like, fuck it. Time to go man.
To my friends that have done something, moved out, moved on and started something new for themselves, I wish nothing but the best... I miss all the "old times" if you will.
To all my friends that are in a hard place and just keep repeating the mistakes of the past... I wish nothing but the best for you also but come on, you have your own mind and you make your own choices(hell yeah Path Of Resistance lyrics!). If you really dont want to be stuck in the bullshit anymore then get out. If I can do it anyone can. Im not saying go join the military... in fact I highly suggest against it seeming as though there sending everyone to iraq(especially Navy personel right now), but do something. Save yourself. Please.
I dont even really know what im trying to put across in this rant, Ive been working since 4 am this morning and im pretty out of it. But chances are if you read all of that ramble you get some kinda idea of what im saying.
6037933679/margerisonwa@ffg56.navy.mil
Thats it, you wanna talk to me... dont myspace it. Take 2 minutes to email me. I cant check myspace... fuck maybe even call me. I love hearing from people(that have positive things to say) or even if you just wanna talk for something.
I dont know.
Listen to Buddy Wakefield, check out my pictures www.flickr.com/photos/waltermargerison
Live life/Im crazy.